Ascension 139

[HOMOFLEXUAL DYNAMITE]

KINGDOM COME

COMING SOON...

BE PREPARED. BECOME LEGENDARY

[HOMOFLEXUAL DYNAMITE]

Ascension opens cold with Flex Mussel sitting in a King’s chair in the middle of the ring. No pyro. No entrance music, just the fitness freak and a microphone and a rowdy crowd anxiously awaits the start of the show.

Flex: I’ve forgone any theatrics for the beginning of the show because I think an important topic needs discussing: the fact that it doesn’t feel like Kingdom Come is around the corner. Yes we are just mere weeks away from the biggest show of the year and we just confirmed the World title match maybe a day or two ago. Many people don’t know their status, their place on the card, their fate on the grandest stage in all of wrestling. But me, Flex Mussel, I’m a selfless man. I am much more concerned with who is being inducted in the illustrious WZCW Hall of Fame. No one has even mentioned it. Which is exactly why I am out here right now, as there is only one man who is deserving of the spot: Mikey Stormrage!

Fans cheer at the idea of the massive fan favorite being inducted, The bodybuilder begins to feed off their energy.

Flex: Now that’s the type of noise I wanna hear! Mikey Stormrage! A grand slam champion, winner of all championships that matter, countless wins over legends, a staple of this company and someone we couldn’t afford to lose, there is no better option to stand aside the very best in our industry than-





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc2GXtwnxJU



The Elite Openweight champion makes his way down the ramp title belt in hand and he does not look happy. Ignoring the adulation from the fans he makes way into the ring and quickly procures a microphone before going nose to nose with Flex.

Mikey: You think any of this is funny? You think any of this is amusing? You making a mockery of my legacy?

Flex: Mikey the only thing I’m doing is trying to get everyone to respect your legacy-

Mikey: You’re a liar! A fake! Someone who only looks out and cares for himself! You think I’m going to be just like any of your past friends and let myself believe you don’t have ulterior motives? You’re a snake, and I know this whole “Mikey Stormrage Appreciation” kick you’ve been on this week is nothing more than a cheap ruse to let my guard down. Well just to let you know, if you wanted to face me man to man, you could’ve just asked.

The monisuer of muscle shakes his head as he tries to get Mikey to calm down.

Flex: Look Mikey, I know we’ve had issues in the past. But I’m trying to mend fences here. It’s the exact reason why I asked for us to be tag team partners in the main event tonight. I know I’m not exactly the most well-liked person, I know my track record with allies isn’t the best, but I want you to know that my respect and appreciation for your legacy in this company is just as genuine as my muscle mass. However…

The champion immediately gets on guard.

Flex: You did inquire about a possible one on one contest. And I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t interested in that championship you got on your shoulder. Truth is Mikey we’ve never had a proper one on one match in the multiple years we’ve both in this company and that’s quite a shame. For this company, for these fans, but more importantly for us. So since you so graciously offered I figure let’s make it official: at Kingdom Come, Mikey Stormrage vs Flex Mussel for the Elite Openweight Championship!

Mikey immediately puts the championship gold in Flex’s face.

Mikey: You’re on, at Kingdom Come I’m going to expose you as the fraud you are-

Callie: NOT SO FAST!

Callie Clark makes her way onstage with a mic in one hand and the Ultimate X in the other.

Callie: Do you two clowns really think I’m going to let you make a championship match when I’m the one who has a guaranteed title shot at either the Eurasian or Elite? Don’t think I haven’t forgotten that you stole that from me in the first place Mikey!

Mikey: Anytime you wanna come and get it I’m waiting right here Callie-

As Mikey is focused on Callie Alice Adams slides in the ring with a steel chair and winds back to attack Mikey, Flex takes the steel chair from her much to the annoyance of the Burlesque dancer. Mikey turns around to see the FlexAmerican allies together with Flex’s chair in hand. He immediately blasts Alice in the face with his championship and signals for Flex to bring the fight. Flex just drops the steel chair and slowly exits the ring. Callie shakes her head as Alice tries to recover on the outside. Mikey looks like a feral animal cornered as Flex just continues to clap.

Connor: Did Flex just save Mikey from an assault?

Cohen: He’s an honest man, I can’t see why Mikey doesn’t realize it. Regardless, he’s going to need a partner like that tonight as Callie and Alice have made it clear they want the champion’s title.

Connor: All four competitors clash in the main event tag team action later tonight! Ascenson rages on after this!

[HOMOFLEXUAL DYNAMITE]

We're back from commercial to see Vlad in the ring with referee Katie Sheppard and Selena Anderson.

Cohen: Before we get back to Ascension, sponsored by Skittles, what's your favorite sign of the night Cat?

Connor: There's a sign that says RNK rules which is hilarious because it's not spelled correctly.

Cohen: Indeed! Next up is Milenko who got a shock win against Titus last week.

Connor: It doesn't bode well for Vlad.

AndersonHis challenger from “The Dark Carnival”, The Great Milenko[/B]



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnDWPsV383w

The lights cut as Milenko appears behind Vlad. He hit's the Hell's pit straight away. He covers Vlad. 1...2...3.

Anderson: The winner of this match by pinfall, The Great Milenko.

Connor: Worse than I thought..

Cohen: I hadn't even finished my drink of water. Another impressive win for Milenko.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flex Mussel can be seen walking backstage, he is soon confronted by a heated Alice Adams still holding her head from a Mikey Stormrage belt shot.

Alice: What the hell is wrong with you?! Why didn’t you have my back?!

Flex: I need Mikey one hundred percent, no excuses when I show him I’m the better man Kingdom Come. And you still haven’t proven yourself to me.

Alice: Proven?! If proof is what you want you’re going to get it tonight! I was gunning for him but now you both are going to learn not to take me lightly, and I’m going to do what you can’t! And that’s beat Mikey Stormrage!

Alice storms off shoulder checking Flex as she leaves. The bodybuilder smirks before heading in the opposite direction.

[HOMOFLEXUAL DYNAMITE]

Anderson: The following triple threat match is scheduled for one fall, introducing first....




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmIBSeFhnfc&feature=youtu.be


Anderson: .....from The Southeast, weighing 200 pounds, Just Carl!

Carl comes out with "I Am Machine" blaring loudly over the loudspeakers. He gets a pop from the crowd as he runs down the ramp giving knuckle pumps and high fives. When he gets to the ramp Carl dropkicks himself under the bottom rope and then rolls onto his back for a kip-up to pop the crowd again. He goes to his corner and awaits his opponent.

Connor: This is a great chance for Just Carl to make a name for himself here tonight, he's got a tough couple of opponents though and...

Cohen: I don't mean to cut you off Cat, but Keith Kole just ran to the ring before his entrance music had time to play!




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55NJzOSuKuY


Kole is already in the ring rubbing his hand in Carl's face, referee Morse is trying to pry both of them apart to restore order.

Anderson: Next, from San Diego,CA, weighing 235 pounds, Keith Kole!

Cohen: He just threw his vest in Carl's face, that thing is expensive! I wouldn't want some other chump stain getting his sweat all over my new vest, I'll tell ya that much!

Connor: Well he is part of FlexAmerica, this is a great opportunity to show everyone how good he is.

Morse is checking Carl for illegal objects, he checks his boot and Kole jumps over the ref and decks Carl in the face! Kassandra quickly jumps through the middle ropes while screaming instructions to her man. The fans start booing as Kole knocks Carl down in the corner with a hard right hand, he shakes it and smirks, he then presses his knee into Carl's neck and applies pressure. Morse is trying his best to haul Kole away but to no avail, the arrogant Flexamerican shoves him away and continues.

Connor: Well, we still got one more guy to come out gentlemen!

The lights go out....




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISHRaEj7yO0



Anderson: And introducing their opponent, from Toronto Ontario Canada, Remarkable Mark Keaton!

Mark Keaton strolls out to the stage, chewing chum and sneering. He stops as the fans give him a respectable return cheer, he then does a quick headbang to the right and a pyro explodes, then a quick headbang to the left and another pyro explodes. He stops at the top of the ramp and starts playing air guitar as he makes his way to the ring. He removes his sunglasses and flips them into the crowds then jogs up the stairs, he hops through the ropes. Mark throws his leather jacket over the ropes then flexes his muscles. He takes his gum and throws it at Kole while stretching in the corner.

Morse quickly calls for the bell ,

DING! DING! DING!

Kole dashes across the ring and swings wildly at Mark, the rocker ducks and arm drags him over the top ropes to the floor outside. Carl recovers and walks to the center of the ring. He offers Mark a handshake. RMK points at Carl with mock suspicion and asks the crowd if its ok, they laugh and say yes. Mark shakes Carl's hand, but holds on and delivers his signature arm ring and short arm clothesline! Mark drops an elbow on him and hooks the leg...1....2...Carl kicks out. Kole slides back in the ring, he runs and jumps, Mark rolls out of the way and Kole lands his elbow on Carl, Mark jumps for an elbow on Kole but he rolls out of the way and it hits Carl again, Kole and Mark stand up quickly next to Carl on the canvas, they both drop a quick elbow to Carl this time, getting a positive reaction from the crowd. Kole goes for the cover and Mark pushes him off and tries himself. Kole goes to push Mark off but gets caught in a small package 1...2... Kole kicks out. RMK jumps up to his feet and goes to play his air guitar but is rolled up from behind by Carl 1....2.....Mark kicks out! All three men recover and take a corner for a quick applause from the crowds.

Cohen: Mark Keaton doesn't look like he has any ring rust, he must've been working on his wrestling game while touring the world!

Keaton holds his hands up in the air for a three man test of strength. Kole grabs one of Mark's hands and one of Carl's hands, Just Carl grabs Keaton's other hand to complete the circle and the game is on, all men are struggling and trying to bring their opponents to their knees. RMK applies the pressure and it looks like Carl is slowly going down, Keith screams and Mark starts lowering down from the strength of Kole. Carl and RMK fight back and Kole starts slowly going down now, but suddenly he breaks his grip from both men and runs through them with a vicious double clothesline! Carl kips up, Keaton can't quite kip up and falls back down, he instead rolls out of the ring to quickly get to his feet. Kole swings at Carl and misses, Just Carl quickly dropkicks Kole to the canvas, Carl kips up again as Kole rolls to his feet quickly, Carl dropkicks him again and kips up but Mark is right behind him and catches him with a side suplex to the canvas. Kole slowly gets to his feet, Mark runs and nails him with a cross body smash but Kole catches him, showing great power and body slams Keaton roughly over the top ropes!

Connor: Man, that would really suck for Keaton if he sustained an injury right there, his first match back too!

Just Carl runs and attempts a running boot, Kole slaps it to one side and applies a full nelson on Carl, he picks him up and whips him down hard to the mat. Kole jumps on him and gives him some mounted punches. Morse warns him to watch the closed fists but Kole curses at the ref and covers Carl, 1....2... he kicks out and Kole grabs him in a headlock. Mark slides in the ring, he hauls Kole off of Carl by the hair and tosses him off of the ropes, Kole ducks a lariat and bounces off the far ropes, Carl kips up but Kole clotheslines him back down but takes an RMK dropkick to the face! Keaton grabs Carl and applies a single leg submission hold. Morse is close seeing if he wants to give up, Kole takes a minute to recover and uses the ropes to get back to his feet. He hooks Mark's head and snaps him with a very fast DDT to the canvas. Kole grabs Carl's hair and hauls him off of the canvas, he picks him up and nails him to the mat with a hard spinebuster. Mark gets to his feet but he's wobbly, Kole connects with his May I Take Your Order superkick! Keaton staggers back and falls through the middle ropes before Kole can grab him.

Connor: Kole's signature superkick connected with Mark.....OH WOW!! Carl just hit The Ouch!

Kole bounces off the mat from the blue thunder bomb....1....2.....Kole kicks out!

Cohen: That was really close folks! I thought Just Carl had it there!

Just Carl climbs to the top ropes, he gets ready to jump but Kole rolls over and grabs the bottom rope like a life preserver. The fans boo, but Carl has an excited look on his face, he turns around and jumps out of the ring and nails RMK on the padded mats with a huge moonsault! The fans cheer loud for that one and -Holy shit- chants could be heard. Keith rolls out of the ring, he grabs Carl and irish whips him into the barricade, he then grabs his arm again and irish whips him hard into the steel steps. Kole takes a moment to rest as his opponents are down and out on the padded mats. He grabs Keaton's blond hair and hauls him to his feet, he gives him a hard irish whip into the steel steps too, sending the rocker flying over Carl's body. Kole gives Carl a hard boot then picks up Mark again, he rolls him in the ring. Kole takes his time and climbs through the ropes, he stretches his shoulder and yells that it's over. Kole applies Customer Service (Hell's Gate) in the middle of the ring! Mark struggles to breath as the hold tightens and Keith grabs his hair to keep his neck pressed on the shin. He rapidly starts to fade from Kole's power, the ref lifts Mark's arm and drops it....1.....Morse picks up Mark's lifeless arm again and drops it....2.....he picks it up again and it drops! NO! Carl interferes with Mark's arm and stomps Kole in the face to break the hold. Mark rolls to the bottom ropes seemingly passed out.

Connor: Another really close moment! This time it was Kole's match but Carl interrupted his submission victory!

Cohen: Morse should've called for the bell right away! Mark was out cold! This should be a FlexAmerican victory Seabass!!

Kole and Carl are exchanging lefts and rights in the middle of the ring, Kole swings a big right haymaker but Carl ducks and hits him with a perfect german suplex and bridges it....1....2....Kole kicks out! Carl gets to his feet, he picks up Kole and hits another German suplex! Carl starts hitting the ropes, pumped up and feeding off the fans who are getting behind him, Kole staggers to his feet, Carl nails him with Hello from the other siiide (Tornado DDT) signature to the canvas! He quickly kips up and runs up the turnbuckles to the top ropes displaying incredible agility but RMK dropkicks his back sending him flying over the ringpost all the way to the padded mats, bouncing hard!

Connor: Wow! Did you see that?!

Mark climbs the turnbuckle, he eyes Kole on the mat and prepares to jump but Kole recovers and rolls out of the ring, avoiding damage!

Connor: A nice save by Kole there, avoiding what could have been a match ending move.

Cohen: He certainly got lucky, but he needs to watch out because Keaton is still on the top turnbuckle!

RMK takes stock of the situation on the top ropes, he turns and jumps over the ringpost and hits Just Carl with a super legdrop to the padded mats! The crowds roar and chant - Holy shit- once more! Kole quickly pulls Keaton up by the hair, and drops him with a clothesline! Kole then hauls Carl to his feet, he tosses the lifeless body of Carl over his head and through the middle rope into the ring in a great display of strength. Kole smirks as Carl rolls around on the mat in pain, but as Kole turns around, he walks right into a dropkick from Keaton! Keaton isn't done with him yet though, as he pulls Kole back up, and tosses him into the time keepers area! Kole lands in a heap after crashing down onto a chair as Keaton sees an opportunity to win and slides back into the ring, but Carl has recovered and runs and shoves Keaton into the corner, then goes for the Player's Boot (Helluva Kick) in the corner but RMK ducks and rolls out of the way! Carl hits his knee hard and limps to the center of the ring, Mark grabs him and hoists him up, he nails him with Voltron (Jackhammer) Suplex! 1....2....3!

Ding Ding Ding!

Anderson: The winner of this match, Remarkable Mark Keaton!

Connor: Keith Kole had the battle plan and it looked like he was going to prevail here, even Just Carl looked like he had this match won several times but was just unlucky at the final moment!

Cohen: I'm not used to hearing fans cheering on Mark, where were they when he was in V.I? They can't make up their damn minds I tell ya!

Mark climbs the top ropes and celebrates with some radical air guitar moves. Kole has recovered on the outside and is cursing Mark while walking backwards up the ramp.

[HOMOFLEXUAL DYNAMITE]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YW9QKy6oDkE


Connor: Well this is unexpected surprise.

Cohen: I don’t think it’ll be a welcome one….

WZCW Hall of Famer Matt Tastic makes his way down the ramp and immediately to ringside where he grabs a microphone and yells for it to be turned on. Once his voice can be picked by the mic he slides inside the ring and begins addressing the live audience.

Tastic: I’m not going to play dumb with you, you’re all smarter than that, you know what’s going on. Anybody with a decent set of eyes can see what’s happening. I haven’t exactly been on the top of my game lately. I haven’t been winning matches I should be winning, Kingdom Come is just a matter of weeks away and I couldn’t be farther from any title contention. If I wasn’t on the card I don’t think anyone would bat an eye. I’m quite a far cry from the hall of fame superstar that was main eventing the show just a few years ago.

Cohen: Well he’s right about that-

Connor: Shush Jack!

Tastic: Truth is my time, my commitment, and my passion for WZCW has been slowly fading for a while, and I haven’t been giving things the hundred percent effort that I should have, and that’s not fair to me, but more importantly, it’s not fair to any of the WZCW Universe! So rather than slowly sully my career losing match after match I’ve decided to do something I never thought I would do….and that’s say goodbye from WZCW.

Fans begin to chant “PLEASE DON’T GO!” repeatedly at what looks to be a heart broken Tastic. He gets choked up on his words before continuing his speech.

Tastic: Fear not...you’re not getting rid of me just yet! You all are straight loco if you think I’m not going down without a fight, and I want that last fight, and I want that last match to be at Kingdom Come! I don’t know who exactly its going to be with but to be honest, at this point I could give a damn! I’m challenging anyone in back to face me, as long as you’re ready for the fight of your life because I’ll be damned if I leave this company anything but a winner! So come on out and face the kickassery!

Tastic eagerly waits for someone to walk down the ramp but moments pass, and no one comes out. The eagerness and passion slowly leak out from the former World champion as he looks defeated.

Tastic: Understandable, no one wants to face me, I’m not exactly the gatekeeping win that I used to be, well I anticipated things going a bit differently but-

Before Tastic can finish his sentence Stetson Hayes rushes the ring out of nowhere and nails Tastic with a big boot to the back of the head!

Connor: What the hell is Stetson doing?!

Cohen: Answering the call to action obviously!

Stetson throws a downed Tastic to the outside and follows, Tastic tries to fight back but Stetson delivers a low blow! As the veteran is bent over Stetson delivers a quick and forceful snap powebomb right through the announce table! Stetson grabs a mic as Tastic aches in the wreckage. The commentary shuffle to get their headsets back.

Stetson: You wanted one last match, I’ll give you one last ride, at Kingdom Come we both may just be riding off into the sunset, difference is I’ll be going home with my dignity boy.

The Texan spits on the downed Tastic as officials rush out to check on him. Stetson walks off the fans begin to boo.

Cohen: Well it looks like Tastic got the challenge he was hoping for. But it may not be a joyous occasion for him.

Connor: The disrespect shown by Stetson tonight is disgusting, but something tells me there may be more to this, regardless, they’ll have Kingdom Come to settle it!

Tastic refuses medical help as he tries to get to his feet but struggles and falls back down, officials forcibly begin carrying him as we go to commercial break.

[HOMOFLEXUAL DYNAMITE]

Harrys: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is the Main Event of the evening!!!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0l7-WRHSfHo

King Mussel enters the arena with his signature FlexAmerican World Title and raises it high in the air. He wraps it around his waist before throwing fruit and protein shakes at the fans while Charles follows behind him waving the FlexAmerican flag. Mussel takes his time entering the ring before yelling "Make America Healthy Again" at fans.

Harrys: Tonight's finale concludes in a tag team match. Introducing first, from Paris, France, weighing 220 pounds, Flex Mussél!

Cohen: We have something of a supergroup taking on the combined forces of Callie and Alice tonight. Both Flex and his partner made names for themselves in the tag team division. Both former World champions. It's hard to bet against such an alliance.

Connor: Yet both men have been at odds several times. I don't think it's a sure thing tonight. They gotta have that synergy they brought to the table back in their tag team days.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc2GXtwnxJU

Green lights flicker to the familiar music, and the crowd roars as Mikey Stormrage makes his way out to the ring. He smiles, slapping the hands of the fans as he walks down the ramp.

Harrys: And his partner, from Berkeley California by way of Indiana. Weighing in at 355 pounds; he is your WZCW ELITE OPENWEIGHT CHAMPION……Mikey Stormrage!

Connor: Elite Champion himself, Mikey is set to face Callie one-on-one, but for now he has to contend with two hungry opponents and a partner that doesn't mind throwing fruits at people.

Cohen: He better not drag King Mussel down. That man can save this country. We got a real crisis on our hands. Just look at Mikey.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRsRAvCvPJs

Callie struts out onto the stage and strikes a pose. She is dressed as Mal from Disney's Descendants, complete with purple wig and black attire. She gets into the ring and strikes her pose again.

Harrys: And their opponent, from New York, New York, weighing 100 pounds, Callie Clark!

Cohen: Speaking of, the winner of the Roulette Round's X Match, Callie has a lot to prove against Mikey, just like Mal tries to prove herself to her mom Maleficent.

Connor: You don't strike me as the type to watch Descendants.

Cohen: Assuming makes an ass of you and me, Cat.




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogDnZFbkBxY

Alice slowly and seductively walks down the ramp, and takes her sweet sweet time getting into the ring and adjusting her wardrobe. She gives the front row a little leg before going to an adjacent corner. She undresses..her robe. There are many in the front row giving her the wolf whistle.

Harrys: And her opponent, from Palm Springs, California, weighing 175 pounds, Alice "Baby Doll" Adams!

Connor: Don't let her looks fool you viewers. Alice has been a blue chipper for quite a while now and is ready to go all in. Right, Jack?

Cohen: I'm sorry, are you talking to me? My mind is on other things right now.

Elizabeth Prince officiates the match.


Ding Ding Ding

King Mussel and Alice Adams start the contest...Adams with an Encore! The discus clothesline plants Flex on the mat and Alice lifts his legs up into the air for the pin....1...2...A kickout. A red Mussel gets back up and attempts the Flexicution - his discus clothesline misses by inches, but he connects with an elbow to the back of the dancer's head. Adams drops to a knee and holds her head. The referee checks on Alice while King Mussel flexes in front of Callie Clark. She extends her index finger and her thumb up to her forehead to signify Flex as a loser. Mussel turns his attention back to Alice who still recuperates. The Flexamerican grabs her by her torso and Gutwrench overhead throws her across the mat. Flex: TAG CALLIE! but Alice doesn't, instead she gets back up and launches herself into Flex headfirst. He winces, and wraps his arms over her torso again. Alice Adams reverses, grabbing Flex's arm and then his head for a swinging neckbreaker. She mounts him with a flurry of punches before Elizabeth pulls her off. Mikey waves his hand, wanting a tag.

Connor: Interesting technique by Alice.

Cohen: Taking up the ref's time is definitely interesting.

Alice doesn't let up, sending a back elbow to Flex's own face. He staggers, becomes enraged, and deadlifts Adams off the ground. He pops her up, catches her, and sends her crashing down with a Belly-To-Belly Suplex. He goes for the pin, but breaks it up himself. He sees Mikey's hand, and takes Adams over to their corner. Mikey Stormrage is tagged in. Together they lift the burlesque dancer off the ground with a Double Powerbomb. Mikey with the pin. 1...2...3-Kickout from Alice. She is writhing in pain when Mikey backs away to allow her to stand up. The crowd cheers the sportsmanship, but Flex drowns them out with accusations of Mikey going soft. Once Alice is back on her feet, Mikey calls for a test of strength. Flex audibly laughs. Alice nods, and extends a hand out...to backslap Mikey! She crawls between his legs, and immediately tags in Callie. The cosplayer rushes in and the two fight like rabid dogs - - - Fist against Mikey's face, fist against Callie's, the two are broken apart by the arrival of Flex, who knees Callie in the stomach. She doubles down and lands on her knees. Mikey with a swift DDT. Referee gets Flex back to his corner.

Connor: Callie is on fire but she's running into the experience of two veterans right now.

Cohen: A Hall of Famer and future Hall of Famer you mean.

Callie cradles her head and rolls out of the ring. Mikey follows suit, and gives chase. Callie runs the perimeter of the ring but Mikey stays close. Callie slides back inside and when Mikey does likewise, he eats ... a Pele Kick! Callie covers him, but half his body is under the ropes. Exasperated, she starts clapping her hands in the referee's face. Mikey stands back up, and the two grapple. Mikey overpowers Callie, thrusting her into an empty corner turnbuckle. He circles the ring, and sprints at the prone Callie. Turnbuckle clothesline! Callie plops to the mat and satisfied, Mikey tags Flex in.

Not to be outdone, Flex places Callie back onto the turnbuckles the same way and lands a turnbuckle clothesline. He's booed for copying Mikey. Stormrage gives him a look that begs "Why?" King Mussel struts a little before grabbing hold of Callie. Callie uses what strength she has left and reverses...Running Bulldog. She goes for the pin but Flex bucks her off. She crashes to the outside. Alice Adams gets off the apron to check on her.

Cohen: Flex and Mikey are proving to be a larger than life duo.

Connor: Flex's arms are the size of steak cuts and Mikey is Mikey. Thought that went without saying.

Flex runs the ropes for a suicide dive - and misses both opponents completely, showing once again the idiocracy of such a move. Together they stomp King Mussel repeatedly until the referee gets to "Four!". Callie takes Flex back in and when Adams got back to her station Callie made the tag. Adams climbed the second rope and sent Flex to the mat with a Diving Bulldog. Mikey jumps up and down, demanding a tag. Flex and Adams are on the ground, and Flex begins to crawl to Mikey.

Callie: What's the matter, bro? Can't even lift?

Flex turns his attention back to the pair. He is back up alongside Adams, and lifts her high up into the air in a Gorilla Press. He chunks her at Callie. Callie ducks, but touches Adams before she crumples to the outside. Callie is on Mussel - dropkick sends him on the outside. Callie runs the ropes...and attempts a suicide dive - Flex leapfrogs Callie! Flex leapfrogs Callie! The cosplayer crashes and burns because the suicide dive is not what smart opponents use. Elizabeth Prince starts the ten count.

Seeing how Adams went to Callie, Mikey checks on Flex. Flex shoves him away, telling him he can fight Callie better than Mikey ever could. Stormrage backs away, unsure about his partner.

As the referee reached "Six!", King Mussel sent Callie through the ropes and back inside, but not before Irish Whipping her into the nearby post. Callie clutches her leg in a blind agony. Flex signals for the end and grabs Callie - Callie shoved Flex off and Mikey got the tag! They argue about how he became the legal man when Callie dropkicks Flex into Mikey. Mikey falls off the apron and lands on the timekeeper.

Connor: I...wow. Breakdown of trust and footing.

Cohen: Nevermind that shit! Somebody check on our timekeeper!

Flex answers back with a Flexicution! Callie ducked in the nick of time...but Elizabeth Prince didn't. The referee eats the finisher to the dismay (and for some, the delight) of the fans. Callie instantly tags Alice in and gets out of the ring. Alice seizes the opportunity and low-blows King Mussel! The dancer rolls him up...but the referee is out cold. Callie Clark tosses a steel chair into the ring. Adams grabs it, smacks Flex once across the back with it, but realizes that Mikey is still the legal man. She goes for Mikey who is still on the outside, but Flex smarts up and wrestles the chair away from Adams. Notices the referee stir and Mikey back on his feet, Adams fakes a chair shot and tumbles to the mat, letting go of the weapon.

Mikey sees Flex with the chair, the referee barely back up, and a prone Adams. The Elite Champion assumes the worst, asking what Flex is doing while getting back into the ring. As the referee comes to and orders Flex out, Adams delivers a Flying Forearm Smash to Mikey, making him lose his balance. She then climbs up the top rope -

Alice Adams with a Private Show DDT!

Alice Adams covers Mikey Stormrage. Flex is still dazed from the confusion. 1...2...3!

Harrys: Here are your winners...Alice Adams and Callie Clark!!!

Cohen: Incredible. Alice secured the win.

Connor: More like took advantage.

Cohen: Whatever, not Alice's fault they didn't trust each other. Congratulations Callie Clark and Alice Adams on beating such juggernauts. Huge win in the record books tonight.


Caught up in the moment, the two women embrace. Mikey and Flex look at each other, unsure how things fell apart as the show comes to an end.

[HOMOFLEXUAL DYNAMITE]

Credits

Opening/Segments - Dynamite
Milenko/Vlad - Titus
Triple Threat - Jeff
Main Event - Spidey

Thanks to Jeff for the last minute help with the match. We truly apologize for how abysmal this round has gone. Boards and everything soon so we can recalibrate and end the KC cycle right.