EnviousDominous
03-10-2021, 08:46 AM
Okay, let's see here. I've got my popcorn, and some tutti-frutti jello powder for seasoning. I have lobster flavored ramen. A plain pizza from Sam's covered in whipped cream. And last, but not least, an entire package of adult diapers.
I think I'm ready to witness the battle of the ages. Oh yeah, it's happening.
Here's some backstory:
Soulja Boy has gone TOO FAR! It was bad enough that he managed to earn millions of dollars off of his one hit rap song, which proudly inspired all of us to dance like idiots and rap about throwing a bed sheet on a woman's back immediately after sprayed her with seminal fluid. Then he had the audacity to release the SouljaGame video game console, and he REFUSED in a VERY rude manner to allow me to test an early model.
Then he wanted to sell dishsoap!? DISHSOAP!? CLEARLY SouljaBoy wants to put the good, honest people that manufacture Dixie paper plates out of business. Fuck dishsoap. I will die on that hill.
So any-who; Soulja Boy, who was writing flippant tweets -- as people with too much money and free time are wont to do -- about how irritated he was with the rap game. He tweeted the following:
Rap game faker than WWE
Now...he said WWE. He didn't say "Enviousdominous sucks. And by the way; rap game faker than pro-wrestling".
On one hand, the WWE has truly become the official torch-bearer for all things that come to mind when we think of professional wrestling. On the other hand, I've only seen people who are involved with the WWE react angrily to Soulja Boy.
Thus spoke Randy Orton. The Viper angrily smashed his thumbs against the screen of his Galaxy S8 to tweet the following:
Fake? Dare this prick to step up. He dont like movies? Consider us actors that do stunts, without pads 200 days a year and don?t bitch when we get surgically repaired and come right back. Consider us 100 times tougher then anyone you?ve come across. Aint nuthin but a bitch ass...
To which Soulja Boy replied, no wait, Randy sent a reply to his own tweet:
Ps @sanbenito would beat the fuck outta you. Why? How? Because he?s seen our world. Respects it and knows what it takes and finds himself lucky to be a part of it. You wanna talk fake? Pawn that cheap ass chain and come work for it you one hit wonder ass mutha fucka
Then Soulja Boy apparently replied to the first tweet with:
Do u know who the fuck I am. I?ll bring the REAL to wrestling don?t play with me. Randy Ortonnnnnnnn??????????
And Randy...replied again with:
?Crank that? came out in ?07 you had a hell of a year. Serious $. Hats off to ya my dude. Here?s the thing tho... I like rap. I bump that shit all day whether it?s tunechi, meek, JZ...but you call what I do to survive, fake? Fuck that. Come to my world and say that. Dare ya
So...yeah. Fun.
This is going to be a big one folks. I can feel it in my bones.
Randy Orton and Soulja Boy aren't just going to settle a ridiculous and stupid social media squabble. No. no. no. They are going to have a battle for the dignity of the WWE. And they are going to so this by further cementing the WWE's status as being everything pro-wrestling.
Randy and Soulja will square off in a "IT'S REAL TO ME DAMMIT!" match.
Soulja Boy will be lured to the ring in his spongebob pajamas at 4 am with false promises of candy, and then Randy Orton's music hits. But it won't be the usual theme music, that would be fucking stupid. Randy's music is now a billion dollar per play collaboration of all the greatest rap artists from the early 2000s, which also includes a verse by Soulja Boy for some odd reason.
Randy dances to the ring in mocking fashion, and Soulja Boy grips his panda doll tightly as he squints to make out the blurry image in front of him.
Suddenly, Gerald Brisco rams into Randy from behind with a golfcart. Gerald exits the golfcart, and beats Randy with a 9-iron (that was the only club he had). The referee offers Soulja Boy a tall glass of icewater with a straw, and Soulja obliges.
Randy is left beaten and bleeding, but he struggles and stands up. Suddenly, Kid Rock appears on the stage and shrieks out a ballad to his many ex-wives while Randy stumbles to the ring. Before he can enter, a man in a labcoat confronts Randy to tell him that he's Daniel Bryan's father. Randy is so happy about his news, that he squats down and does a double-somersault-backflip but accidentally lands on his neck.
Soulja Boy begins to call 911 on his James Bond inspired wrist phone, but it is snatched off of his wrist by the referee who then smashes it under his foot. Soulja Boy whimpers and tries to piece together his toy.
Randy flops on the mat outside the ring for ten minutes, but manages to drag himself into the ring. Soulja Boy had already left five minutes ago.
I think I'm ready to witness the battle of the ages. Oh yeah, it's happening.
Here's some backstory:
Soulja Boy has gone TOO FAR! It was bad enough that he managed to earn millions of dollars off of his one hit rap song, which proudly inspired all of us to dance like idiots and rap about throwing a bed sheet on a woman's back immediately after sprayed her with seminal fluid. Then he had the audacity to release the SouljaGame video game console, and he REFUSED in a VERY rude manner to allow me to test an early model.
Then he wanted to sell dishsoap!? DISHSOAP!? CLEARLY SouljaBoy wants to put the good, honest people that manufacture Dixie paper plates out of business. Fuck dishsoap. I will die on that hill.
So any-who; Soulja Boy, who was writing flippant tweets -- as people with too much money and free time are wont to do -- about how irritated he was with the rap game. He tweeted the following:
Rap game faker than WWE
Now...he said WWE. He didn't say "Enviousdominous sucks. And by the way; rap game faker than pro-wrestling".
On one hand, the WWE has truly become the official torch-bearer for all things that come to mind when we think of professional wrestling. On the other hand, I've only seen people who are involved with the WWE react angrily to Soulja Boy.
Thus spoke Randy Orton. The Viper angrily smashed his thumbs against the screen of his Galaxy S8 to tweet the following:
Fake? Dare this prick to step up. He dont like movies? Consider us actors that do stunts, without pads 200 days a year and don?t bitch when we get surgically repaired and come right back. Consider us 100 times tougher then anyone you?ve come across. Aint nuthin but a bitch ass...
To which Soulja Boy replied, no wait, Randy sent a reply to his own tweet:
Ps @sanbenito would beat the fuck outta you. Why? How? Because he?s seen our world. Respects it and knows what it takes and finds himself lucky to be a part of it. You wanna talk fake? Pawn that cheap ass chain and come work for it you one hit wonder ass mutha fucka
Then Soulja Boy apparently replied to the first tweet with:
Do u know who the fuck I am. I?ll bring the REAL to wrestling don?t play with me. Randy Ortonnnnnnnn??????????
And Randy...replied again with:
?Crank that? came out in ?07 you had a hell of a year. Serious $. Hats off to ya my dude. Here?s the thing tho... I like rap. I bump that shit all day whether it?s tunechi, meek, JZ...but you call what I do to survive, fake? Fuck that. Come to my world and say that. Dare ya
So...yeah. Fun.
This is going to be a big one folks. I can feel it in my bones.
Randy Orton and Soulja Boy aren't just going to settle a ridiculous and stupid social media squabble. No. no. no. They are going to have a battle for the dignity of the WWE. And they are going to so this by further cementing the WWE's status as being everything pro-wrestling.
Randy and Soulja will square off in a "IT'S REAL TO ME DAMMIT!" match.
Soulja Boy will be lured to the ring in his spongebob pajamas at 4 am with false promises of candy, and then Randy Orton's music hits. But it won't be the usual theme music, that would be fucking stupid. Randy's music is now a billion dollar per play collaboration of all the greatest rap artists from the early 2000s, which also includes a verse by Soulja Boy for some odd reason.
Randy dances to the ring in mocking fashion, and Soulja Boy grips his panda doll tightly as he squints to make out the blurry image in front of him.
Suddenly, Gerald Brisco rams into Randy from behind with a golfcart. Gerald exits the golfcart, and beats Randy with a 9-iron (that was the only club he had). The referee offers Soulja Boy a tall glass of icewater with a straw, and Soulja obliges.
Randy is left beaten and bleeding, but he struggles and stands up. Suddenly, Kid Rock appears on the stage and shrieks out a ballad to his many ex-wives while Randy stumbles to the ring. Before he can enter, a man in a labcoat confronts Randy to tell him that he's Daniel Bryan's father. Randy is so happy about his news, that he squats down and does a double-somersault-backflip but accidentally lands on his neck.
Soulja Boy begins to call 911 on his James Bond inspired wrist phone, but it is snatched off of his wrist by the referee who then smashes it under his foot. Soulja Boy whimpers and tries to piece together his toy.
Randy flops on the mat outside the ring for ten minutes, but manages to drag himself into the ring. Soulja Boy had already left five minutes ago.