Spidey's Snack Shack | Cult/Horror Review & Recipe Thread

[Spidey]

https://image.ibb.co/dxM3A8/Spidey.jpg

Yes, We're {OPEN} (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iypUpv9xelg)




Welcome to the diner at the edge of town, baby! I'll be your host this evening, delivering for your culinary pleasure the media that interested me enough (for better or worse) to hunt down and stock in my kitchen. I'm offering reviews served in nice bite-sized portions, easy to digest but leaves the palate wanting more. Your entree also comes with a side order - recipes I found that relate back to the shows/movies in some way. So go ahead and find yourself a booth or a table. Put a quarter in the jukebox, look over the menu, and settle in. I'll be right with you after I sharpen this knife.

All reviews are spoiler-free. The same cannot be said about the food. Chew carefully.




#1: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)


https://image.ibb.co/kJsLSy/TTCM.jpg

In Theaters: October 1, 1974


Appetizer: Billboard #1 Song At The Time

"Rock Me Gently" by Andy Kim (September 28 - October 5, 1974)




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ym3RlvVR9M

Gonna kick this off the right way with Number One. TTCM holds up impressively well for a movie that came out around the same time President Ford took over for Richard Nixon. It's best known for being a gory horror flick, often cited as setting a new standard for slasher films. You would be surprised by how much blood is in the film, however (Seriously, there's more blood in your average AMC series. Tobe Hooper does a fantastic job selling the psychological here. Implied horror is far more terrifying than buckets of that red kroovy).

Leatherface is the personification of fears and prejudices that still exist today. Many fans lambaste the decision to portray him as transgendered in later films, though I assume they forgot he was in full makeup, wigs, and kitchen apron here in the original... also seen acting as if he were the housewife of The Sawyers. I don't think it's a coincidence that he is this way right when Disco, a genre popularized by several groups including the LGBT community, took center stage. He's also shown to have a mental disability, a common staple in Horror films, true, but while an entity like Jason Voorhees is similar to a zombie killing machine, Leatherface is the subject of abuse by the other villains of the movie. This paints Leatherface in a different color than later executioner-esque monsters.

TTCM tackled a growing fear at the time: changes made by modern industry. The Sawyers are a family of slaughterhouse workers whose livelihood stemmed from handling cattle "the good old fashion way" by caving their heads in with hammers. It is mentioned sporadically that industry had changed from that practice to using a nail gun in order to be more humane. I'd argue viewers are witnessing a bit of that cultural backlash in the guise of insane killers, as they had lost their jobs to this evolution in industrial capitalism. At its core, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is about the country boys finding refuge from new technology in the most twisted of ways.

Sprinkle a little Ed Gein for flavor and a classic is born. If you're in the mood for an oldie but goodie, try this (dis)comfort food.

💀 💀 💀 💀 💀




Tonight's Special: Classic Chicken Fried Steak

AKA Country Fried Steak is believed to have been invented in Texas. It is a staple in Southern cuisine.

Also, cows.


https://image.ibb.co/c5tpLJ/Diner1.jpg


INGREDIENTS (Serves 4)

4 quarter-pound cube steaks (pre-tenderized) or round steaks
A sprinkling of salt for pre-salting the meat
2 cups of flour for breading
2 teaspoons Kosher salt for breading
1 1/2 teaspoons garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
2 eggs, beaten
1/2 cup milk
Canola oil, rice bran oil, or other high smoke point oil or fat for frying


Gravy:

3 Tbsp pan drippings
3 Tbsp flour
1/4 cup whipping cream
1 3/4 cups milk
Salt
Freshly ground black pepper


1. Pound steaks to an even thinness: If you are using round steak instead of the pre-tenderized cube steak, you will need to pound the steaks thin or they will be way too chewy. (Already tenderized cube steaks can also use some meat mallet attention to get more thin.)

Place each steak between two pieces of plastic wrap. Using a meat mallet, rubber mallet, rolling pin, or empty wine bottle, beat the steak until it is very thin, less than 1/4-inch.

As you beat the steak, you will want to turn over often, and spread out the plastic wrap which tends to wrinkle as you work.


2. Salt meat, preheat warming oven: Sprinkle a little salt over the meat. Preheat the oven to 200°F. In the oven put a wire rack over a baking sheet. This will keep the finished steaks warm and dry while you cook the gravy.


3. Dredge steaks in flour, egg, and flour again: Prepare two wide, shallow dishes such as a pyrex casserole dish. In the first whisk together the eggs and milk. In the second, whisk together the flour, salt, cayenne, and garlic powder.

Working one at a time, dredge a steak into the flour. Using the heel of your hand, press the flour into both sides of the steak.

Lift up the steak, shake off the excess flour and dip the steak into the egg wash, coating it on both sides.

Lift the steak out of the egg wash, shake off the excess egg wash, and then dredge the steak again in the flour. Again, press the flour into the steak on both sides.

Set aside on a plate. Repeat with remaining steaks.


4. Fry the steaks: Pour enough oil in a large frying to cover the bottom by 1/4-inch. Heat the oil to 350°F or when you drop a little flour into the oil it sizzles. If the oil doesn't sizzle it isn't ready, if it burns, the oil is too hot, reduce the heat.

Working one at a time, lay a flour-egg-coated steak into the hot oil. Gently shake the pan a little to wash a little hot oil on the top of the steak. Or you can use a metal spoon to spoon some of the oil over the steak. This sets the coating.

Fry until you see the edges of the steak turn golden brown, about two minutes. Carefully turn the steak over in the pan, and fry for two more minutes.

Once both sides of the steak are golden brown, tip the steak up with a metal spatula to drain the excess oil. Remove it from the pan and place if on the wire rack in the oven to keep warm. Repeat with the remaining steaks.


5. Make a roux with fat and flour: Turn off the heat of the pan. Pour out all but about 3 tablespoons of fat from the pan. Whisk in 3 tablespoons of flour and turn the heat on to medium.

Let the flour mixture cook until it's the color of milk chocolate, about 4 to 5 minutes, stirring constantly.


6. Stir in milk and cream to make gravy: When the flour fat mixture is smooth and a lovely milk chocolate color, slowly add the milk and cream, whisking constantly. Note that the mixture will seize up initially, and will loosen as you whisk in more liquid.

Add milk to your desired thickness for gravy. If the gravy is too thick for you, add more milk. If it's too thin, let it cook longer.

Season with salt to taste. Season with lots of black pepper, to taste.

Serve chicken fried steak with the gravy and a side of mashed potatoes.

[Spidey]

#2: The Legend of Billie Jean


https://image.ibb.co/nds8Ud/Billy_Jean.jpg

In Theaters: July 19, 1985

Appetizer: Billboard #1 Song At The Time


"A View To A Kill" by Duran Duran (July 13 - July 20, 1985)




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rV4UqmbzIq4


We're still representing Texas here with the lost gem that is The Legend of Billie Jean. Popular rock goddess Pat Benatar supplied the theme "Invincible" for this particular movie, and that's pretty fucking awesome (peaked at #10 on the US Billboard Hot 100 chart on September 14, 1985). Some GLOW fans will recall this song playing when Zoya the Destroya faced Liberty Bell in the Season Finale. Still, this film has kinda gone to the wayside in terms of popularity and reviews for it are uncommon. This is a shame because it's a rather interesting tale of a small incident spiraling out of control through media coverage - something all too familiar in today's world. A teenage girl from the trailer park becomes an icon for the youth gone wild via the craziest of circumstances, and the context of the story shifts from exposure = good to the toxicity of hero(ine) worship.

Sadly one thing does drag this movie down for me, and it's Yeardley Smith (voice of Lisa Simpson). Her character Putter has what I call a severe case of Scrappy Doo: small person built to be a bad ass coming off as an insufferable whiner. Throughout the movie she's there as comic relief sans jokes. She does what little bastard children do in movies - grab a bunch of candy, complain, whine about needing food aka candy, rinse and repeat. Her voice is what you imagine it to be.

You could write a college thesis on Billie Jean. The feminist symbolism is strong with her as the parallels to Joan of Arc become blatant as the movie progresses. Social aspects of the movie are pretty staggering as I eluded to previously with news media going nuts - even radio stations begin to ask her to drop by and pick up a new scooter, the plot device to the entire movie. There is a drizzle of lower class vs. the upper class mixed in as well. There's enough film theory here to fill a book, that's for sure.

It's dripping with corny nostalgia, so you gotta sip slowly. Not a very believable piece of cinema, but then again neither were the 80s. Fair is fair.

💀 💀 💀 1/2




Tonight's Special: Chocolate Malted Milkshake

Putter's insatiable appetite for sweets gives us this sugary, almost forgotten treasure of a concoction.


https://image.ibb.co/hV3RZd/2.jpg


INGREDIENTS (Serves 2-3)

2 1/2 cups chocolate ice cream
1/2 cup original flavor malted milk powder
1/2 to 1 cup whole milk

Sweetened whipped cream, for garnish
Halved malted milk balls, for garnish


1. In the container of a blender, combine the ice cream and malted milk powder.

2. Add the milk, a quarter cup at a time, blending between each addition, until the desired consistency is reached.

3. Garnish with whipped cream and malted milk balls.

[Spidey]

#3: Escape From L.A.


https://image.ibb.co/j8ZyCy/Escape.jpg

In Theaters: August 9, 1996


Appetizer: Billboard #1 Song At The Time


"Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix)" by Los Del Rio (August 3 - November 2, 1996)




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoUmyY6CQRo

This is an unpopular opinion, but after watching both films I think Escape From L.A. is a smidge more entertaining than Escape From New York. Please don't leave my diner. The soundtrack sounds better for my ears, with the original theme an oddly subdued techno medley I'd expect from a SEGA game. Escape from L.A.'s version is pure machismo smoke-all-the-cigarettes-in-the-world PLUS that earworm of a harmonica/guitar strum that features heavily in the movie (you'll know the one) is plain badass. For me the action is better, the location is utilized better, there's a stronger message being told here, and the characters are more memorable. The Duke lacks the charisma Cuervo Jones had, and Duke was played by Isaac Hayes! Admittedly I got tired of hearing "I heard you were dead" for the umpteenth time in the original too, so maybe I'm flat-out bias. Overall the sequel is a fun romp, but there are obviously some problems with it.

Like many 90s movies before, CGI hurt this flick. Where New York had practical effects and forgettable characters, L.A. is the opposite. Green Screen composites are ridiculous, the surfing scene has both the fakiest fake waves since those old 60s beach movies and the concept itself is flat out ridiculous. Many hate the basketball game presented (I am not one of those people, but I can see why some would argue it jumps the shark). It doesn't do anything wholly different than Escape From New York either. The premise is Copy + Paste. If a person watched them back to back, New York will probably be the one folks argue stands up better.

What I do get from this sequel is the story of a man struggling with a society that's fallen into two deep political chasms - the US government is an ultraconservative totalitarian with a white Christian/NWO emphasis, and L.A. is a lawless liberal playground ran by a Che Guevara dictator itself. Deeper meaning was hard for me to pick up on in the original, as it mostly came off as a linear popcorn flick with a nice aesthetic. That's not a bad thing, but having some meat helps me get into the movie more (I will review New York and see what I can do, though). There is a fair bit of satire surrounding Snake Plissken, too. Los Angeles is alive and well in the worst possible ways, between killer plastic surgeons and The Happiest Place On Earth the domain of a warlord, there are very few moments I didn't let out a chuckle and nod my head to the self-awareness. And the sequel spoofs quite a few things from New York which is great.

Sure, it is tacky with how similar it is to the original, but for this little spider it was still fairly thought-provoking. Give it a chance and try to ignore all that retreading.

�� �� ��




Tonight's Special: Western Hot Dog

This by all accounts is a Cowboy movie under the guise of a dystopic. Carpenter himself was deeply influenced by classic westerns.

And sure, New York is known for its hot dogs, but this variation still packs flavor.


https://image.ibb.co/j2pTfJ/3.jpg


INGREDIENTS (Serves 4)

1/3 cup BBQ sauce
4 all-beef hot dogs
8 slices white American cheese
¼ cup crispy cooked bacon (crumbled)
½ cup French fried onions
4 hot dog buns


Step 1: Lightly grease the grill grates of an outdoor grill. Heat the grill to medium-high heat. Place 2 tablespoons of the BBQ sauce into a small bowl and set aside.

Open the hot dog buns and placed cut-side down onto the grill. Grill for 1-2 minutes or until toasted on the bottom.

Turn the buns over and add 2 slices of cheese to each bun. Place the buns onto the warming rack of the grill or away from the heat. Keep warm.

If you are cooking on the stove, you can place them onto a baking sheet and melt the cheese in the oven.

Step 2: Place the hot dogs onto the grill and brush hot dogs with reserved BBQ sauce. Grill turning and brushing the hot dogs with BBQ sauce occasionally for about 5-9 minutes or until heated through.

Step 3: Place the grilled hot dogs into each bun, top each with about 1 tablespoon of BBQ sauce, 1 tablespoon of bacon, and 2 tablespoons of French fried onions.

[Spidey]

#4: Twin Peaks


https://image.ibb.co/dK8zny/Twin_Peaks.jpg

Premiered: April 8, 1990

Appetizer: Billboard #1 Song At The Time


"Love Will Lead You Back" by Taylor Dayne (April 7 - April 13, 1990)



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MO6xhLtfwW0

Who killed Laura Palmer? A question that plagued viewers even after the big reveal. Twin Peaks is perhaps David Lynch's most notable work outside of Eraserhead, and his own personal style is fully presented here. It's a deeply atmospheric, dreamlike show that's first season raked in a great deal of acclaim at the time. A strange mix of horror, comedy, noir and intrigue, it helped inspire other offbeat fictional worlds like Silent Hill and the modern Riverdale.

I wouldn't call this binge-worthy, as it takes its time developing character and their subplots over the big picture, but then again this show was popular at a time where shows were meant to be watched one episode at a time in the week. Plenty of time to mull things over at the water cooler. It also falls into an old soap opera aesthetic with a sappiness that isn't for everyone.

A deeper meaning is a little hard to decipher as well, but then again this is David Lynch. Explaining this show is like explaining a dream. This is the type of stuff you just have to put your seatbelt on and see where the driver takes you. Believe me, it's an unfamiliar road, and deserves a better navigator than me to tell you where we're going.

If you have some time to kill and you're looking for a unique experience, grab a cup of coffee and feast on this perplexing mystery. See you again in 25 years.

💀 💀 💀 💀 1/2



Tonight's Special: Homemade Cherry Pie

Everybody is obsessed with the cherry pie at the local diner, so it was only natural to include it.


https://image.ibb.co/hgWkSy/4.jpg


INGREDIENTS (Serves 8)

Chilled pie dough for top and bottom 9-inch pie
4 1/2 cups pitted fresh cherries, see note if using frozen or canned (2 1/2 pounds, unpitted)
1/4 cup (30 grams) cornstarch
2/3 to 3/4 cup (135 to 150 grams) sugar, adjusted accordingly to sweetness of cherries
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon almond extract
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon cold unsalted butter, cut into small squares
1 egg yolk
1 tablespoon heavy or whipping cream
Additional sugar for topping crust (coarse sugar is a nice option)


MAKE FILLING

Heat oven to 400 degrees F.

In a large bowl, stir sugar, cornstarch, vanilla extract, almond extract, lemon juice and the salt together then add cherries. Gently toss to combine. Set aside.


PREPARE AND FILL CRUST

Remove half of dough from refrigerator and let sit at room temperature for 5 minutes. On a lightly floured surface, roll out dough to a 13-inch (1/8-inch thick) circle. (Occasionally, check if dough is sticking to the surface â?? add a small amount of flour when necessary).

Check for size by inverting pie dish over dough round. Look for a 1-inch edge around the pie dish. Carefully press the dough into the dish.

Spoon cherry pie filling into pie crust. Discard most of the liquid pooled at the bottom of the bowl. Dot filling with little squares of cold butter.


TOP PIE

Roll out second half of dough then top pie. Use a knife or pair of kitchen scissors to trim dough to within 3/4-inch of the edge of the dish.

Fold edges of top crust underneath edges of bottom crust, pressing the edge to seal it so that it creates a thicker, 1/4-inch border that rests on the lip of the dish. Then, crimp edges by pressing the pointer finger of one hand against the edge of the dough from the inside of the dish while gently pressing with two knuckles of the other hand from the outside. Refrigerate dough at least 20 minutes or freeze for 5 minutes before baking.


BAKE PIE

Just before baking, make egg wash by whisking egg yolk and cream together in a small bowl. Use a pastry brush to brush over the top crust. Then, sprinkle with 1 tablespoon of sugar. Then, cut 3 to 4 slits in top of pie.

Bake for 20 minutes then reduce oven temperature to 350 degrees F and bake an additional 30 to 40 minutes longer, or until the crust is golden and the filling is thick and bubbling. Cool pie at least 2 hours, preferably 3, before cutting to allow filling to set.

Note â?? It might be helpful to bake the pie on a baking sheet covered in aluminum foil so any juices that drip over the pie dish are caught.

[Spidey]

#5: Ginger Snaps


https://image.ibb.co/jQqS7y/Snaps.jpg

In Theaters: May 11, 2001

Appetizer: Billboard #1 Song At The Time


"All For You" by Janet Jackson (April 14 - May 26 2001)



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSkb-_0Rt2k

Ginger Snaps is a Canadian horror movie that became the fifth highest grossing film nationally in December 2000 to November 2001. Perhaps the purest cult film so far in my reviews - gaining attention by positive word-of-mouth through various film festivals before that theatrical release where it was practically forgotten about. It found its fangs through DVD sales, making it popular enough to receive two sequels, one called Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed and the other Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning.

This one is definitely on my list of best late 90s, early 00s horror, and a large part is due to the execution of the film. Camerawork is champion here. The score is leering and ominous without being too much, and the mains have a wonderful chemistry. And when we get to werewolves...blue ribbon material. They even have an original look to them before the definitive lycanthrope became progressively more generic through CGI years later.

Bad parts are visible, of course. The secondary antagonist flat out sucks in a bad Buffy episode sort of way. The adult characters are campy cringe, but if you're into that then it's kind of a pleasant juxtaposition to Ginger and Bridgette, the gothy main characters. The edgeness can also be a bit to take in especially with our modern culture where that trend is mocked mercilessly online.

Not many movies can tackle teenage girls' battling with puberty and still be frightening horror flicks, but this one captures that parallel almost flawlessly. It's a savage dive filled with all kinds of satirical blood. Ginger herself is a hormonal paradox: juggling beauty with ugliness, being a loved one and a rival, etc. Her character is what gives the movie its substance; she is a feminine adolescent lashing out because of the changes her body is undergoing, and her sister is caught in the crosshairs.

A decent enough plunge if you need your alternative fix. For me, it is one of the better werewolf movies out there, with the best third act I've seen of its kind. Top that off with genuine scares here and there and it more than deserves its rating. Take a bite and tell me what you think.

💀 💀 💀 💀



Tonight's Special: Mom's Ginger Snaps

A sweet dessert that packs a little kick.


https://image.ibb.co/cut5Sy/Ginger.jpg

INGREDIENTS (Serves 36)

1 cup packed brown sugar
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup molasses
1 egg
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1/3 cup white sugar for decoration


1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).

2. In a large bowl, mix together the brown sugar, oil, molasses, and egg.

3. Combine the flour, baking soda, salt, cloves, cinnamon, and ginger; stir into the molasses mixture.

4. Roll dough into 1 1/4 inch balls. Roll each ball in white sugar before placing 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheets.

5. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes in preheated oven, or until center is firm. Cool on wire racks.

[Spidey]

#6: Darling


https://image.ibb.co/jyzu28/Darling.jpg

Initial Release: September 26, 2015

Appetizer: Billboard #1 Song At The Time


"Can't Feel My Face" by The Weeknd (September 26, 2015)



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEI4qSrkPAs


Darling is a Black & White indy psychological horror film set in a haunted house. It pays homage to the works of Lynch, Polanski, and Kubrick with an immersive style that uses a musical score to walk the viewer to the plot points. The movie received a theatrical release in New York and Toronto, Canada before going to on-demand video a week later.

Sitting at 71% Fresh, on the surface it looks like a good enough little ditty that just got lost in the shuffle of mainstream cinema. Most reviews that I could find are positive, often citing the director's ability to channel the directors I mentioned while adding an editing flair that is all his own.

I disagree with these critics. Darling comes across as a student film project more than it does an addition to the horror library it i̶m̶i̶t̶a̶t̶e̶s̶ steals from. There are splicey jumpscares used as a crutch for the paranormal. It is nauseatingly overdone. The good parts - atmosphere, lighting, and camera shots, get swallowed up by the orchestra that tries to give some kind of tension to what is playing on screen. 9/10 it's just the protagonist walking around, broadcasting no new information and somebody forgot to tell the conductor. Her backstory can be told in four words or less, making her one of the most unsympathetic mains I've seen in recent Horror. The narrative dream broke several times for me, leaving me thinking about the director more than the titular character.

Moments escaped this movie that could've been capitalized on, and that's probably what bugs me the most about Darling. Plenty of scary setups but nothing to push the button for it. While there are definitely worse Horror out there with worse scares, some of them at least can fall back on being so bad it's funny. Darling doesn't have that quality. In the end, it's a forgettable "woman going crazy in a spooky house" type of deal that has been used by many films before it with fantastic execution. You're just gonna be left confused by the time you finish it and sigh at the contrived post-credit scene. If this ol' phone is ringing, just take it off the receiver and go do something else.

💀 1/2



Tonight's Special: The Gum Underneath Your Table

Just like the plot of the movie, this little ol' wadded piece of candy used to pack flavor but after being gnawed on for so long and left to decay in my diner, it probably tastes a little wooden by now.


https://image.ibb.co/bRksN8/Gum.jpg

INGREDIENTS (Serves 15-20)

Big Red
Wrigley's Spearmint
Wrigley's Winterfresh
5 Gum - Cobalt
Bazooka
Dubble Bubble
Trident Watermelon
Trident White
Juicy Fruit


1. Remove wrapper. Carefully apply stick into your mouth.

2. Rest gum on the surface of your teeth. Begin gnashing until you experience the sensation known as taste.

3. For the next ten minutes, chew until there is no longer any flavor left and you feel yourself needing to gag.

4. Remove wad of gum from your mouth. Place your arm in the underhand position.

5. Direct the gum to the bottom carriage of the table. Once underneath, lift your hand upwards.

6. Apply enough pressure to the table so that the gum can use its adhesive properties.

7. Wait a few days after prepping your work. Go ahead and snag the gum and repeat step 2. Hey, at least it's your own gum.

[Spidey]

#7: Phantasm


https://image.ibb.co/e6NaEo/Phantasm.jpg

In Theaters: March 28, 1979

Appetizer: Billboard #1 Song At The Time


"Tragedy" by The Bee Gees (March 24 - March 31, 1979)



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSVTOMkJdqs

Phantasm is a cult horror film that spawned a franchise with Phantasm II, Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead, Phantasm IV: Oblivion, and Phantasm: Ravager. Upon initial reception it garnered mixed reviews, but on later viewings the general feel for this film was positive, with credit going to its dreamlike aesthetic and nightmare fuel.

Has quite a few good things going for it. The Tall Man is worth adding to the list of great monsters in Horror. He's visually imposing yet presented like a guy that could walk around the neighborhood and nobody suspect a thing. You will see shades of more notable horror villains after this movie was produced, so in a way I see The Tall Man as someone who inspired a few icons we know and love. The effects for the truly weird parts are fucking awesome really, giving us the low-budget yet gruesome Evil Dead-like quality. And have you ever played that movie game where you try and guess what comes next? I did, and I failed over and over again, and that's a good thing. Unpredictable horror is like finding a $20 in the parking lot. Just makes the day a teensy bit brighter.

Being an truly independent movie, all the actors are amateurs. Worst part by far, and even laughable at times. The lighting also bugged me throughout (I wasn't watching the Remastered edition). Here there be jumpscares, and lots of them, but keep in mind this wasn't all that overdone in the late 70s. Many other films like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre were playing with that fire five years before Phantasm, so it gets a pass from me.

I am of two minds about the ending of the movie. Without giving too much away, it's definitely one of the more overplayed kinds of epilogues even for the time. This conclusion is my personal bane. On the other hand, I went back and rewatched the film and yeah, it's quite brilliant the subtle bits hidden in the background here and there to give the narrative those final moments. A lot doesn't make sense unless the audience believes in the misdirections, so I'm just going to shrug my shoulders at it.

Plenty of subtext to be had here if you're looking for a topic that's not popular anymore. There once was a sub-genre of Horror movies that fixated on what strangers can do to our deceased. Fears of grave robbing were once en vogue in classics like The Body Snatcher, I Bury The Living, and yes, Plan 9 From Outer Space. Phantasm borrows from that "dead" trope in sensible fashion - through an adolescent protagonist. Phantasm pays homage to the theme while encapsulating something wholly unique on its own, even peculiar, but I'll leave that up for you to see yourself.

I don't say this often: Phantasm deserves a remake. It has plenty going for it but is bogged down by the inexperience of the actors. A lot of time has passed sense it was popular, so I don't see any reason why it shouldn't get a revival.

Don't come in trying to make sense of everything. To be fair, Horror doesn't work that way.

💀 💀 💀



Tonight's Special: Egg Custard

Inspired by all the gore in this film, which was often yellow.


https://image.ibb.co/mpO478/Custard.jpg


INGREDIENTS (Serves 6)

2 cups milk
2 eggs, beaten
1/2 white sugar
1 pinch of salt
1 dash vanilla extract
1 pinch ground nutmeg


1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).

2. Whisk milk, eggs, sugar, salt, and vanilla together in a bowl until completely combined.

3. Pour egg mixture into 6 custard cups; sprinkle tops with nutmeg.

4. Place cups in a baking pan and fill pan with enough hot water to reach halfway up the sides of the custard cups.

5. Bake in the preheated oven until custards are set, about 1 hour. Cool completely.

[Spidey]

#8: Suspiria


https://image.ibb.co/b8DSH8/Suspiria.jpg

Release Date: February 1, 1977


Appetizer: The WWE World Champion At The Time



http://www.informationng.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/wwe-legend-and-hall-of-famer-bruno-sammartino-passes-away.jpg

Bruno Sammartino

(December 10, 1973 - April 30, 1977)




Winning the title back in December of 1973, Bruno Sammartino became the first man to ever regain the WWE Championship.
This also marks the fourth longest title reign in WWE history, clocking in at almost four years. Only two men have held the championship longer than Bruno's second go around: Bob Backlund (5 years) and Hulk Hogan (4 years).
First Italian-born WWE Champion.

Suspiria is a supernatural giallo film (Italian horror) that appeals to the senses in a very distinct way. Sound and visuals are king in this piece of cinema - providing an exceptional bit of terror even when nothing wholly insane is happening. But where Darling takes a pause to play with this for no other reason than to remind us that it's supposed to be a Horror movie, Suspiria uses it as the preliminary build-up to what is coming at the character onscreen. That, and the music is memorable. Truly scary moments are abound in this ditty, sort of in the essence of Japanese horror. I say this because as an American horror fan, I am used to watching the spookshow cease to a point, allowing that breather but still in the back of my mind I think "this could have kept going" or "what if the monster xyz...". Suspiria doesn't hold back, and that's something I enjoy most about the film.

For as good as the scares are, two things did bother me when the credits rolled. One, which is small and entirely my feelings for it, is the monster reveal. Not going to spoil what it is, because in a way the film takes its time setting up that mystery, but I was underwhelmed. Now this is me and my particular interest in the subject matter, but the monster is nothing at all but fluff because...this is the second and biggest problem I had with the movie: there was a lack of motive. Sometimes it's scarier not knowing the intentions of the antagonist. I get chaos and horror go together like soulmates, but I am the sort that needs an idea for what the bigger picture is. The moral of the story, the subtext, etc. At least a reason why they're targeting the protagonist. The monster of this movie deserved more of an explanation than they're there and they're evil. Since I have no idea why the big bad of the horror film is doing what they're doing, I can't really give anything of substance here.

For what it's worth, it grabbed my attention and didn't let go until the third act. It's a beautifully vibrant, audio ringer of a Horror movie and deserves a peek.

💀 💀 💀 1/2



Tonight's Special: Pasta Salad

A total feast for the eyes, this dish is bloody colorful and, obviously, Italian. Bone at the teeth.


https://image.ibb.co/gzubXJ/Pasta.jpg

INGREDIENTS (Serves 4)

1 pound tri-colored spiral pasta
6 tablespoons salad seasoning mix
1 (16 ounce) bottle Italian-style salad dressing
2 cups cherry tomatoes, diced
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 red bell pepper, diced
1/2 yellow bell pepper, chopped
1 (2.25 ounce) can black olives, chopped


1. In a large pot of salted boiling water, cook pasta until al dente, rinse under cold water and drain.

2. Whisk together the salad spice mix and Italian dressing.

3. In a salad bowl, combine the pasta, cherry tomatoes, bell peppers and olives. Pour dressing over salad; toss and refrigerate overnight.

[Spidey]

#9: A Boy And His Dog


https://image.ibb.co/cECqSJ/ABoy_And_His_Dog.jpg

Release Date: November 14, 1975

Appetizer: Notable Events Of The Year



The Vietnam War came to an end in April.
Cost of a gallon of gasoline = .44 cents
Margaret Thatcher became the first woman leader of the British Conservative Party.
Sony introduced the Betamax videotape.
The first blockbuster movie, Jaws, released in June.
Patty Hearst became America's Most Wanted and was arrested for armed robbery that September.
Apollo and Soyuz Joint Flight marked Apollo's last modular flight in space.


With the recent passing of Harlan Ellison, I thought it'd be okay to shift around a few movie reviews and get this one done now. A Boy And His Dog is based on his narrative mythos of the same name. Some Fallout fans would be quick to tell you that it was this piece of literature that inspired the post-apocalyptic game dynasty. Set in the American Southwest, this movie is part of the public domain.

When people say inspired, I think of how Chainsaw Massacre, Silence of the Lambs, and Psycho were inspired by the murderer Ed Gein. There's enough to draw comparisons, but the films stand out as their own thing and nobody can confuse the three. After watching and reading A Boy And His Dog, one thing is clear - Fallout wasn't just inspired by the story, they stole from it. Everything you know about Fallout from vaults, wasteland motif, scavenging, 1950s paranoia, nuclear world, etc is here. Even Vic, the protagonist, calls his dog Blood "Dogmeat" at one point. But I digress.

The movie sort of sets an unfamiliar tone compared to the written work. Reading A Boy And His Dog is a disturbing, gritty endeavor that is just a hit to the gut and you'll just feel like you witnessed something you shouldn't have. The movie does touch on that horrid world a bit, but undermines it with a dark sense of humor. Blood, speaking through telepathy, exchanges barbs with Vic that are pretty funny. Of course there is social commentary in this film - not exactly about warfare or politics, but definitely the byproducts of it. Mankind has reverted back to its most basic of desires in the world, meaning Vic and Blood are chasing down two things: food and women. That's their drive, particularly the latter for Vic. It's uncomfortable to see this sort of universe play out, but I'm sure that is the point. When the bombs dropped, so did civility.

But there is something countering the lawless land, and that's the vault Vic enters. This part of the story is what really takes off for me, making the movie just okay to HOLY FUCKING NIGHTMARE FUEL. It's not scary the way boogeymen are, but you'll find yourself entering an eerie hell when getting to this place. There's a fair bit of subtext on the Truman/Ike Administration here as well, showing how society becomes a creature whether or not it is out in the wastes. Best parts of the film for sure.

Audio/Video I thought was fine and kinda nostalgic for a 1970s movie, but I did get confused with how closely the voice of Blood was to several characters in the film. Bothered me a bit. And Vic was a bit ham with how aggressive he was portrayed. On top of that, the ending to the story/movie are the same, but the atmosphere is extremely different. It's pure horror when the reader realizes what happened. Here it's played down horrendously, with a pun attached to it. Hated this take.

But for a forgotten film based on a story that was lifted for a mega popular game franchise, this wasn't a disappointing view. Toss this bad girl on the skillet and eat her right up.

💀 💀 💀



Tonight's Special: Ham and Cheese Omelet for Two

Whether it's Blood and Vic or Vic and Quilla, this breakfast is meant for two...

The movie also gets quirky with its humor. Often hammy. A bit cheesy sometimes. Just eat the damn thing.


https://image.ibb.co/cG8YEy/Omelet.jpg


INGREDIENTS (Serves...well, 2)

4 or 5 large eggs
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
Small bunch chopped chives, tarragon, or parsley
2 tablespoons (25g) unsalted butter, divided
4 ounces (110g) ham steak, diced
2 to 3 ounces (80g) grated cheddar cheese


1. Combine eggs, salt, pepper, and herbs in a medium bowl and whisk until homogeneous and frothy, about 1 minute. Allow to rest at room temperature for 10 to 15 minutes. The eggs should darken in color significantly.

2. Meanwhile, melt 1 tablespoon butter in a 10-inch nonstick skillet over medium heat, swirling, until lightly browned. Add ham and cook, stirring frequently, until it has begun to brown on the edges, about 3 minutes. Transfer ham to a small bowl, add cheese, and toss to combine. Wipe out skillet with a paper towel and return it to medium heat.

3. Add remaining 1 tablespoon butter to pan and cook until lightly browned. Re-whisk eggs until foamy, then add to skillet and cook, using a silicone spatula to push the edges in toward the center as they set and tilting the pan to spread the uncooked egg underneath. Continue pushing in the edges of the eggs and tilting the skillet, working all around the pan, until omelette is almost set, about 45 seconds.

4. Sprinkle ham and cheese over half of omelette, remove from heat, cover, and let omelette sit until it reaches the desired consistency, about 1 minute.

5. Using silicone spatula, loosen the edges of the omelette from skillet and shake skillet to ensure that it's not stuck. Carefully fold omelette in half, then slide it onto a serving plate and serve immediately.

[Spidey]

#10: Hereditary


https://image.ibb.co/cbxkzy/Hereditary.jpg

Theatrical Release: June 8, 2018

Appetizer: What Trended This Day


The Washington Capitals
Kate Upton
#NationalBestFriendDay
Anthony Bourdain
Prince



Hereditary is a supernatural Horror movie and is the widest release of any movie of A24 fame (The Witch, It Comes At Night, etc). It is currently generating positive reviews by critics but is polarizing by mainstream audience, par for the course with the studio. Compared to the likes of The Exorcist and Rosemary's Baby, I came in expecting a cautious build up to a crazy climax.

This movie can be interpreted several ways. While some may want to explore the feminine occult themes with the women who are front and center of the film (and with a twinge of irony, are a mother, maiden, and crone), others will be quick to say the opening shot of the film will teach you how to watch the entire movie. The mother is designing a dollhouse, and throughout we are reminded that this is what she is working on. I believe that in order to get the full understanding of this movie it is best to keep the mother's perspective in mind. As I watched, two branches were at play: the literal, on-the-screen contextual plot, and the sweet subtext hiding in dialogue and attitude. I walked away getting the sense that this movie was focusing on a mother coming to terms with the trans identity of a loved one. It sucks I can't get into specifics on why this is, because it is indeed spoilerific to press on, so just take my word for it here. There is an underlying theme of what a person is and what they're supposed to be, which is very important to that community.

Hereditary is a slow burn but when it gets to the heart of it all, expect fireworks. There is a focus on drama over horror - definitely more arthouse in its execution than what the average scary movie fan may want to cope with, but it's a fine enough horror film that deviates from the pratfalls of the business standards. I'd go ahead and grab a few napkins for this one.

💀 💀 💀 💀



Tonight's Special: Crispy Chicken Tenders

Charlie made clucking noises throughout the film. I have it on good authority that chicken make this sound as well.

Lol crispy.


https://image.ibb.co/dRUszy/Tenders.jpg


INGREDIENTS (Serves 7)

1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup dry bread crumbs
2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 large egg
1 cup buttermilk
1-3/4 pounds boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into strips
Oil for deep-fat frying


1. In a large resealable plastic bag, combine the first six ingredients. In a shallow bowl, whisk egg and buttermilk. Dip a few pieces of chicken at a time in buttermilk mixture, then place in bag; seal and shake to coat.

2. In an electric skillet, heat oil to 375°. Fry chicken, a few strips at a time, for 2-3 minutes on each side or until no longer pink. Drain on paper towels.

[Spidey]

#11: Logan's Run


https://image.ibb.co/jYhrCJ/Logan_039_s_Run.jpg

Theatrical Release: June 23, 1976


Appetizer: Top 10 TV Shows of 1976 + Nielson Rating


1. Happy Days (31.5)
2. Laverne & Shirley (30.9)
3. ABC Monday Night Movie (26.0)
4. M*A*S*H (25.9)
5. Charlie's Angels (25.8)
6. The Big Event (24.4)
7. The Six Million Dollar Man (24.2)
8. ABC Sunday Night Movie (23.4)
9. Baretta (23.4)
10. One Day At A Time (23.4)


Logan's Run is a 1976 dystopic sci-fi that begins as a utopic. It won a Special Academy Award for special effects, tying with the 1976 version of King Kong. Logan's Run also earned six Saturn Awards, Best Science Fiction Film, and this movie was adapted for television. This movie helped get MGM out of a debt it had at the time.

Society crumbled, now society enacts a rule to follow and that rule is questioned. It's about as basic a formula to follow from any novel. But with what little it borrows from the story, it does so in fair execution. The set pieces are by and large the most gorgeous pieces I've seen in a 70's movie, giving the movie unique shine.

Acting does range from wooden to professional, and the effects are half amazing/half shit even for the time period. This movie balances a lot, including kitsch camp with serious tone. But for my money it worked well and was a fun and often surreal clash of styles.

This is very much a take on Plato's Allegory of the Cave here, perhaps laid on too thickly. There may be a discussion on ageist and sexist film theory to this movie as well, and obviously beauty standards in society, but I don't think it makes for a long argument. It's a pretty movie with a decent plot - even if that plot has played itself out in more modern times.

An enjoyable popcorn flick where you don't have to think too hard. Sometimes that makes for a better movie than the sci-fi that tries to tackle deeper themes and stumbles.

💀 💀 💀 1/2


Tonight's Special: Red Velvet Waffles w/ Cream Cheese Glaze

Every young person has a dot on their palm that goes red when they're close to reaching 30. The white glaze is also significant, but reaching spoiler territory. Red Velvet Waffles are circular and also alleviates the burden of being 30. Eat in good health.


https://image.ibb.co/kTn56d/Red_Velvet.jpg

INGREDIENTS (Serves 4)

Waffles:

2 cups flour
1/4 cup sugar
1 tbsp plus 1 tsp baking powder
1 tbsp cocoa powder
1/2 tsp kosher salt
1 3/4 cups buttermilk
1/3 cup butter melted and cooled
2 large eggs
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp apple cider vinegar
2 tbsp red food coloring

Glaze:
4 oz cream cheese softened room temp
4 tbsp butter softened
1 1/2 cups confectioners sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup whole milk


1. Whip the cream cheese and butter together in a large bowl until smooth. Carefully whisk in the confectioners' sugar, then add the vanilla and milk. Whisk until the glaze is smooth. Set aside.

2. Whisk the flour, sugar, baking powder, cocoa and salt in a large bowl. Beat the buttermilk, melted butter, eggs, vanilla and vinegar together in separate medium bowl until smooth, then stir in the red food coloring (See Note 1). Add the buttermilk mixture to the dry ingredients and whisk until smooth.

3. Heat your waffle iron according to the manufacturers' instructions. Spray the waffle iron with nonstick cooking spray and then pour about 1 cup of the waffle batter onto the waffle grid. Close and cook until the waffle is deep red and crisp on the outside, about 3 minutes.

4. Repeat with the remaining waffle batter. Serve each waffle drizzled with the cream cheese glaze and chopped pecans (optional).

[Spidey]

#12: Orphan


https://image.ibb.co/jy5NPT/Orphan.jpg

Theatrical Release: July 24, 2009


Appetizer: #1 Song At The Time

"I Gotta Feeling" by The Black Eyed Peas



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSD4vsh1zDA

9th Anniversary for this movie in the States, and Esther was adopted when she was nine so I thought this would be a decent movie to go over next. Roger Ebert gave this film 3.5 stars out of 4, and it was nominated for a Teen Choice Awards and won an international fantasy award. This movie starred Vera Farmiga before she took the role of Lorraine Warren in the Conjuring horror franchise and Norma Bates of Bates Motel. Titular character Esther is played by Isabelle Fuhrman who would later play Clove in The Hunger Games.

This horror flick stirred up a bit of controversy with orphanages, foster care, adoption agencies, etc. throughout the United States due to the film trailer dialogue "It must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own." The line was edited out from further trailers but stayed in the film.

Orphan does tap into the fears of adoption, a wholly original premise for the time. The evil little girl was definitely played out by the time this horror rolled through cinema, but as far as acting goes, she was well executed. Everything was shot fine enough, though it stumbled quite a bit in the tropes we're all too well-versed in now. This is another spooky bit of cinema that relies on someone looking into a mirror for a jumpscare, another adult figure not believing the characters when shit is hitting the fan (I'm all for a gradual "I don't believe you anymore", but this film made an adult look like a complete idiot from the word go), and of course, kid character sings an old happy song creepily. It's not that there aren't smart characters - the kids come off very realistic in not telling anyone what's going on for a logical reason. But it just got to a point where the audience is glad the dumb character dies, and that's the worst trope of all for me.

I enjoy Horror when Horror gives me sympathetic people who may err but not blindingly, who do what anybody in their position could possibly do but still fail. Horror is tragedy with a lesson for the times. Esther does tackle fears of letting a stranger into your home, and she is a good horror monster, but she's in a universe that your average Horror fan has grown too comfortable with.

I know I berated the movie quite a bit, but for a first time view, it's not all that bad. Like I mentioned before, it's tackling an issue you don't see often. Expect your usual eye-rolling moments, but definitely stay for the plot. The twist for what it's worth is good too.

Two And A Half Cracked Skulls


Tonight's Special: Beef Stroganoff

Esther is from Russia, and dresses very traditionally. The Stroganoff dish is over a hundred years old.


https://image.ibb.co/i1ptW8/Stroganoff.jpg


INGREDIENTS (Serves 4)

1 (8 ounce) package egg noodles
1 pound ground beef
1 (10.75 ounce) can fat free condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1/2 cup sour cream
salt and pepper to taste


1. Prepare the egg noodles according to package directions and set aside.

2. In a separate large skillet over medium heat, saute the ground beef over medium heat for 5 to 10 minutes, or until browned. Drain the fat and add the soup and garlic powder. Simmer for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

3. Remove from heat and combine the meat mixture with the egg noodles. Add the sour cream, stirring well, and season with salt and pepper to taste.

[Spidey]

#13: Friday the 13th


https://image.ibb.co/dXTaio/Jason.jpg

Theatrical Release: May 9, 1980

Appetizer: #1 Song At The Time



"Call Me" by Blondie (April 19 - May 24)



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StKVS0eI85I




Friday the 13th is a slasher Horror film that spawned ten movies, a Nightmare on Elm Street crossover, and a remake. The franchise is known for having the highest body count of any one monster in cinema history; Jason Voorhees has killed approximately 146 people. It is the highest grossing Horror film franchise - making about $687.1 million. Panned on initial release, it developed something of a cult following in retrospect over decades. It was also the first movie of its kind to be distributed by a major US studio (Paramount).

I'm going to rip the band-aid off here: I am not this franchise's biggest fan. There is very little in the way of film theory and more in the way of whatever the audience wanted, they got. I think it's a fair assessment to put this right up there with the gore porn Horror became in the early 2000s - the real monster is the viewer enjoying the creative ways the characters die. Maybe there's a lesson hidden among the pile of bodies about bullying and the anti-sexy drug time conservatism made flesh, but even by 1980 these were things we were seeing in almost every slasher flick.

Not to mention the ridiculous plot development by the third act. The chain of events in the last ten minutes of the film are way over the top, and the audience is given so much information in so little time it feels like they cut an hour of exposition out. The jumpscare, while being fantastic, makes no sense in the world it happens in. I get that we're left wondering if she really saw Jason, but since this is a lucrative series, that question answers itself. The infamous Snake Scene is also heartbreaking and had no reason to be in the film.

I will give credit where it is due. When I think great Horror movie settings, this one is right up there at the top. Atmospheric and surprisingly well-lit, the kills were done in sweet shlock makeup, and while the actors had terrible "scream" moments, outside of dying they were decently casted. The only thing I wasn't a big fan execution-wise was the camera work. Where a movie like Halloween keeps me immersed even when the camera has to play both the stalking killer and a regular camera shot, Friday the 13th had scenes that had the camera toggling like the killer but of course it couldn't possibly be them. It made me focus on the camera and that's the last thing a movie should do.

Sure I may not be a big fan, but I watch a lot of Horror and that can get in the way of an okay spookshow. It's an easy flick to keep up with set in a great location. Glide through the tropes and remind yourself why you don't go camping more often.

💀 💀 💀



Tonight's Special: Smores Bars

Smores are a classic staple of camp-goers everywhere. Here they are made for immediately travel, just in case you need to get away from somebody.


https://image.ibb.co/iovwOo/smores.jpg


INGREDIENTS (Serves 16)

1⁄2 cup butter, softened
3⁄4 cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1⁄3 cups flour
3⁄4 cup graham cracker crumbs
1 teaspoon baking powder
1⁄4 teaspoon salt
4 (1 5/8 ounce) milk chocolate candy bars
3 cups miniature marshmallows


1. Heat oven to 350ºF. Grease an 8 inch square baking pan.

2. Beat butter and sugar together until well blended in a large bowl. Add egg and vanilla; beat well.

3. In another bowl stir together flour, graham cracker crumbs, baking powder, and salt. Add to butter mixture, beating until blended.

4. Press half the dough into the prepared pan. Bake 15 minutes.

5 Unwrap chocolate bars; arrange over baked layer. They may not quite all fit, you may be forced to eat a couple pieces. Sprinkle with marshmallows. Scatter remaining dough over the marshmallows, forming a top layer.

6 Bake 10- 15 minutes or until just lightly browned. Cool compleletly before cutting.

[Spidey]

#14: Dead End Drive-Inn


https://image.ibb.co/byWbw8/deadend.jpg

Theatrical Release: August 22, 1986


Appetizer: The WWE World Champion At The Time


https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Uuku4pLoCuE/Vzsk3FNgbXI/AAAAAAAAQGg/unjenSYOvWIXJfh49lOa-nNpyVLaxOpaQCLcB/s1600/hulkster.png

Hulk Hogan

(January 23, 1984 - February 5, 1988)


This was Hulk Hogan's first reign as champion.
The last time the title was won in a contested match on a house show. Diesel ended the practice in 8 seconds against Bob Backlund.
Recognized as the 10th title exchange.


Dead End Drive-Inn is an action Ozploitation film set in a dystopia-within-a-dystopia. It holds a very familiar Mad Max feel with car fetishism and a crazed society putting focus on the fashions of the late 80s. While reviews are mixed, it was nominated for Best Production Design at that year's AFI Awards. Quentin Tarantino cited this movie's director, Brian Trenchard-Smith, as one of his favorite directors with this being the best of his work.

It's a rare day when I consider any movie a "hidden gem", but this one definitely takes that mantle. It's apocalyptic without all the broodiness prevalent in its Hollywood equivalents. The social commentary surprised me, ranging from the contemporary debate of freedom vs. security to the regression and indoctrination into white nationalism - historically accurate in the anti-emigration values of the White Australia policy in the early/mid 20th century. There is also a discussion on government-applied poverty to be had that echoes the ghettos and other racially set communities that still exist today. The satire is so well done you could cut it with a fork.

I wouldn't call these the low points, but a case can be made. The setting is more eye-candy than practical, and so is the plot to tell the truth. Whether or not the main protag is jogging around the block or within the perimeter of his enclosure, he isn't as cautious as this new world would call for.

If you're wanting something like Mad Max with a more colorful populace, Dead End Drive-Inn should whet your appetite. Welcome back to the 80s and take one of these meal tickets with you. I hope you enjoy your stay.

💀 💀 💀 💀


Tonight's Special: Banana Fritters

Carmen can only have it when the movie is on.


https://image.ibb.co/hTAJR8/Fritters.jpg



INGREDIENTS (Serves 6)

1/2 cup of milk
2 bananas, mashed
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 teaspoons baking powder
2 eggs, beaten
1 tablespoon margarine, melted
1 quart vegetable oil for frying
1/2 cup of confectioners' sugar


1. In a mixing bowl, combine the milk and bananas. Sift in the flour, salt, and baking powder. Thoroughly mix in the eggs and margarine.

2. Heat the oil in a large skillet to 365 degrees F (180 degrees C).

3. Carefully place spoonfuls of the mixture into the hot oil and fry until brown. Flip the fritter and continue to brown. Remove fritters from the oil and drain on paper towels. Dust the fritters with confectioners' sugar and serve while warm.

[Spidey]

#15: The Domestics


https://image.ibb.co/fHDAAe/Domestics.jpg

Theatrical Release: July 28, 2018

Appetizer: Top 10 TV Shows (July 23-29) + Nielsen Rating


1. America's Got Talent (11.3)
2. MLB All-Star Game (8.7)
3. 60 Minutes (7.6)
4. The Bachelorette (6.3)
5. The Big Bang Theory (6.0)
6. Celebrity Family Feud (6.0)
7. World of Dance (5.8)
8. Young Sheldon (5.5)
9. NCIS (5.4)
10. Code Black (5.3)


The Domestics is an American post apocalyptic Horror film starring Kate Bosworth and Tyler Hoechlin. Rotten Tomatoes has no official score for this movie yet, but it has been three reviews and they lean positive. No official Metacritic score either, but IMDb does give the film 5.7/10. The story is about a man named Tyler trying to patch up his marriage to Kate while driving to Milwaukee during the end times. Wisconsin is now divided up by gangs: The Gamblers - gang symbol is the Illuminati triangle + antlers. A Two-Faced obsession with giving their captives chances in life and death scenarios. The Plowboys - sex slavers with a redneck motif. The Cherries - women liberators seen as "man haters". The Sheets - deadly scavengers that wear bed sheets akin to Halloween ghost costumes. The Domestics - normal people trying to live in a messed up world.

Costume work deserves an A+. It wasn't "so silly it's unbelievable" and neither was it "so bland I forgot the world ended". Minor characters that plague an apocalypse should have some eccentric qualities, and the ones in The Domestics achieved that. Several were fun and interesting people. The gangs gave it that vibe I can only remember getting in films like The Warriors and A Clockwork Orange.

Where the film loses me is in its frequent tug-of-war with establishing an identity. There isn't enough humor for me to put this in the same boat as A Boy and His Dog, but neither is this a serious romp in the wastelands like The Road. Yet it shares all the tropes that lie within each. Finding a mood for this movie is harder than traveling a lawless Wisconsin. There is also unusual coincidences and a fair slap of deus ex machina that frustrated the hell out of me. I think this movie was looking for its own personality, but in that journey they came empty-handed. Its doomsday porn with a great budget, but any deeper meaning outside of the struggles of marriage and the usual "our government fucked us ergo apocalypse" is hard to be had. It's a B film that takes itself just serious enough to trick people into watching a B film, and while I see the genius in its style, the plot itself is a little thin for me to want to watch it again.

I liked that the catalyst for the end of the world was kept vague, with a multitude of reasons for it happening but nothing really touched on. But there was one visual that stood out that deserved more of an explanation. I'll leave curious minds to see what that is. Probably the most disappointing trigger I've seen for a disaster.

Whoever wants to see a Purge/Fallout crossover, you'll probably get your fill here. Sit tight while I turn the radio over to my boy, Crazy Al.

💀 💀


Tonight's Special: Wisconsin Butter-Basted Burger

There aren't any cows outside because we have 'em imported, duh...


https://image.ibb.co/gjsHQe/burger.jpg

INGREDIENTS (Serves 4)

1 pound lean ground beef (90% lean)
1/2 teaspoon seasoned salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
8 ounces medium fresh mushrooms
2 tablespoons plus 4 teaspoons butter, divided
4 hamburger buns, split
Optional toppings: tomato slices, lettuce leaves, dill pickle slices, ketchup and mustard


1. Sprinkle ground beef with seasoned salt and pepper. Pulse mushrooms in a food processor until finely chopped. Add to seasoned beef, mixing lightly but thoroughly. Shape into four 1/2-in.-thick patties.

2. In a large skillet, heat 2 tablespoons butter over medium heat. Add burgers; cook 6-8 minutes on each side, basting with butter, until a thermometer reads 160°. Remove from heat; keep warm. Add bun tops to skillet; toast until golden brown.

3. Transfer burgers to bun bottoms. Top each with 1 teaspoon butter. Replace bun tops. Serve with toppings.

[Spidey]

https://image.ibb.co/nHJPbK/tnt.jpg

After the next two meals are served, The Snack Shack will be reserved. Hey that kinda rhymes. Don't worry your fuzzy little heads though, faithful patrons - just like good things come to those who wait, good things also come in threes. Hurry back, visitor...

[Yaz]

That is a new way to make butter burgers. I am gonna try that. Hope the next project is as fun a read as this one you handsome arachnid bastard.

[Spidey]

#16: Jennifer's Body


https://image.ibb.co/cX9tMK/Jennifer.jpg

Theatrical Release: September 18, 2009


Appetizer: Other Movies That Released The Same Day



Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs
The Informant!
Love Happens
Blind Date
The Burning Plain
Paris
Fuel
Disgrace
Pretty Ugly People



Jennifer's Body is a supernatural black horror comedy starring Megan Fox as the titular character and Amanda Seyfried as the protagonist. It was written by Diablo Cody, who also wrote the script for Juno and Burlesque. Sort of in the same spirit as Ginger Snaps, a teenager goes through a monstrous metamorphosis - but this time the woman died in a virgin sacrifice while not being a virgin, therefore she becomes a demon. Her friend Needy is who the audience follows for most of the movie, and she obviously harbors some romantic feelings for Jennifer that she's not too clear about.

I watched this film in my teens, and I absolutely hated it. Back then, it was too cheesy and not scary/funny to me. I expected Ginger Snaps or Carrie but instead got another late millennial teen shlock film. I came in with high expectations because it was the first movie I saw Megan Fox in and everybody was obsessed with her at the time.

Looking back on it now, I was too harsh judging this flick. Sure, the plot is goofy, the scary bits probably wouldn't scare a child and the humor is severely hit or miss, but I get that it was trying to be different, and succeeds. It has more in common with Heathers than it does with The Ring. The dialogue is great and really drives the movie (even though the jargon is outdated. Ex. "salty" isn't today's "salty").

Jennifer represents the Id to Needy, someone completely comfortable with who they are while Needy harbors a repressed sexuality that hints at a budding gay identity. I don't think it's capitalized on particularly well, 2009 still treated this like lesbian pollen, so the subtext may be more plot convenience/fan service than I care to admit. But it is still worth mentioning. Side note: The Devil's Kettle is a great horror movie location.

There is also the downward spiral of narcissism in a time before selfies. Jennifer doesn't technically kill because of a newfound animalistic nature like Ginger, but because it makes her pretty. And when she goes without murder, she is seen as slightly less attractive, or as Needy points out at one point, "ugly for her".

It's missing "Jennifer's Body" by Hole and that's unforgivable. Seriously, they went with "Violet" but not that apt grunge hit? For shame.

Dig into something that's so bad it is not so bad. That probably only made sense in my head.


💀 💀 1/2



Tonight's Special: Pan-Seared Shrimp Po' Boy

"She's eating boys!"


http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yk7xA9SZqx8/SnWz679RsHI/AAAAAAAAATw/xZ-JWfZ3Njg/s400/DSC01596.JPG

INGREDIENTS (Serves 4)

1/3 cup reduced-fat mayonnaise
2 tablespoons sweet pickle relish
1 tablespoon chopped shallots
1 teaspoon capers, chopped
1/4 teaspoon hot pepper sauce (such as Tabasco)
1 pound peeled and deveined large shrimp
1 1/2 teaspoons salt-free Cajun seasoning
2 teaspoons olive oil
4 (2 1/2-ounce) hoagie rolls
1/2 cup shredded romaine lettuce
8 thin tomato slices
4 thin red onion slices

1. Combine first 5 ingredients in a small bowl. Heat a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Combine shrimp and Cajun seasoning in a bowl; toss well. Add olive oil to pan, and swirl to coat. Add shrimp to pan; cook 2 minutes on each side or until done.

2. Cut each roll in half horizontally. Top bottom half of each roll with 2 tablespoons lettuce, 2 tomato slices, 1 onion slice, and one quarter of shrimp. Spread top half of each roll with about 2 tablespoons mayonnaise mixture; place on top of sandwich.

3. Carrot and cabbage slaw: Combine 4 cups shredded green cabbage and 1 cup shredded carrot in a large bowl. Combine 3 tablespoons reduced-fat mayonnaise, 1 tablespoon cider vinegar, and 1/4 teaspoon celery seeds in a small bowl. Add mayonnaise mixture to cabbage mixture; stir well.

[Spidey]

#17: The Bye Bye Man


https://image.ibb.co/b0LzBK/BBM.jpg

Release Date: January 13, 2017

Appetizer: Fairly Popular Horror Movies Released In January


Cloverfield
Final Destination 2
From Dusk Til Dawn
Hostel
My Bloody Valentine 3D
The Mothman Prophecies
Tremors
Warm Bodies


The Bye Bye Man is a supernatural Horror film based on a chapter of Robert Damon Schneck's non-fiction book The President's Vampire from the chapter "The Bridge to Body Island". It's an allegedly true story about an albino serial killer who hopped trains and haunted any Wisconsinites who were talking about him or even thinking about him. The movie made 22.4 million in America alone, making more than three times its production budget. It finished above expectations at #4 in the Box Office that month.

I saw this movie in theaters because the trailer really caught my attention. Some entity that manifests virally through the power of thought? Even though I had reservations about the name of the title, I was naive and thought hey, new Horror icon. Haven't had one of those in a while. I'll bite.

Let me take a moment here to step away from this review and explain my rating system. I'm sure some of you look at Jennifer's Body or any other meh film featured and wanna ask "Hey Spidey, you're being a little gracious with these skulls. This movie was bad. Do you even know what you're doing?" Short answer is no, I don't know what I'm doing. None of us know what we are doing. Long answer is yes, my ratings stand because even if I don't wholly like the plot or think the acting is shit and the characters are abysmal, maybe there's something memorable there or at least a thing that entertained me. Sometimes it's so bad it's good. Other times it's just good old campy fun. Something that redeemable so I don't feel like I wasted my time.

This movie was not fun. It was not entertaining. It was not good. There is no redemption.

The mythos, the actual selling point of this fucking movie, is a stitched together abomination stolen from other monster movies that never escaped post-production. Guy has a hellhound, rides a train hobo-style, coins, etc and if you're looking for a hint of an explanation well it's not happening. Michael Myers may not have been forthcoming with why he was doing what he did, but we knew who he was in Halloween. The Bye Bye Man had interesting features about him but without a story behind those features it doesn't matter. "He's like the Grim Reaper" just doesn't cut it anymore.

Characters, especially the stupid psychic, are one-dimensional and not even in the classic "which slasher victim are they" way. Editing gave me a headache, the infamous tagline is uttered so much it loses meaning, and I totally believe with how this movie ended they are expecting to make this a franchise. Just...goddamn. Jumpscares aren't scary more than they are slightly annoying too. CGI was a mess to top it all off. Toss this dud in with the other half-assed PG-13 flicks, my dude.

The greatest tragedy for me is that the first few minutes of the film I thought were fantastic (albeit lighting was a tad overexposed). If the movie abandoned the modern day stuff and was about some suburban white guy going postal in a late 60s/early 70s period piece, fuck yeah sign me up for that. Got goosebumps already.

There was an idea here that could have been fleshed out with a few rewrites. Ah well. Oh, you wanted something to eat?

💀


Tonight's Special: The Nothing Burger

What I got out of it. Wash your hands before and after you eat this aerated morsel.


https://image.ibb.co/efh1Qe/BURGER.jpg


INGREDIENTS (Serves ∞)













1.



2.




3.

[Spidey]

https://image.ibb.co/mBvrVe/reserved.jpg

Greetings patrons! The next three reviews will be treated as a trilogy special, so I'm gonna have to ask you folks to make some room for our little season finale here. Don't worry - we'll be up and running again soon, just gonna need some time to clean up the blood...

For real though, I'm taking a small break with school starting back up. I'll still be around, and I may sling some goodies this way, but they won't be at Spidey speed. This will also give me some more time to focus on my other pet project: Rope Break TV. Some of you guys may be hungry for that. Anyways, this has been a killer ride and I'm thankful to see the views it's getting. I've always been partial to The Writing Gallery and hope to provide more stuff you readers can sink your teeth into.

Even though I won't be visiting the pantry as often, I still check the mailbox. If you have any questions or comments, please drop them off here for me. I love hearing from you. Maybe you'd like to know how I scale my reviews with the skulls. Maybe you have a special request you'd like me to watch. Whatever it is, please make yourself comfortable at one of our many booths. I'll be right with you.

The tables, unfortunately, will be occupied. Until next time, diners.

[Spidey]

#18, 19, & 20: The Neon Trilogy

Special Reservation Via Invitation. ������




https://image.ibb.co/fkLLJz/The_Neon_Trilogy.jpg


Appetizer: Director's Filmography

1996 - Pusher
1999 - Bleeder
2003 - Fear X
2004 - Pusher II
2005 - Pusher 3
2008 - Bronson
2009 - Valhalla Rising
2011 - Drive
2013 - Only God Forgives
2016 - The Neon Demon







https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBiOF3y1W0Y


Let's kick this trilogy off the right way by discussing the neo-crime film Drive. When it first came out, it made a lot of people angry in theaters because the trailer made it seem like a popcorn action flick. It isn't. Far from it really. But that bait-and-switch pays off with a linear story executed fantastically. This is Ryan Gosling at his best - a broody yet caring protagonist who is swallowed up by the criminal waters of Los Angeles. A stuntman turned getaway driver smacks of B movie fun, but there are so many additional elements to this it makes my head spin.

The music, while jarring at first, is icing on the cake in what is obviously aiding the movie in paying homage to what we like about the 80s. Lighting gives this (and the rest of his work) a cool synthwave vibe to them and since I love that kind of music, this gets brownie points from me.

It's a simple tale of doing right by doing wrong. There may be a bit more patience required for the juicy bits, but that makes it all the better for me. Don't expect explosions, but there will definitely be blood.

�� �� �� �� ��





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cipOTUO0CmU


Next I want to briefly examine The Neon Demon. I watched this with a few friends and by the end they were emotional wrecks. SO of course I loved this film. The characters were way more lively than they were in the other two, and I can see why most label this one Horror, but for me it wasn't really Horror. It was a drama with horror undertones followed by a hell raising third act. Sort of in the same sense Hereditary is, where it's not apparent you'll get gruesome, but oh you will.

I noticed by this movie that Refn has a thing for pacing. It's unconventional and requires the audience to stay with the character even if what they're doing isn't exciting. He holds on to a shot, and it gives the film a dreamlike essence.

Fine enough film for arthouse horror. It isn't grip-you-by-the-balls terrifying, but it does something different with a archetype we've seen a hundred times plastered on billboards and magazines. Fair bit of fashion industry critique also makes this a pleasant ride with an unpleasant detour.

�� �� �� 1/2






Only God Forgives

(We can only have 2 videos per message. The trailer is in URL format.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhRKlwr1-KM]https://theplaylist.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/only-god-forgives-ryan-gosling-14.jpg


And that brings us to Only God Forgives. This movie is the odd-man out. For half of it I was getting a hard David Lynch-vibe (right? Not from the dark supermodel nightmare but THIS one), with several moments reminding me of Blue Velvet. Gosling is still the quiet brooding protagonist, but this time there seems to be focus on him standing or sitting around compared to Drive, and no gentler side to fall back on. Gosling spends a third of the movie just staring at hookers. At least in the car flick the setting was visually stimulating and the music made you pay attention. While the set pieces and lighting were gorgeous here, it never really offered anything narrative-wise. Dialogue was also so flat and uninspiring it had to remind the viewers "Hey, Ryan is going to kill someone, we promise, this is a revenge story, just wait some more."

When people use the phrase "all style and no substance", this movie comes to mind for me. Count all the scenes that play with orange and blue colors. Make a damn drinking game of it.

I will give Refn and this movie in particular its props - stylistically it's a treat. Characterization with focus on what the cast is doing, wearing, etc. is superb, practically Tarantinoesque. When we finally, finally get around to violence, it goes above and beyond the other two films. Nobody is relatable in this movie but at least their blood is the same as ours.

If you haven't seen any of these but want to go on the journey, I'd start with this course first to get it out of the way.

�� ��



My Overall Take

There is one word that describes Refn, and it's aesthetic. Like Wes Anderson and Hitchcock, it's easy to pick up on who it is that's directing the movie. That's the mark of a true film auteur. His worlds are pretty but also seedy, full of bittersweet vengeance and understated lines. It is insane to know that this director is also colorblind, because when it comes to lighting and color choice, he is a champion. Old Hollywood meets millennial flavors in these films, and it's well worth price of admission let me tell you. Subdued until it can't be anymore, this kinda sorta trilogy is a thinking man's action movie gauntlet. Be prepared to shift in your seat and soak in the purple and pink spectacle.




Tonight's Special: Grilled Fish Tacos (Seal of Approval)

A colorful as well as appetizing snack for your movie going purposes, this recipe is a favorite of mine for those pleasant summer evenings.


https://image.ibb.co/ctyTgU/Taco.jpg


INGREDIENTS (Serves 6)

Adobo-Rubbed Fish

4 teaspoons chili powder, preferably made with New Mexico or ancho chiles
2 tablespoons lime juice
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
2 pounds mahi-mahi or Pacific halibut, 1/2- 3/4 inch thick, skinned and cut into 4 portions

Coleslaw
1/4 cup reduced-fat sour cream¼ cup low-fat mayonnaise
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
1 teaspoon lime zest
2 tablespoons lime juice
1 teaspoon sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt
Freshly ground pepper to taste
3 cups finely shredded red or green cabbage
12 corn tortillas, warmed


1. To prepare fish: Combine chili powder, lime juice, oil, cumin, onion powder, garlic powder, salt and pepper in a small bowl. Rub adobo rub all over fish. Let stand 20 to 30 minutes for the fish to absorb the flavor.

2. To prepare coleslaw: Combine sour cream, mayonnaise, cilantro, lime zest, lime juice, sugar, salt and pepper in a medium bowl; mix until smooth and creamy. Add cabbage and toss to combine. Refrigerate until ready to use.

3. Preheat grill to medium-high.

4. Oil the grill rack or use a grilling basket. Grill the fish until it is cooked through and easily flakes with a fork, 3 to 5 minutes per side. Transfer the fish to a platter and separate into large chunks.

5. Serve the tacos family-style by passing the fish, tortillas, coleslaw and taco garnishes separately.

[Spidey]

Goddammit with edits screwing up my beautiful skulls

Drive: 💀 💀 💀 💀 💀

The Neon Demon: 💀 💀 💀 1/2

Only God Forgives: 💀 💀


There will be a full list of the movies and their skulls at another time. I'll have them in order of best to worst, with skulls of equal value categorized by whichever one I favor most.

Been a fun ride. Will start back up again at a later time. If any of you have questions or comments, hit me up. I'd be happy to chat here.

Bon appetit!

[Spidey]

My Overall Enjoyment:

💀 💀 💀 💀 💀 - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
💀 💀 💀 💀 💀 - Drive
💀 💀 💀 💀 1/2 - Twin Peaks
💀 💀 💀 💀 - Ginger Snaps
💀 💀 💀 💀 - Hereditary
💀 💀 💀 💀 - Dead End Drive-In
💀 💀 💀 1/2 - Suspiria
💀 💀 💀 1/2 - The Legend of Billie Jean
💀 💀 💀 1/2 - The Neon Demon
💀 💀 💀 1/2 - Logan's Run
💀 💀 💀 - Phantasm
💀 💀 💀 - Escape From LA
💀 💀 💀 - A Boy And His Dog
💀 💀 💀 - Friday The 13th (1980)
💀 💀 1/2 - Jennifer's Body
💀 💀 1/2 - Orphan
💀 💀 - The Domestics
💀 💀 - Only God Forgives
💀 1/2 - Darling
💀 - The Bye Bye Man

[Spidey]

https://image.ibb.co/cvmSsK/MYERSMEME.jpg

[nightmare]

I hope you have seen Mandy. Its.... intense.

[Spidey]

Haven't seen it but I've heard it's a "holy shit" flick, so it's on the list.

Placing this here as a reminder for movies to check out next:

Dead Alive

Mandy


The Diner Is Open To Requests

[Spidey]

#21: Halloween (1978)


https://image.ibb.co/h26LDe/Halloween.jpg

Opening Date: October 27, 1978

Appetizer: US Billboards Top Song At The Time



"Hot Child In The City" by Nick Glider (October 22 - November 3, 1978)



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d02k10Bz6ro



Halloween is an American slasher film with one remake, seven vanilla sequels, and two remake sequels. Written and scored by John Carpenter, it made $47,000,000 at the box office in the US and 23 million internationally, becoming one of the most profitable independent films of all time. Touted as one of the best horror movies ever made, it is currently getting a reprisal this October so I figured I'd check it out again and see if it holds up.

The first thing we are treated to is that score of Carpenter's, and it's still has that looming presence about it - synonymous with Michael Myers. To put it bluntly, it is unforgettable. Even if you never seen a Halloween movie, odds are you know it. That gets an A+ in my books.

But what about the plot/characters/acting/etc? Well, one thing that I really like about this movie is the jumpscares. Weird, I know, but there really was an art to them once upon a time. Like when Laurie doesn't look where she's going and runs into a guy...there's no loud shrieking music. It does play a ditty when Myers arrives, but that's not bad in this case. The film doesn't lie to us, and that's commendable. As far as plot goes...eh honestly it's an average story, but then again Carpenter has said Michael Myers was inspired by the old campfire horror tale about an escaped mental patient. This was never meant to be revolutionary. This flick has also been lampooned, parodied, etc to death. You know where it's going even if you've never seen it, but that is mostly because this movie is so well-known that it's been ingrained in many of our minds. Just because you know The Wizard of Oz doesn't mean you can't enjoy it, right? Well, there are a tiny details here I didn't think I'd see, like the pure virginal archetype Laurie Strode smoking pot. That was cool.

Best part for me is the film theory/analysis. I'm not going to say anything unique here I'm sure (this film has been done ad nauseum, google it), but it still bears mentioning. This is a new twist on horror location. Usually horror movies up until now were set in places you'd expect horror, because of the unknown variable (slaughterhouses, hotels, woods, the sea, foreign lands, etc). This movie hits close to home, because it all takes place in the suburbs. We all know this locale as that safe place where nothing bad really happens. That's why you see characters keeping their doors unlocked or even open - this was considered normal once. It's not "the bad side of town" nor is it "where the poor live". It's white bread America, so of course it births a slasher icon. It's what these Middle Class folk don't see that's gonna get them. Monsters can and will come from anywhere so lock your fucking doors.

Also worth noting that nowhere in this film is there a connection to Laurie Strode and Michael Myers. Later films picked up her being adopted. This made the original much more engaging as I thought "wait when will they establish that important information?" and they don't. Myers is trying to kill her because she was with the other girls walking on the sidewalk. That's it. That's all it took.

Death scenes were fine-to-fuck that was more graphic than I recall . Scenes gave new info each time (even "How'd Michael even learn to drive?" was brought up), and the characters were likable, even the victims, which became sorely missing in future slashers. Not once did I think they deserved to die. Pacing was better than I remembered, building to a proper climax. Yeah, this is a roundabout way of saying yes, after 40 years this scary movie has remained scary. Even the acting wasn't as bad as I remembered it to be.

So go ahead and pull up a chair while I toss this baby in the oven. Oh. Oh no.

💀 💀 💀 💀 💀



Tonight's Special: Classic Meatloaf

It may not be originally American, but it has found its place at many a dinner table over here. A staple of comfort food, we can't go wrong with the simple classic.


https://image.ibb.co/c8DWmz/Meatloaf.jpg


INGREDIENTS (Serves approx. 10)

1 lb. 90% lean ground beef
1 cup dried bread crumbs
1/2 cup diced yellow onion
1/2 cup milk
1 large egg beaten
2 tbsp. ketchup
1 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp. dried parsley leaves
3/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 tsp. ground black pepper


Topping:

1/4 cup ketchup
2 tbsp. packed light brown sugar
1 tbsp. red wine vinegar



1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

2. In a large bowl, add the beef, bread crumbs, onion, milk, egg, 2 tablespoons ketchup, worcestershire sauce, parsley, salt, garlic powder, and pepper. Use your hands to mush and mix these ingredients together until well combined.*

3. Add the meat mixture to a loaf pan. Pat the meat down into an even layer.

4. In a small bowl, add 1/4 cup ketchup, the brown sugar, and vinegar. Stir to combine. Pour the sauce on top of the meatloaf and spread it into an even layer.

5. Bake uncovered for 55 minutes.

6. Let the meatloaf rest for 8-10 minutes before serving (or it may fall apart).

[Spidey]

#22: Mandy


https://image.ibb.co/fioxD0/MAndy.jpg

Theatrical Release: September 14, 2018

Appetizer: Other Movies That Were Released The Same Day


The Predator
Unbroken: Path to Redemption
A Simple Favor
White Boy Rick
Final Score
MDMA


Mandy is an action horror film set in 1983. Receiving positive reviews from Sundance and overall critical acclaim, Rotten Tomatoes gave it 93% Fresh and IMDB places it at 6.8/10. It's a revenge story where Nicholas Cage hunts down a hippie cult. It is also the last movie famed Icelandic composer Johan Johannsson (The Theory of Everything, Sicario, Mother!) worked on, deserving a posthumous end credit. This review is a too-go order for one nightmare.

First thing's first - Nicholas Cage is completely in his element here. It's a crazed, drug-fueled guitar solo of a film, and it's totally 80s eye candy. The mood is melancholic, with vibrant strokes of pulsating red, blue, and purples like it would be at any swanky nightclub. Visual effects were ace. Acting in general is well done, lighting is A+, capturing much of the fantastical atmosphere we see in hair metal album covers.

The end scene is a touch confusing though I think, and it does leave the audience wondering what it was they were really watching. For me it doesn't matter how real any of it was. This movie is very much a love letter to the 80s, specifically all the trippy sci-fi/fantasty novels that were popular at the time. There are three chapters to the film that I recall, "The Shadow Mountains", "The Children of the New Dawn", and "Mandy" which sound either like books or song titles of that time. Mandy herself is an artist, drawing and painting some of the more iconic symbols like tigers, moons, etc. She is also seen reading a high fantasy novel called Seeker of the Serpent's Eye throughout the movie. The ending does a good job tossing the viewer's beliefs in a tailspin with "is this fantasy? NO, it's real...wait it's..." and honestly, it works. The universe the story takes place doesn't break its own rules with the flip-flopping and that is quite a feat, really.

Grab an axe and a demon's bike 'cause you're in for a ride with this one. But before you go, have something from the Snack Shack on us.

💀 💀 💀 💀 1/2



Tonight's Special: Baked Mac And Cheese

The hippies are baked. The drug peddler is baked. Cage is baked. Everyone is seeing moons, man.

Cheddar Goblin: It's Gobblin' Good!


https://image.ibb.co/gnDTqf/Mac.jpg


INGREDIENTS (Serves 12)

1 pound elbow macaroni
1/2 cup unsalted butter
1/2 cup flour
2 teaspoons powdered mustard
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon paprika
6 cups milk
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon coarse ground black pepper
1 large egg
4 ounces Monterey jack cheese
4 ounces mozzarella
12 ounces sharp cheddar divided


1. Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees.

2. Shred the cheeses, keeping 2 cups of the cheddar off to the side for the topping.

3. Cook the pasta two minutes shy of the instructions, rinse and let cool. (We don't want the extra starch of the water making the mac and cheese too thick)

4. Add the butter to a large stockpot and melt on medium-low heat.

5. Add the flour, mustard, cayenne and paprika and whisk together until fully combined, cook for an additional 15 seconds.

6. Add the milk slowly while whisking to keep the mixture well combined.

7. Add in the salt and pepper and cook for an additional 5 minutes.

8. Turn off the heat.

9. Remove 1 cup of the milk mixture and let cool for a 3-5 minutes in the refrigerator in a larger glass measuring cup or bowl.

10. Add the egg to the cooled milk and whisk it well until fully combined.

11. Turn the heat on the pot back on to medium-low.

12. Slowly pour the egg and milk mixture into the rest of the milk while whisking very well.

13. Add in the Monterey jack, mozzarella and 1 cup of the sharp cheddar and whisk until combined.

14. Add the cooled macaroni back into the pot and toss with the cheese sauce.

15. Pour into a 9x13 baking dish and top with the remaining 2 cups of shredded cheddar cheese.

16. Bake for 30 minutes, uncovered.

[Spidey]

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/4b/9d/f6/4b9df602a64173393180b2f89d5f2313.jpg

From our web to yours, Happy Halloween!








https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGoj3cPwnbU

[Spidey]

#23: Dead Alive


https://image.ibb.co/kBkrq0/Diner-1.jpg

Theatrical Release: August 13, 1992



Appetizer: US Billboards Top Song At The Time


"End of the Road" By Boyz II Men (August 9, 1992 - November 13, 1992)



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDKO6XYXioc


Dead Alive (or Braindead) is a New Zealand dark comedy/zombie horror movie written and directed by Peter Jackson. Considered by many critics to be "the goriest fright film of all time", this flick bombed at the box office but managed to develop a cult following after Jackson became successful with the Lord of The Rings movies. This movie was suggested by Jeff Deliverer of Mail.

As far as technical aspects including special effects goes...yeah. This movie goes above and beyond the $3 Million budget it was given - to put this in perspective, The Room had a $6 Million budget (adjusted for inflation, Dead Alive still doesn't top it). So with what little Jackson had, he did wonders. The gory scenes are indeed cringe-inducing and I can't even describe how over the top it is. I grew up on Evil Dead and Troma films and this movie manages to give them a run for their money. Just slapstick shlock all around - lighting, environment, acting, makeup/prosthesis, you name it. And when we get to the house party...oh man. A delightful hellscape cometh.

This film is a uhhh love story? A matricidal fantasy? Pure gonzo filmmaking? I have no idea. I'm just a kid who tries to make sense of the things he sees on television, but sometimes that fails me. Dead Alive isn't like anything I have seen before, and I've seen some crazy stuff. I can't tell if this movie has a deeper meaning. It sure feels like it sometimes. But the nihilistic comedy offsets that to a degree that it confuses me (but it doesn't annoy). Don't get me wrong - this is not a movie I see myself watching a few more times to get a better picture. It most definitely is the sort of film I would suggest to friends to watch them squirm though. For that it gets points.

Grab some rope and tie yourself in for a left turn into absurdity. Don't forget to leave a tip and kick some ass for The Lord.

💀 💀 💀


Tonight's Special: Simple Custard

When the WLWL are invited over for a meal, this dessert really gets the blood going.


https://image.ibb.co/mAoxxf/Diner1.jpg


INGREDIENTS (Serves 8)

4 cups of milk
4 eggs
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon butter
1/2 cup white sugar


1. Cook and stir milk, vanilla extract, and butter in a saucepan over medium heat until simmering. Remove mixture from heat before it comes to a boil.

2. Whisk eggs, sugar, and cornstarch together in a bowl until sugar dissolves.

3. Set saucepan back over low heat. Pour in egg mixture slowly, whisking constantly, until custard thickens enough to coat the bottom of a spoon, 5 to 10 minutes.

-not to be confused for #7's Egg Custard-

[Yaz]

Bought it, watched it twice, saw no deeper meaning past, Peter Jackson writes a cannon King Kong universe zombie story where a guy kills zombies with a lawnmower.

This is cannon in that universe by the way.

[Spidey]

For real? Huh. I wonder if that island of rat monkeys harbored one with Gigantism.


It's time I reinvented an old recipe here at The Diner. I've whipped up quite a batch of Horror lately with the occasional romp in drama and dystopic, and I'll tell you what - I need a change of pace. Time for me to kick my multiple legs up and take it less serious around here. Time for me to pull something out of the ol' icebox here up front and tickle my sweet tooth. Time for me to relax my spoopy mind and think back on the good old days of white Broncos evading the police at 40 mph. The days of Michael Jordan returning to the NBA toa hero's welcome. Back before there was such a thing as a Pokemon.

Back when moviegoers thought Alicia Silverstone was the future...but that's, like, whatever...


Come back soon, my friends.

[Spidey]

#24: Clueless


https://i.ibb.co/7W2JZC5/Clueless.jpg
Theatrical Release: July 19, 1995


Appetizer: US Billboards Top Song At The Time


"Waterfalls" by TLC (July 8 - August 19, 1995)



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WEtxJ4-sh4


Clueless is the retelling of the fantastic Jane Austen novel Emma but now set in Southern California. It's a coming of age RomCom about a young socialite in search of a boyfriend. This film is a cult classic, mostly receiving positive reviews. Famous for popularizing the phrase "As if!" (you know you've heard people say this), and for also placing Alicia Silverstone in the Who's Who of Hollywood at the time. Clueless also starred Paul Rudd and Brittany Murphy. It made 56 Million at the Box Office - more than triple its budget. There was also a TV series, a musical, and various books based on the movie. Obviously a nostalgic time capsule of a flick, but does it hold up?

Well, duh. Excellent casting across the board. Alicia is remarkably likeable playing a spoiled rich highschooler on top of the social ladder. Rudd is always charming, and Brittany was in her element as the ditz-turned-social monster. It's strength lies in its dialogue, and I couldn't help but chuckle throughout. Amazing how dumb acting characters can smartly turn a phrase here.

Though this movie isn't without problems. Major issue I had was all the voice narration. Most of the time it added nothing but an attempt at a joke here and there. Baaad Diary of a Mad Black Woman vibes there. If I can follow what is going on if I muted the scene, then I don't really need the character telling me how they feel or what they're about to do. Also the lingo felt forced at times. I know it was going for that blurred line of funny because they're making fun of the stereotypes, but still that can be a little grating. Cher also falls in love with someone that I feel is a tad too close to home and I can't press on that very much without spoilers, but to be clear the Austen novel was different in that regard.

Still, it doesn't take itself seriously and I enjoy that. This is not Mean Girls but it holds up well with the amount of great quotes it has. May wanna wash this one down with a glass of milk.

💀 💀 💀 1/2



Tonight's Special: Chocolate Chip Cookies

"Whenever a boy comes you should always have something baking."


https://i.ibb.co/zSrYrHb/cookie.jpg


INGREDIENTS (48 Servings)

3/4 cup granulated sugar

3/4 cup packed brown sugar

1 cup butter, softened

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 egg

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 package (12 ounces) semisweet chocolate chips (2 cups)

1 cup coarsely chopped nuts, if desired


1. Heat oven to 375º F.

2. In large bowl, beat granulated sugar, brown sugar, butter, vanilla and egg with electric mixer on medium speed or mix with spoon until well blended. Stir in flour, baking soda and salt (dough will be stiff). Stir in chocolate chips and nuts.

3. Drop dough by rounded tablespoonfuls about 2 inches apart onto ungreased cookie sheet.

4. Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until light brown (centers will be soft). Cool 1 to 2 minutes; remove from cookie sheet. Cool on wire rack.

[Yaz]

Legit question here. I do like Clueless, but how can you say it holds up with the forced lingo? The lingo was a big part of why this film is remembered, but no one (well almost no one) still uses those phrases. The film is still solid, I can still turn it on and get a kick out of it, but the dialogue and lingo here is just a tier above Mallrats for me in regards to how horribly it has aged.

[Spidey]

I don't mean the lingo held up. It was a bit cringey when characters made the W finger sign while exclaiming "Whatever!" and don't get me started on Dionne's boyfriend. But other bits of dialogue were fantastic. Cher correcting Josh's girlfriend on Shakespeare for instance. Or Cher's vanity played for laughs. "Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as finding meaning in a Pauly Shore movie" was golden. I thought the conversations the characters had were loaded with cleverness I didn't expect from characters that could be described in a few words. I can see why you wouldn't like it, it is a time capsule and to compare it to RomComs today it hasn't at all aged well (though there were bits about homosexuality that wasn't made into a joke and it should get brownie points for that).

I wouldn't say the quotes outside of "As if!" are memorable or anything, but they were decent stuff for a high school flick. Then again my experience with these kinds of films range from psycho killers to Mean Girls and that's about it.

[Spidey]

WATCH PARTY


Silent Night Bloody Night (1972)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEufaTUKrN0


This time of year is a busy one for your hash-slingin' arachnid, so instead of serving up a new order right away, we're gonna have ourselves a little party. This year I'm going with the non-classic called Silent Night Bloody Night. Eventually I'll get a review up for it, but for now all patrons are more than welcome to watch it with me and draw their own conclusions on whether it sucks or not (public domain!). Do you dare press play and risk watching a terrible movie? It is in your hands my friends.

Seasons Greetings from my little diner on the edge of town to yours. Santé!

[Spidey]

#25: Silent Night, Bloody Night



https://i.ibb.co/mG7hWCG/Bloody-Night.jpg

In Theaters: November 17, 1972


Appetizer: US Billboards Top Song At The Time



"I Can See Clearly Now" by Johnny Nash (November 4 - November 25, 1972)



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkwJ-g0iJ6w

Silent Night, Bloody Night aka Night of the Dark Full Moon aka Death House (or Deathhouse) is an American horror that brings to mind the slasher genre but also has roots in psychological drama. Set during Christmas Eve, a man inherits his family's estate that was once a mental correctional facility. A string of murders happen shortly after. This movie is notable for having a cast that were in the famed artist Andy Warhol's inner circle - Mary Woronov, Ondine, Candy Darling, Kristen Steen, Tally Brown, Lewis Love, filmmaker Jack Smith and artist Susan Rothenberg. This movie should not be confused with Silent Night, Deadly Night (I made that mistake) and is in the public domain.

It is also notable for being one of the first horror films to use the "telephone call to the victims" trope seen in movies such as Black Christmas, When A Stranger Calls, One Missed Call, and Scream.

Ever watch a movie where you kinda trudge through, see blips of brilliance, and poof, the end? That's how I felt watching this movie. It was serious enough to not fall under camp, but it was also not serious enough to give enough realism to its characters. Atmosphere is impeccable minus the bad lighting when it's shot outside in the night. Acting wasn't great but it wasn't laughably bad - in the end I kinda wished it would be. This horror is fairly conventional with a mystery killer murdering people mostly off-screen. Outside of the two big twists in the film (and they're pretty great, but not decent enough to want to sit through this movie again),it was all played up more like a made for TV movie. I have a pet peeve about narration that tells us something we can figure out on our own visually, and this flick does it repeatedly.

Those blips of brilliance come to the viewer through flashbacks and even though it tried to give the flick some subtext about mental health, it wasn't enough to deliver a proper message. Conflicted, even. At the very least, I found the last ten minutes or so fairly riveting though I wished there was more bloody build.

For me, this movie didn't have enough period. It confused itselg into being a soap, a gothic tale, a horror, and a budding slasher but not enough to leave any lasting impression on any of the aforementioned genres - save the phone calls. To put it bluntly, it made me yearn for the end. If you were one of those that attended the Watch Party, I'm so sorry. I thought this one had the psycho Santa Claus guy in it.

May want to pair this one with eggnog. It's marked down, cuz it ain't Christmas no more.

💀 1/2



Tonight's Special: Old Fashioned Fruitcake

It's a holiday treat that's not really a treat. Also, a synonym for people suffering from their cognitive faculties.



https://i.ibb.co/TqzYfK9/Fruitcake.jpg




INGREDIENTS (Serves 16)

1 Cup Butter, Softened

2 1/2 Cups Sugar

6 Eggs

2 Tablespoons Brandy Flavoring

4 Cups All-Purpose Flower

1/2 Teaspoon Cinnamon

1 Teaspoon Nutmeg

1 Teaspoon Salt

1 1/2 Pounds of Ready Mix Candied Fruit

1 Pound Seedless Raisins

3/4 Pound Candied Pineapple

3/4 Pound Whole Candied Cherries

2 Cups Pecan Halves

Light Corn Syrup And Pecan Halves (For Garnish)



1. In a large bowl, beat butter, sugar and eggs with an electric mixer until fluffy, adding eggs one at a time until yolk dissapears. Stir in flavoring.

2. Sift together next 4 ingredients and mix thoroughly with butter and egg mixture. Work the fruit and nuts into batter with hands. Grease and flour a 19" tube pan.

3. Fill pan 2/3 full with batter. Bake at 275° for 3 hours. One-half hour before cake is done, brush top with corn syrup. Decorate with pecan halves and finish baking. Cool. If desired, place cake, wrapped in a wine-soaked cloth, in an airtight container. Store in a cool place for several weeks; this blends and mellows the cake.

[Jeff Deliverer of Mail]

Grab some rope and tie yourself in for a left turn into absurdity. Don't forget to leave a tip and kick some ass for The Lord.

The above quote is great Spidey. Thanks for reviewing Dead Alive. One of my favorite Comedy/Slasher/Gross out movies ever.

New request: The original Poltergeist!

[Spidey]

#26: Spring Breakers



https://i.ibb.co/f2qDBxv/Spring-Breakers.jpg

In Theaters: March 15, 2013


Appetizer: US Billboards Top Song At The Time



"Harlem Shake" by Baauer (March 2 - March 30, 2013)



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qV0LHCHf-pE

Spring Breakers is an American crime film starring James Franco, Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, and WWE Hall of Famer Jeff Jarrett in a cameo. A flick that stands at 66% Fresh with 38% of movie goers liking it on Rotten Tomatoes, a 5.3 on IMDB, and a 7.3 on IGN. On the surface, one of those movies you either love or you hate it.

For me, I thought it was great. I'm a big fan of the way it was filmed: half of Spring Breakers is shot in a dreamy "music videoesque" way while the rest is a static, unfiltered reality. Really offsets the lengths the girls take to have a good time. Audio and video played a lot with sensory - film itself does not have a deep plot, but taking in the scenery and listening to the soundtrack Skrillex provided did carry it and I was never bored. Editing and sound were A+.

Acting was fair, with a few good/bad standouts. Franco put in excellent work as Alien the rapper, Gomez (Faith, the only other protag with a name watchers could easily remember), did well balancing out the morality gap the film doesn't take long establishing. The other co-ed characters were fair too, slipping further and further into something akin to a Grand Theft Auto parody. Only person I wasn't very impressed by was Archie "Big Arch" played by Gucci Mane. While I do think the overall superficiality of characters like his is THE point, much like Alien being a baller that [REDACTED], the acting wasn't worth writing home about.

To what lengths are we willing to take in order to be a part of some fantastical, hyped up self-imposed legendary event like Spring Break? For me this was an American Dream story, where a few girls pursue what's really just a fleeting sensation while cold reality keeps up with them at almost every turn. "Just pretend it's a video game" is a line that puts things in perspective for me, the girls that take the risks needed to achieve that Dream move through the movie as if they were video game characters heading for the final boss fight. They are devoid of any dimensions to their being other than the ones we expect from some Rockstar creation. Numb caricatures that barely have names. I thought that was intentional, and Spring Breakers was just showing what it saw as the Millennial American Dream on overload. We presumably want to be the guy/girl in the games or the music videos, popping off guns and getting with the beautiful people, doing drugs and getting lost in our celebrated consumerism like Alien repeatedly saying how this is our shit. Social commentary is there if not a little too on the nose at times.

Worth a spoonful if not a whole bowl. Here's something sweet.

💀 💀 💀 💀



Tonight's Special: Homemade Strawberry Ice Cream

A pink treat that's visually appealing with a simple to grasp palate.



https://i.ibb.co/cgMwMnR/ice-cream.jpg


INGREDIENTS (Serves About 1 - 1 1/2 Quarts)

6 large egg yolks

2 cups whole milk

1 cup sugar

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 cups heavy whipping cream

2 cups crushed fresh strawberries, sweetened


1. Place egg yolks and milk in the top of a double boiler; beat. Add sugar and salt. Cook over simmering water, stirring until mixture is thickened and coats a metal spoon. Cool.

2. Add the vanilla, cream and strawberries. Pour into the cylinder of an ice cream freezer and freeze according to manufacturer's directions. When ice cream is frozen, transfer to a freezer container; freeze for 2-4 hours before serving.




Poltergeist is on deck, Jeff.

[Spidey]

#27: Poltergeist (1982)



https://i.ibb.co/Sn0jdhv/Poltergeist.jpg

In Theaters: June 4, 1982


Appetizer: US Billboards Top Song At The Time




"Ebony And Ivory" by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder (May 15 - June 26, 1982)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZtiJN6yiik

Poltergeist is an American supernatural horror film directed by Tobe Hooper of Texas Chainsaw fame and produced by Steven Spielberg. Nominated for three Academy Awards, this film also spawned two sequels and a remake. Unsurprisingly has a cult following. It also has the whole controversial "curse" thing revolving around several cast members' deaths that happened comparatively to one another. This movie borrows heavily from the Twilight Zone episode "Little Girl Lost', and, aside from maybe TCM, this film is the most popular to be reviewed in The Snack Shack. I doubt I could do this any justice, but here we go.

I hate using the word "overrated". It's a trump card played only by people who find themselves in the minority and want their criticism to eclipse the majority's enjoyment of things. When Jeff asked me to cover this, I admit I didn't really feel up to it with how often people have reviewed this film. That's why this took so long, this and other projects. When I first watched Poltergeist in my teens, I thought it was another Spielberg flick about family sentimentality with a few horror scenes thrown in. I almost waved this off as an overrated film without revisiting it. I'm glad I decided to rewatch it. While I do think this was one of the more upbeat horror movies ever made, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Plenty of tension and the horror is the stuff that does stick with you. Who can forget the clown? The bathroom scene? The tree? The pool? I didn't appreciate this film enough the first time, but now I can see how it affected so many. Scary enough. A little long, maybe. But I earnestly believe tension should be stretched out, and stretched it was. Maybe it is a tad cliché for modern audiences sure, but then again it helped revolutionized many ghost movies that came after - including The Conjuring.

Casting was excellent to be full of unknowns at the time, and lighting/special effects were exactly what you'd expect from Spielberg. Honestly I don't really care for the musical score in this, but it does have a Spielberg/Joe Dante magic whimsy to it so it's flat out hard to hate.

There is the deconstruction of the American Dream at play here, and how a bit of that figuratively and metaphorically was built on top of the dead. The father being associated with real estate just to see his house get wrecked was a fun jab at the housing market and maybe a quiet knock at capitalism too.

When asked to do this film, I was ready to talk about all the Native American stuff. How the house being built on top of an Indian Burial Ground would be ripe with subtext. Hell, the Freelings are the quintessential suburban white family (give or take a pot smoking scene), and for them to come face to face with the horrors of the past would be great to talk about. Emphasis on would be....because there was no Indian Burial Ground in the movie. It was just a cemetary. There was even a line that stated outright that it wasn't tribal burial ground. Talk about a Mandela Effect.

Poltergeist is fun psychological trauma for the whole family. If you're looking for some good ol' ghostly scares, they're here.

💀 💀 💀 💀 💀



Tonight's Special: Homemade Apple Pie

A wholesome, family-oriented treat sure to leave a pleasant taste in your mouth.



https://i.ibb.co/mTyF8K0/applepie.jpg



(This recipe can still work with a lattice pie crust, which is the style I prefer.)

INGREDIENTS

1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
6 to 7 cups thinly sliced peeled tart apples
1 tablespoon lemon juice
Pastry for double-crust pie (9 inches)
1 tablespoon butter
1 large egg white
Additional sugar



1. In a small bowl, combine the sugars, flour and spices; set aside. In a large bowl, toss apples with lemon juice. Add sugar mixture; toss to coat.

2. Line a 9-in. pie plate with bottom crust; trim even with edge. Fill with apple mixture; dot with butter. Roll remaining crust to fit top of pie; place over filling. Trim, seal and flute edges. Cut slits in crust.

3. Beat egg white until foamy; brush over crust. Sprinkle with sugar. Cover edges loosely with foil.

4. Bake at 375° for 25 minutes. Remove foil and bake until crust is golden brown and filling is bubbly, 20-25 minutes longer. Cool on a wire rack.

[Jeff Deliverer of Mail]

Thanks Spidey, only been waiting since March 30th but great review. I give your review 5.1 perfectly cooked waffles out of 4.4.

[Jeff Deliverer of Mail]

New request: Event Horizon

[Spidey]

I might cool it a little with requests. You saw how long Poltergeist took and that one was a good film lol.

[Spidey]

Also, big project a'comin.

[EnviousDominous]

I might cool it a little with requests. You saw how long Poltergeist took and that one was a good film lol.

AH! I better get this request in before you slam that window shut.

New request: Deliverance

[Spidey]

https://rlv.zcache.com/pickup_here_sign_for_restaurant_or_business_rectan gular_sticker-r02af4251a8114334a2bdb047d584400d_0ugdw_8byvr_307. jpg?rvtype=content

If you have any requests, please get them in soon. I'll be reviewing one movie per customer. Friday will be the last time in a while I'll be taking personal orders. The restaurant will be undergoing renovations for the rest of the summer and I don't want to get dirt and sawdust in your food. I'm looking out for you, patrons. All for you. And the custodial closet full of bodies that gave us one star on Yelp. I definitely look out for them.