EnviousDominous
08-07-2018, 04:52 PM
Donald Trump sits in the oval office, and releases a long sigh as he can't figure out how to occupy his time after satisying his Twitter fix.
Donald stares at the 32% battery life of his iPhone X, and laments that he never changed the Android charger that's still plugged into the outlet of his desk. The phone lights up suddenly showing "Melania" on the screen.
Donald panics and throws his phone across the room. At that very moment, Mike Pence enters and the flying phone strikes his forehead.
"Sorry Mike, didn't see you there." Donald said.
Mike laughs and says "That's quite alright Sir. Next time I'll wear a helmet." Mike then picks up the phone and answers it.
Donald's eyes open wide and he waves his arms across his chest whispering "No. No. Put the phone down."
Mike answers the phone saying "Hello? Well, I'm Mike, now may I ask who you might be? Melania? Oh right, you're Mr. Trump's wife. How are you? I see, well Donald is right here if you..."
Donald rips the Moscow-Washington hotline off of his desk and throws it at Mike, striking him on the forehead.
Mike continues "I appear to be bleeding. Oh no, it's really nothing. Perhaps you should speak to Mr. Trump."
Donald rushes out of the oval office while Mike shouts "Mr. Trump! Please wait!" Mike chases after Donald.
Donald exits the White House and attempts to enter a parked limousine, finding that the door is locked. Donald strikes the side window, shattering it, and climbs into the limousine.
"Driver! This is an emegency! You have to tell me a story of a time that we both shared! It doesn't have to be real!" Donald shouts.
The partition between the driver and the rear of the limo descends. A familiar voice greets Donald.
"Hiya Donald! It's your best friend Vince McMahon!" Vince shouted while wearing the full uniform of a limo driver.
Mike, with his head now bandaged, stands at the doorway to the White House and squints to see if he can spot Donald.
"Vince? Look, I'm too freaked out to explain why I hate you. Just tell me a story!" Donald said.
"I tell the best stories! Which one would you like to hear?" Vince responded.
"Stop jerking yourself off and just say 'Do you remember that time that we' and say literally anything else after that!" Donald said frantically.
Mike stumbles toward the limo after hearing Donald's yelling coming from it.
"Do you remember that time that we went on a disco dancing marathon to protest the Vietnam War?" Vince said.
The limosuine suddenly launches forward at break-neck speed and drives through a rip in the space-time continuum to arrive at a time and date from the distant past.
Vince and Donald exit the limo, dressed in disco attire consisting of white leisure suits and black shoes.
"What the fuck!? This really happened?" Donald asked rhetorically.
"Sure did Don. And if I remember correctly, we were visited by Godzilla at this time." Vince said.
Donald stares at Vince for five minutes, and both men turn their heads to see Godzilla stomping through New York City.
Grace Jones walks up and screams "OH PEACHES! IT'S GODZILLA!"
Christopher Walken walks up and says calmly "And look, he's got a gun"
Godzilla reaches under his tail and pulls out a giant Glock 19 handgun.
Donald turns to Vince and says "You know what we have to do, right?"
Vince nods with a look of certainty, and runs to the driver seat of the limo.
"What the fuck are you doing Vince?" Donald asks.
Vince steps away from the limo, and it rockets toward Godzilla striking his forehead. Godzilla groans and attempts to leave, tripping over the Manhattan bridge and impaling himself on the Statue of Liberty.
The crowd around Vince and Donald erupts with deafening boos.
"What the fuck did you do that for Vince!?" Donald shouts.
"I guess I wasn't really thinking. I didn't know that Godzilla meant that much to you." Vince replied.
"I don't give a shit about Godzilla you goof!" Donald shouted causing the crowd to boo louder.
Donald waits for the crowd to boo less, and continues with "Godzilla just died in the past. By the rules of time travel, our flashback can't end. We have to create another Godzilla or we'll be stuck in the past!"
The limo returns and gives a complimentary "beep beep" to Donald who replies "Good boy".
Vince shows a look of confusion and asks "How can we create a Godzilla?"
Donald opens the trunk of his limo, and pulls out a giant trenchcoat.
Donald looks at the crowd gathered around him and says "Hey you stupid assholes! You better not turn your backs toe and then turn back around in two minutes!"
Truman Capote scoffs and says "We'll show you smarty pants!" and promptly turns his back. The crowd of people follow suit.
Donald hops up so that he's now sitting on Vince's shoulders, and dons the tenchcoat.
The crowd turns back around, and becomes very confused. Andy Warhol looks most confused of them all and says "Where did they go?"
Donald responds "Who gives a fuck about those guys, it's me, Tall Man. Wakka wakka boing boing!"
The crowd becomes elated and cheers for their new hero.
"Hey everyone, forget that stupid asshole Godzilla. Whenever you think of him, think of me, Tall Man!" Donald said.
Vince mutters "Yay, Tall Man!" causing Donald to punch Vince in the face which makes it appear that Tall Man punched his own groin. Everyone in the crowd punches their own groin.
Donald thinks for a moment and says "Elect Tall Man as President! Then repeal the 22nd amendment!"
*fast forward to November 3rd 2020, two days after the events noted above*
Mike Pence enters the Oval office sounding like he's out of breath and says "Donald, I finally found you! You need to take this call from your wife!"
Donald sits on Vince's shoulders while wearing a giant trenchcoat and replies "I'm not Donald! I'm President Tall Man! Wakka wakka boing boing!"
Donald stares at the 32% battery life of his iPhone X, and laments that he never changed the Android charger that's still plugged into the outlet of his desk. The phone lights up suddenly showing "Melania" on the screen.
Donald panics and throws his phone across the room. At that very moment, Mike Pence enters and the flying phone strikes his forehead.
"Sorry Mike, didn't see you there." Donald said.
Mike laughs and says "That's quite alright Sir. Next time I'll wear a helmet." Mike then picks up the phone and answers it.
Donald's eyes open wide and he waves his arms across his chest whispering "No. No. Put the phone down."
Mike answers the phone saying "Hello? Well, I'm Mike, now may I ask who you might be? Melania? Oh right, you're Mr. Trump's wife. How are you? I see, well Donald is right here if you..."
Donald rips the Moscow-Washington hotline off of his desk and throws it at Mike, striking him on the forehead.
Mike continues "I appear to be bleeding. Oh no, it's really nothing. Perhaps you should speak to Mr. Trump."
Donald rushes out of the oval office while Mike shouts "Mr. Trump! Please wait!" Mike chases after Donald.
Donald exits the White House and attempts to enter a parked limousine, finding that the door is locked. Donald strikes the side window, shattering it, and climbs into the limousine.
"Driver! This is an emegency! You have to tell me a story of a time that we both shared! It doesn't have to be real!" Donald shouts.
The partition between the driver and the rear of the limo descends. A familiar voice greets Donald.
"Hiya Donald! It's your best friend Vince McMahon!" Vince shouted while wearing the full uniform of a limo driver.
Mike, with his head now bandaged, stands at the doorway to the White House and squints to see if he can spot Donald.
"Vince? Look, I'm too freaked out to explain why I hate you. Just tell me a story!" Donald said.
"I tell the best stories! Which one would you like to hear?" Vince responded.
"Stop jerking yourself off and just say 'Do you remember that time that we' and say literally anything else after that!" Donald said frantically.
Mike stumbles toward the limo after hearing Donald's yelling coming from it.
"Do you remember that time that we went on a disco dancing marathon to protest the Vietnam War?" Vince said.
The limosuine suddenly launches forward at break-neck speed and drives through a rip in the space-time continuum to arrive at a time and date from the distant past.
Vince and Donald exit the limo, dressed in disco attire consisting of white leisure suits and black shoes.
"What the fuck!? This really happened?" Donald asked rhetorically.
"Sure did Don. And if I remember correctly, we were visited by Godzilla at this time." Vince said.
Donald stares at Vince for five minutes, and both men turn their heads to see Godzilla stomping through New York City.
Grace Jones walks up and screams "OH PEACHES! IT'S GODZILLA!"
Christopher Walken walks up and says calmly "And look, he's got a gun"
Godzilla reaches under his tail and pulls out a giant Glock 19 handgun.
Donald turns to Vince and says "You know what we have to do, right?"
Vince nods with a look of certainty, and runs to the driver seat of the limo.
"What the fuck are you doing Vince?" Donald asks.
Vince steps away from the limo, and it rockets toward Godzilla striking his forehead. Godzilla groans and attempts to leave, tripping over the Manhattan bridge and impaling himself on the Statue of Liberty.
The crowd around Vince and Donald erupts with deafening boos.
"What the fuck did you do that for Vince!?" Donald shouts.
"I guess I wasn't really thinking. I didn't know that Godzilla meant that much to you." Vince replied.
"I don't give a shit about Godzilla you goof!" Donald shouted causing the crowd to boo louder.
Donald waits for the crowd to boo less, and continues with "Godzilla just died in the past. By the rules of time travel, our flashback can't end. We have to create another Godzilla or we'll be stuck in the past!"
The limo returns and gives a complimentary "beep beep" to Donald who replies "Good boy".
Vince shows a look of confusion and asks "How can we create a Godzilla?"
Donald opens the trunk of his limo, and pulls out a giant trenchcoat.
Donald looks at the crowd gathered around him and says "Hey you stupid assholes! You better not turn your backs toe and then turn back around in two minutes!"
Truman Capote scoffs and says "We'll show you smarty pants!" and promptly turns his back. The crowd of people follow suit.
Donald hops up so that he's now sitting on Vince's shoulders, and dons the tenchcoat.
The crowd turns back around, and becomes very confused. Andy Warhol looks most confused of them all and says "Where did they go?"
Donald responds "Who gives a fuck about those guys, it's me, Tall Man. Wakka wakka boing boing!"
The crowd becomes elated and cheers for their new hero.
"Hey everyone, forget that stupid asshole Godzilla. Whenever you think of him, think of me, Tall Man!" Donald said.
Vince mutters "Yay, Tall Man!" causing Donald to punch Vince in the face which makes it appear that Tall Man punched his own groin. Everyone in the crowd punches their own groin.
Donald thinks for a moment and says "Elect Tall Man as President! Then repeal the 22nd amendment!"
*fast forward to November 3rd 2020, two days after the events noted above*
Mike Pence enters the Oval office sounding like he's out of breath and says "Donald, I finally found you! You need to take this call from your wife!"
Donald sits on Vince's shoulders while wearing a giant trenchcoat and replies "I'm not Donald! I'm President Tall Man! Wakka wakka boing boing!"