Meldown 160 | Matt Tastic vs Stetson Hayes [Archive]

Spidey

04-12-2019, 11:59 AM

Stetson: This world done gone to Hell.

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Stetson: Everybody got somethin' to complain about. Always another protest to go to. Another riot to start. We become a bunch of entitled, spoiled brats with more itches than we can scratch. Still...I can stomach that. Ain't my business what people whine about. They always do. But then HE got involved.

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Stetson: My son. My OWN son turned on me. See family means everything little lady, and thas why I'm here, speakin' to ya now. Gotta make things right. Gotta be the hero in this Hell, be another cowboy hat in a dirty town.

Jenny: Okay but you still hafta order something, sir.

The Hooters waitress chewed her gum and waited with pen and notepad in hand. Hayes asked for the wings, holding back a "fuck else would I eat here?".

Angie: Thanks for agreeing to this, South. I know it's been rough for you lately.

Stetson: Ya think? I'm an afterthought to a guy who's busy training vanilla midgets to fight his gay lover's vanilla midgets, and they're both teaching 'em that flippy dippy wrong way. Callie thinks wearing cowboy boots makes her country. I've been in a rut since Garth Brooks. And we ain't even got to my social life yet!

He finished his beer and signalled for another one.

Angie: Dakota will be here with his new girlfriend. You have to be on your best behavior.

Stetson: Me? He's the one goin' to gossip rags. I'd never do that to any of you. Best behavior. I'll show ya best behavior.

The second glass barely left Jenny's hand before it was drained. He told her to just bring him a whiskey, Daniels perhaps, and to leave the bottle.

Stetson: The Pit. Even the name sounds sweaty. We could be fightin' on Ascension in Texas but nooo throw a blue state a bone. This company, I swear to Christ.

He shook his head and emptied his shot glass.

Angie: One problem at a time, South.

Stetson: Okay then let's rip the bandage right the hell off. "Liberal terrorist" they call her! Yer momma, his grandmammy is spinnin' in her damn grave. Mute Movement. Sounds kinda regressive for the womenfolk if ya ask me.

Angie: She might not be so bad. Plenty of people think you're a hard pill to swallow, you know.

Stetson: Me an' hers bout as different as taking a pill or takin' a suppository, Angela.

His voice trailed off as he saw the couple enter the establishment. His son was hand-in-hand with a dark skinned, raven-haired beauty wearing a headband and more crystal necklaces than he could count.

Stetson: Why does she look familiar...

Dakota: Mom, dad, this is Aquarius Dawn. Aquarius, this is Angela and Stetson Hayes.

Aquarius: Pleased to make your acquaintances. Hopefully we can put some of these terrible rumors to bed.

Stetson: You used to hang out with that blonde ditz in WZCW. Tobacky or somethingoranother. Ain't you protestin' the president by not talkin?

Aquarius:I uhh did do that, but I found my voice in helping raise awareness at something that affects everyone of my gender.

Stetson: So now yer followers are the muties and you're their leader?

Aquarius: I wouldn't say that.

Stetson: But that's whas happening, right?

Aquarius: Well none of this would be happening if you'd relax on the women bashing a bit.

Stetson: What cunt have I offended lately??

Dakota: Can we go ahead and order something before we start throwing hands at one another?

Stetson: I ain't the one gettin' violent. Thas yer people when they see red hats.

Aquarius: Excuse me, but aren't your people shooting up schools, churches, Planned Parenthoods, etc. etc?

Angie: Enough. Not every dinner table conversation in America needs to play out like this. Everybody is so high strung these days and pointing out one extreme after another isn't helping anyone. Stetson, shut the fuck up for once and listen to somebody who thinks differently than you. Aquarius, thank you for joining us here, in a Hooters of all places, but no one wants to talk politics. We wanted to find some common ground with you being with our son is all. South is obviously hurt with what Dakota said in the papers.

Dakota: The National Enquirer is fake, mom. We've went over this.

Angie: But there's always a kernel of truth even in fake things.

Dakota: That's not at all factual.

Angie: Did you call your dad a relic?

Dakota nodded. Angela threw her hands up as if to say "VoilÃ ". Aquarius sighed. Stetson downed another shot.

Angie: You really hurt his feelings.

Stetson: Ya didn't hurt mah feelings, boy. But you brought shame on the family.

Dakota: I'm sorry.

The cowboy stood up from the table, tilting slightly from one foot to the other.

Stetson: Sorry ain't good enough. You and this hippie need to make things right.

Aquarius: We need to make things right. I like Dakota and I want to get along with you. Can we not try to get along?

He extended his hand.

Stetson: Sure. End your silly little movement by shaking my hand. That'd be one hell of an olive branch.

She glanced up at it.

Aquarius: I...I can't just stop what I'm doing with a handshake. If you're willing to cut down on things, we can set aside our differences.

Stetson: You're asking me to change?

He laughed so hard it got the attention of tables surrounding them.

Stetson: Thas the one thing I ain't gonna do. You ask an old outlaw to abide. Honey let's get one thing straight - I'm not a leaf that changes color. I'm an evergreen. Your Tastics and your Stormrages can come along and act differently on a dime. They can play video games, eat junk food, chase tail, chase each other's tail, teach, or whatever. But me, I am what I am. I've been in the rasslin' bidness for longer than Dakota here has been alive and not once have I changed it up. Ain't gonna start now with some snowflake who thinks all men hate her when one says somethin' insulting. We ain't done by a longshot, hippie. People march for me too.

Without another word, he stormed off and out of the restaurant, leaving his family behind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kip7JjEVf-U

ABMorales787

04-13-2019, 01:13 AM

Leon Kensworth: Ladies and gentlemen, I am currently standing outside St JoJo's Hospital For Obsessive Wrestling Fan's And Disgusting Weebs where Matt Tastic has been interned since this past Monday following apparent chronic migraines and strained eyesight. I am currently standing alongside part-manager and grandfather of the Hall of Fame wrestler, Granpa Tastic. Mr. Tastic, what caused this issue to begin with?

Granpa: Well, on Sunday, me and the boy sat down to watch two independent wrestling shows. The firs one was a great 3 hour show that had actually aired Friday. The second one though, was this insanely long 7 and a half hour show.

Kensworth: You're saying watching these shows affected his eyesight?

Granpa: According to the optometrist, yest. You see, Matt suffers from both Myopia in both eyes and Hyperopia in one. From his grandmother's side, a lot of family members suffer from chronic migraines and Fuch's Dystrophy, otherwise known as deteriorating corneas and have required surgery. Matt only suffers from the chronic migraines and depends on prescription contacts as the weight of glasses triggers migraines faster. Like a fool, he let his current contacts deteriorate for months and next thing you knew, he needs another prescription just 9 months after his previous.

Kensworth: So in other words, he watched too much wrestling.

Granpa: The dumb boy watched 5 more hours on Monday and then 5 on Tuesday. He spent his time cowarding under the pillows in agony just to sit back down to watch wrestling. I swear. I had to bring him over.

Kensworth: Will he be able to be in top condition for his match with Stetson Hayes?

Granpa: He should. He just needs his new contacts which should be arriving Monday and some rest.

Kensworth: So he'll be 100% for Hell in a Cell against Mikey Stormrage?

Granpa: I don't think anyone will ever be 100% for a match like that. Especially when it's gotten as personal as it has.

Kensworth: There you have it. Too much wrestling for Matt Tastic left him blinder than what he already was. Thank you for your time, Mr. Tastic.

Granpa: Who the fuck books a 7 and a half hour wrestling show anyway?