Pet Peeves: Dumb Questions

[Jeff Deliverer of Mail]

As a mailman I deal with the public a lot. I don't really mind people using this joke "Oh any cheques in the mail today? Har har ha" or " I don't want any bills today har har har !" I'll even fake laugh at these people because they don't know that I hear the same damn joke three times a shift. One guy even uses it an average of two times a week...but I even let that annoyance slide. What really gets me is the ridiculous questions that they obviously know the answer to....

It's an official holiday, Islander day, the whole island pretty much has the day off, except Canada Post. I'm at a community mailbox, my truck is right there with the Canada Post logo all over it, I'm in a mailman uniform but that won't stop the stupid question...

"Are you delivering mail today?"

I close my eyes.

I feel like saying "No lady, on my days off I practice my deliveries by writing hundreds of letters to people and print off Canada Post decals and stick them on a fucking rental truck."

"How come I'm not getting my mail anymore?"

This one was pretty fantastically stupid, the guy was still waiting for his home delivery mail that stopped two years ago, either he just doesn't watch the news, go outside or be awake most of the time to understand anything.

[BaconBits]

I work in wholesale auto parts. Ocassionally (today is one of those occasions, actually), I work in retail auto parts. My wholesale customers know exactly what they want and call and give me orders and I ship em out, easy peasy.

Retail customers are the exact opposite. Lots of them have no idea what they’re after and I have to go digging through books and webpages to try and figure out what they need. When we do figure it out and I get them the part or parts that I need, the same types of people ask me how to install said part or parts. I’m not a mechanic. I do not work on any cars, let alone many parts, so no, I do not know how to change the multi-function switch on your pile of junk. I want to say that to people that ask, but I’m a professional.

Thing is, I do know how to work on cars. I can do pretty much anything you need on a car. For a long time I drove junk and learned pretty quickly that it was way more affordable to work on my own stuff, particularly when I can get the parts at a deep, deep discount. I also have been on pit crews of various buddies with race cars off and on since I was 14. I’m currentky building hot rodded 86 Cutlass Ciera Cruiser wagon. I can’t tell customers that, though, because as soon as one of them doesn’t tighten their control arm up enough or whatever and crashes their car into a pole or worse, I’ll be getting sued.

[smarkmouth]

Oi, my old day job at a bookstore. I've forgotten the number of recurring questions, but two come to me immediately. The first is not so much a stupid question, but I'm putting it in the same realm;

*Item doesn't scan at the register*
"oH WelL i GuESs it'S FReE!"

Much like Jeff, I'd find myself working on holidays too. The bookstore in question (major chain, Canada) would get around this by selling maps. If you sell maps, you can stay open on holidays. So, on Easter or Thanksgiving, we'd get calls on the phone. And when I'd pick up; "Hi, are you open?". I mean, I guess it'd be rude of them to hang up once they have confirmed that the store is open by the meer sound of my voice on the call, but the number of calls with the same question, I'd almost prefer a rude hang-up.

[Jeff Deliverer of Mail]

Oh shit, I forgot this doozy from a few months ago....

"Is this U-Haul?"

Asked by a guy standing at the U Haul front door entrance. There's a dozen U Haul trucks in the parking lot, all prominently displaying the company name, a large U Haul sign and a huge U Haul rental unit right by the entrance, plus the fucking door even had U Haul painted right on the glass.

I felt like saying "No, it's Halloween dummy, this is McDonald's dressed up as U Haul this year. U Haul is down the street...dressed as McDonald's."

[klunderbunker]

When I was in college, I'd walk from class to the parking lot instead of taking the shuttle for the sake of getting some exercise (as it was about a mile each way). One day, it started pouring. Some of the hardest rain I've ever seen. I get to the car and I'm absolutely drenched. Instead of going straight home, I stop by the comic book store on the way. The rain is still pouring and since there's an overhang between the parking lot and the comic book store door, they have their door open. You can see and hear the rain very clearly. I walk in, still dripping wet and say to the guy at the register: "It's coming down out there." A woman is directly in front of me, meaning if she looks at me she can see out the door and into the parking lot.

Woman: "Is is raining?"

KB: "No. There's a rogue clown on the roof throwing water balloons at people. Yes. It's raining."

[Spidey]

I tend to pick up a part-time job at the Movie Tavern over the summer. Keeps me busy. I am a waiter who takes their orders and delivers it to them as they watch their movie. Can't tell you how many times I am asked "Why is it so expensive?" when I tell them their total with my little handheld.

They ordered a meal. At a movie theater. One that's focus is on fine dining like steak, pizza, and cocktails. They ordered off a menu that showed them the price. So many infuriating variables here that make it difficult to keep one's composure. Worst yet, they act like I'm the one that sets the price half the time. If you go to a theater expecting food on the cheap, I'm afraid I've got some bad news.

[Lee]

I've worked in customer service for nigh on 10 years. The most common ones were at PayPal when people pay someone then check the eBay feedback after
Customer "he's a scammer"
Me "How do you know?"
Customer "His eBay feedback says so"
Me "so why did you order from him?"

[Yaz]

When I was working security, I worked at a gatehouse in front of a fairly big factory. There were two gatehouses, one for semi trucks to come in (I was at this one) and one for employees and small truck deliveries. The second gatehouse would close at 9pm each night, so occasionally I would have to let an employee coming in or out on an unusual shift, or a food delivery through, but the majority of my traffic was truckers. When they came through I had to log them in with different info, then find out where they needed to go inside the factory and direct them there. Most of the guys were fairly familiar with the place, so they were in and out quick. Some would have a little chat with me, but most just wanted to get where they needed to go and get to the rest area inside the factory. At least once a day though, often in the middle of the busiest part of the afternoon, someone would pull in and ask "Is this where the semis check in?" Never mind the fact that there were always semis parked in the lot next to the gatehouse. Never mind that these guys often sat in line waiting on other drivers to get logged in. Never mind the second gatehouse didn't have enough clearance for something that big. Never mind there were three different signs that said "All semis check in here." Never mind only this gatehouse had scales to weight the trucks on their way out to make sure they were under the legal weight limit. The worst ones would be the guys who didn't have all their check in info for me either when they came into the gatehouse. Then, it was somehow my fault that they didn't have it.

I worked at a grocery store in my teens. Got a lot of the typical stuff there too.

[Fallout]

"I've lost something."

"Where could it be?"

"I don't know, you fucking tell me?"

[Jeff Deliverer of Mail]

This is another big one for me and it's pretty gross, so don't eat and read this. Walking into a bathroom stall and seeing some sick bastards wet crap exploded all over the inside of the toilet...and not a scrap of floating toilet paper in sight. So some gross motherfucker took a big ol explosion dump, then got up and continued his day without wiping his gross ass !!! That's goddamn gross!! Wipe your ass people !!