Its 5am and I am still drunk on Kofi
I just wanna share this because a lot of people know I am one of the biggest Kofi marks.
When I was 20 I tried to end my life and ended up in a psyche ward for a few days for treatment. When I got home, I was still incredibly depressed. My parents took me to dinner and then GameStop to try to cheer me up/distract me. I decided to get the latest Raw vs Smackdown on a whim as I hadn't watched wrestling in years, but was open to anything to take my mind off things. Thanks to the game I started to tune back into WWE on a weekly basis and saw this dreadlocked Jamaican who was always smiling and always happy. Obviously that was Kofi. Watching Kofi made me forget my troubles. Even if they were four minutes squash matches against Big Show or Jack Swagger, watching him go out and give his all with a smile on his face made me happy. He became the main reason I would watch each week, just hoping to see the Dreadlocked Dynamo in action. Sure, guys like Cena or Undertaker were bigger stars, but Kofi held a special place in my heart. Over the years I witnessed him put on good matches, win some titles, be featured with New Day, it was good. The whole time though, I wanted this man who helped me beat my suicidal thoughts to rise to greater heights.
There were times I thought it would never happen, much like I often think my depression will always control my life. I watched him come close here and there, the Elimination Chamber matches, the Royal Rumble saves, the year Sheamus won MITB and there was about a ten second period that Kofi was alone on tip of the ladder and I felt my heart skip beats. It never came to be though.
Skip ahead to the night Mustafa Ali was announced as injured and Kofi would take his places in the gauntlet match to determine the final entrant in the EC. I watched for an hour as this man I had cheered for more than anyone since I was a child overcame all the odds, only to fall. It felt relatable. To come so close, I related.
Over the last few weeks, Kofi's journey became my journey. His pursuit of the WWE Championship was exactly the same as my pursuit toward overcoming the suicidal thoughts that have plagued my mind for a decade now. When Kofi hit Trouble in Paradise and pinned Bryan for three, I thought to myself, you can do this too. You can beat your depression, you can defeat your suicidal thoughts.
It's so over dramatic, to be this invested in a scripted and pre-determined spectacle, but it gave me hope. That one day, if I keep trying, I can obtain what I never thought I could.
I had friends, some of you included, text me or Facebook message me and being excited for and wanting to share the moment with me. I was moved to literal tears and then cried more when I saw Xavier. That's what the win means to me. Hope.
