Flex Philosophy: Where does one go when they feel there is no road ahead? Can a road be made if there is no gas left in the tank? How can one fill their tank with gas prices sky rocketing? I personally blame Titus fans.
These thoughts and many more continue to swirl through the head of the Curious thinker Flex Mussel as he sits in his dining room surrounded by his team of allies. With the King at the head of the table to his right are his young protege Keith Kole and his personal friend Kassanda Kross. On the left is his personal security Wasabi Toyota and newly joined FlexAmerican associate Alice Adams. On the other end of the table is his somewhat romantic partner and life coach Svetlana. While all individuals in the room sit quietly as they wait for food to be served, a tension can be felt throughout the table. The fitness freak soon breaks the awkward silence.
Flex: Well Iâ??m happy you all could make it here.
Kross: You literally groaned as you opened the door to meet us.
Flex: Its called pre-dinner breathing exercises please act like you belong here.
Kole motions to his friend to simmer down as Flex continues on.
Flex: Iâ??m glad you could all make it because we all need to have a very important discussion about the future of FlexAmerica.
Everyone at the table has their interest immediately piqued aside from Wasabi, who is still awaiting the food.
Flex: In recent weeks our numbers have grown yet our-well more so my success has been marginalized while the rest of yours is...non-existent.
Adams and Kole visibly take offense to this.
Flex: I wonâ??t apologize for simply telling the truth, no longer can I sugar coat the reality of our situation, and its that youâ??re coasting off the success of King Mussel.
Kole: Coasting?! How dare you-
Flex: Be honest with you?! Would you rather me pat you on the back and say â??good jobâ? every time youâ??re left looking up at the stars? When was the last time you won a match?
Keith is seething but has no response.
Flex: Exactly, since joining FlexAmerica you have been nothing more than a warm body. You have incredible potential, but not even my guidance has helped you tap into it. And yes I do blame you, but I also blame myself.
The bodybuilder looks to his framed photo of a younger Flex training with WZCW hall of famer Everest.
Flex: I was once told youâ??re only as good as the circle you keep around you, and right now weâ??re not averaging very well. And that needs to CHANGE. Not only will you all need to improve. But I must as well. For the Roulette Round is upon us which means anything and everything can happen. One of us could be fighting for Eurasian or Elite championships. One of us could even win the World title, with the curse once again ringing its head the number of possibilities are endless. The question is, are either of you up for such a challenge?
The monsieur of muscle turns his attention to Alice.
Flex: Seeing as youâ??re a new recruit I donâ??t hold you to the standard of Keith here, yet. Plus Iâ??ve been in the ring with you and I know you have immense talent, and while I still do not understand the world of Barista-
Alice: Burlesque.
Flex: Yes that, you have the opportunity of a life time coming up and it would be in your best interest not to squander it.
Alice: Weâ??re not children to be held by the hand.
Flex: No you are clay to be molded, batter to be stirred, flan to be cooked, because both of you are raw, unpolished, and unfocused. Something this nation can no longer afford to be. I can no longer afford to be associated with the bottom half of a roster struggling to keep itself alive. I can no longer be associated with wasted potential!
Kross is becoming irked as she wants to speak up. Keith continues to keep in check silently.
Flex: I once had two allies, similar to yourselves. Together we all had raw talent, and things definitely were not perfect from the get go. It took a lot of practice, a lot of hardwork, and a lot of coordination but eventually we gelled to the point where we were unstoppable. Things fell apart however when we began to believe we were friends. That our special bond meant more than the success we accumulated. Maybe I gave off the impression to you two that Iâ??m sort of friendly mentor, if so that was my mistake, allow me to rectify it.
Flex Fitness Chefs begin to make their way into the dining room and set dinner plates with tops on them in front of everyone except for Svetlana who waves it off. This breathes new life into Wasabi who is now anxiously awaiting the meal. An irritated but hungry Keith is the first to open his top and he is met with an oversized, heavily greasy, averagely made cheeseburger.
Keith: What theâ?¦.what the hell is thisâ?¦.
Flex: It is a test and a warning comrade, a test see if you truly are one with FlexAmerica. And a warning to show that if not you will be right back to where you started.
Keith: You know I donâ??t like this...anymoreâ?¦
Flex: I donâ??t like failure anymore yet here we are Keith, prove me wrong!
The bodybuilder picks up the burger and begins waving in his face to tempt his protege.
Kross: Why are you demoralizing him? Youâ??re supposed to help him you jackass!
Flex: Positive reinforcement is for children. We are adults here, and adults must have discipline, and I need to know Keith is capable of that.
The former fast food worker stares at the burger, the salty aroma of grilled cheese and red meat forces its way into his nostrils. His mouth is visibly watering as he thinks back to his pre-FlexAmerican days. His mouth begins to motion towards the burger but at the last second he snatches the burger away from Flex and chucks it into the trash.
Keith: I am better than the past, I am better than my present, I will do better, you can count on that. I am a worthy FlexAmerican.
Kole sits back in his seat as Kross shakes her head disapointed that theyâ??re still here.
Flex: We shall see.
Alice opens her dinner plate only to be confused when there is no food, but a single pair of panties.
Alice: What is this?
Flex: Will you choose your career Alice or will you choose your sexual vanity?
Alice: Why canâ??t I have both?
Flex: To be perfectly honest Iâ??ve yet to see the former. You defeated a legend in Titus and have proceeded to do nothing. Are you okay with just being labeled a fluke?
Alice: Iâ??m not a fluke, nor will I ever be one, nor will I ever give up what I love because a megalomaniac said so.
Flex: The defiance is cute but I still donâ??t believe in your conviction. Much like Keith we shall see if you are all talk, just know if you step in the ring with me again, FlexAmerican alliance or not I will show no mercy. My time in the spotlight was ripped away far too soon, and I got a lot left more to give this place. You both saw what happened to Vega at Unscripted, and no one has seen him since.
Wasabiâ??s stomach growls which takes away Flexâ??s attention.
Wasabi: There isnâ??t food under mine is thereâ?¦
Flex: Open it up Wasabi.
The bodyguard hesitantly opens his dinner plate only to be crushed when he sees â??Flexsterineâ? mouth wash.
Flex: I may have waved the burger in front of Keithâ??s face but Iâ??m concerned about your hunger most of all Wasabi. Did you think I wouldnâ??t smell the saturated fat on your breath?
Wasabi: But I havenâ??t even eaten-
Flex: Youâ??re my warrior on the front lines yet youâ??re still putting poison into your body. Unacceptable, you treating your body this way is a poison to FlexAmerica in and of itself. If you still wish to reside within our borders, than your mind, body, and most importantly your breath must be clean.
The bodyguard immediately begins to gargle and swish the mouth wash as tears begin to run down his face.
Flex: You used to be a mauler, you will return to form, or die trying.
Kross: What the hell is wrong with you? Is there going to be a horseâ??s head under mine?!
Kassandra opens up her dinner plate to see a simple Flex Fitness protein shake awaiting her.
Flex: Iâ??ll be honest I have no clue who you are, but you do look like you could use some muscle mass, so drink up!
Svetlana: Thereâ??s one plate left love, open yes?
Flex: Yeah I could use a shake myself.
The former world champion opens up his plate revealing not a protein shake but the clear plastic mask of his imaginary trainer Masquer.
Flex: The hell is this?
Svetlana: Well with all the motivation you were giving us, I thought it was only fair we reciprocated.
The lights in the house all immediately dim as everyone around the table except for Flex put on plastic masks and begin to circle around the King like sharks to food.
Masquer: Did you think you could escape me? That you wouldnâ??t face consequences for leaving me to rot?
Flex: How do you all know about this?
The members of the nation all talk as one as Masquer has seemingly channeled his spirit through them.
Masquer: We will always have a connection Flex! One that cannot be broken, certainly not when failure is invovled. Were you going to tell me you lost the World title?
Flex: It was months ago I can barely remember at this point.
Flexâ??s allies get closer in closer like bullies surrounding a helpless child.
Masquer: Well it feels like yesterday to me, and the fact that you havenâ??t gotten it back yet shows that youâ??ve gotten used to this failure.
Flex: Nonsense, I will regain-
Masquer: Then prove me wrong you useless fat slob! Or are you going to fail yet again just like at the Lottery.
Flex: My body has less than 5% body fatâ?¦and I came so close...
Masquer: Close isnâ??t enough! If you want to be considered one of the greatest ever you need to aim higher! Bigger! You are nothing more than another spoke in the wheel in a company spinning in circles! Youâ??re a god damn loser! Nothing more than enhancement talent! DO BETTER!!
The crowd continues to yell at Flex overwhelming him to the point where he crawls into the fetal position and begins to sob uncontrollably.
Flex: Iâ??m not a loser...Iâ??m one of the greatest to ever do itâ?¦.Iâ??m FLEX FUCKING MUSSEL! Iâ??m not the same child who needed you just to get through the day. You and others seem to think Iâ??ve rest on my laurels. Well I think theyâ??ve rested on me!
Still with tears running down his face Flex now stands back up as his masked allies continue watching on.
Flex: Iâ??ll be damned if I let this Kingdom Come go by and Iâ??m not fighting for something important, or fighting someone important. It doesnâ??t matter whether itâ??s Meltdown or Ascension, extreme rules or no rules, handicapped or by myself this roster is about to be reacquainted with just how dangerous I am. So god help Mikey, Garth, or even the new World champ Xander himself. This is a results driven industry and the one thing Iâ??ve done for years is bring in results!
Masquer: But are you all talk like your allies?
Flex: Iâ??ve been here long enough to walk as well. But Iâ??ll be running through things from now on.
The monsieur of muscle begins ripping the masks off his allies in a fit of rage until-
Svetlana: Flex...are you okay?
The moniseur of muscle looks up to see everything is back to normal as he stands in the position he started looking at a protein shake on his dinner. He scans everyoneâ??s faces and no plastic masks are in sight.
Keith: Youâ??ve been standing there for like a minute.
Flex: Right...dinner adjourned. I shall see you all at the Roulette Round, for your sake I hope itâ??s not as adversaries.
The bodybuilder quickly storms off leaving the rest of the group confused. Wasabi is still sobbing from the mouthwash.
