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Thread: The Problem With Baron

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Spidercanrana View Post
    He's a fantastic heel who is doing great with what he's given. I don't like him and that's the idea.

    I'd argue there are way worse whitebread characters running around the WWE who deserve more scrutiny than Baron Corbin right now.
    Well shoot. Simply "running around the WWE" is a lot different than being the guy who's being sold as a deliberate buzzkill toward anything exciting.

    I really don't hate Baron, I don't have very many reasons to hate him. For what the writers have given him in terms of character depth, he deserves to just be another shmuck chasing after R-Truth twice a week.

    Remember when The Million Dollar Man kicked that basketball? Remember when Andre tore Hogan's shirt? Remember when HHH was revealed to be the guy who attacked Shawn Michaels in the parking garage? Remember when Buddy Roberts got his hair cream in Junk Yard Dog's eye? Remember when Earthquake squashed Damien? Remember when Jake the Snake crashed Macho Man's wedding? Remember when Sergeant Slaughter swore allegiance to Saddam Hussein? Remember that one time that Baron... hurt Braun Strowman's foot causing him to miss a week?

    Fuck it, make Baron spit in the face of Daniel Bryan. Make Baron win the 24/7 championship, and then dissolve it in a vat of acid. Make Baron slap an old lady in the audience and laugh while she cries. Make Baron someone who we really fucking HATE.
    Quote Originally Posted by Spidercanrana View Post
    If the internet has taught me anything, it's that a show is either touched by God's mighty pen or Satan's diseased penis.

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by EnviousDominous View Post
    Well shoot. Simply "running around the WWE" is a lot different than being the guy who's being sold as a deliberate buzzkill toward anything exciting.

    I really don't hate Baron, I don't have very many reasons to hate him. For what the writers have given him in terms of character depth, he deserves to just be another shmuck chasing after R-Truth twice a week.

    Remember when The Million Dollar Man kicked that basketball? Remember when Andre tore Hogan's shirt? Remember when HHH was revealed to be the guy who attacked Shawn Michaels in the parking garage? Remember when Buddy Roberts got his hair cream in Junk Yard Dog's eye? Remember when Earthquake squashed Damien? Remember when Jake the Snake crashed Macho Man's wedding? Remember when Sergeant Slaughter swore allegiance to Saddam Hussein? Remember that one time that Baron... hurt Braun Strowman's foot causing him to miss a week?

    Fuck it, make Baron spit in the face of Daniel Bryan. Make Baron win the 24/7 championship, and then dissolve it in a vat of acid. Make Baron slap an old lady in the audience and laugh while she cries. Make Baron someone who we really fucking HATE.
    Folks already hate him. He gets some of the loudest boos in the building. He doesn't have to drop an anvil on a bunch of kittens to get fans mad.

    It's easy to give heel examples from yesteryear to try and make a point. Remember that one time Drew McIntyre...said aggressive things? Or remember that one time The O.C. ...gloated backstage? See, there are worse heels running around right now, and a few of them are in emasculating cuckhold storylines. Who the fuck finds those entertaining?

    If ever there was a week to give Baron a pass, it's this one.

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  5. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Spidercanrana View Post
    Folks already hate him. He gets some of the loudest boos in the building. He doesn't have to drop an anvil on a bunch of kittens to get fans mad.

    It's easy to give heel examples from yesteryear to try and make a point. Remember that one time Drew McIntyre...said aggressive things? Or remember that one time The O.C. ...gloated backstage? See, there are worse heels running around right now, and a few of them are in emasculating cuckhold storylines. Who the fuck finds those entertaining?

    If ever there was a week to give Baron a pass, it's this one.
    To be fair, the WWE tried a Hell of a lot harder to make us hate Drew, and if they tried half as hard with Baron then I doubt I would have ever started this thread. At this point, dropping an anvil on kittens is about all that Baron could do to make us wonder about him. Fans getting mad about having just took a piss break during the Sasha Banks segment only to have to sit through another boring Baron segment with empty bladders isn't the same as fans getting mad about mewing kittens getting compacted on live tv. I'm being such a huge Baron Corbin right now by annoying you with redundancy, but remember when Nikolai Volkoff claimed that if he defeated Hulk Hogan for the WWF Championship that he'd tell Nikita Khrushchev to push the nuclear launch button?

    I'm not lecturing you, but just so we're clear, there are two distinct types of heels at either end of a heel spectrum that rates the level of excitement we feel for viewing them. On one end you have Sergeant Slaughter betraying his country, and on the other end you have Baron Corbin beating Chad Gable to become the King of the Ring. Chad Gable is fun at best, and nobody that was born after 1995 gives a shit about the King of the Ring. I highly doubt that Baron beating Chad, and ending his pipe-dream of being a Rocky-esque King of the Ring, made anyone bat an eye. The match was great, but it didn't tell the story of a despicable bad guy beating a benevolent good guy.

    I've already blamed the writing, but this in my view Baron's whole career has been a perfect storm of bad writing and an emotionless deer in the headlights on screen demeanor. If you try to save him with a catch-phrase, or a finisher that doesn't look fucking stupid, it would come across as desperate.

    In regard to the O.C., yeah, they're hot garbage. Everyone knows that their push is only a result of Vince being nervous about them or AJ selling tickets for AEW. Whether or not they're worse than Baron Corbin is a subjective matter, and for me Baron is worse because he gets more unwarranted microphone time.

    Baron is what I call a "default heel". He's a heel just like Curtis Axel was a heel. Nobody connects with him, and the best we can come up with is a petty compliment based on his ability to do the bare minimum.

    Can you give me an example of people hating Baron for any reason other than the fact that he's an "ok at best" dork who's running around like he's the second coming of Triple H?
    Last edited by EnviousDominous; 10-01-2019 at 02:04 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Spidercanrana View Post
    If the internet has taught me anything, it's that a show is either touched by God's mighty pen or Satan's diseased penis.

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