WZCW Zero Hour: We are the champions...

[Lee]

The voice of Michael Moore can be heard.

Despite what Titus has said, the grandest prize of them all in WZCW is the WZCW World Heavyweight Championship. The oldest and consistent championship in the federation has great history.

The current champion, Xander, is one of only two to win it by winning the Lethal Lottery. Matt Tastic is the other.

There have been a handful of double champions but it makes sense that three have had three reigns. Showtime, Ty Burna and Titus.

The shortest reign was Disasterpiece which was atrocious really he. He won and lost it on the same night, absolute poor form.

What about the Hall of Famers? Big Will, Steamboat Ricky, Titus, Everest, Vengeance, Ty Burna, Big Dave, Barbosa, Showtime, Steven Holmes, John Constantine, Matt Tastic, Mike Stormrage and Eve Taylor. Quite the bunch really.

What can we expect tonight? With 41 different reigns can we get to the life, universe and everything or will Xander keep his really impressive reign and end it on a high?

[Lee]

Xander is standing backstage with his World Title over his shoulder as he smirks at the camera.

Xander: Well well well, WZCW is about to end and you know who's fault it is? Yours. All of you fans are the reason and you should feel ashamed of yourselves.

Fans in the arena can be heard booing.

Xander: And I know you all think you're gonna get another happy ending, I mean why wouldn't you? Carl the loveable underdog won the Mayhem Title, Garth Black came out of nowhere to win the Elite Title and Titus got his happy ending by winning back the Eurasian Title. But that's only because they didn't have to go through me. All of your heroes are going to come after me and they're all going to try and take my World Title, but they won't because they simply aren't as good as me.

Xander adjusts the championship on his shoulder.

Xander: I'm going to break all of your hearts and take my championship home with me. I am the greatest World Champion this company has ever had and I'll prove that by retaining against everyone this stupid company can line up to face me! Tonight, your heroes die and the legend of Xander reaches even higher levels.

[Lee]

Backstage we see Yemrez Raquonic talking, but nobody else is there. Suddenly, Justin Cooper walks into the room looking confused.

Cooper: Who are you talking to?

Yemrez turns around and smiles at Cooper.

Yemrez: Oh, I was just talking to my boyfriend.

Cooper shoots her a weird look.

Cooper: Um what? I don't see a phone in your hand or anyone in here.

Yemrez: Well that's because he's sadly passed away, but don't you see his ghost in here? He's standing right next to me.

Cooper can't help himself from busting out laughing, which angers Yemrez.

Cooper: You're joking right? You have to be joking. Ghosts aren't real. No wonder you never won matches.

Yemrez takes a step towards Cooper and gets in his face.

Yemrez: We'll see who's laughing when I eliminate you from the battle royal tonight. You won't have Mark Keaton to save you.

Cooper laughs again.

Cooper: I don't need help to eliminate you. Have fun talking to your boyfriend.

Cooper brushes past Yemrez and walks away laughing as she stands there looking angry at him.

[Lee]

The Beard and Harald are sitting at a table playing Scrabble, showing they are much more than just big hairy beasts.

Beard: Chutzpah. That's at least seventy seven points. I can thank my old Jewish friend The Local Talent for that one.

Beard's opponent ponders his next move.

Harald: Quixotic. It means not sensible about practical matters.

Beard: Yeah, reminds me of the way you talk.

Harald gets mad and slams his fists on the table as he stands.

Harald: Got something you wanna say? Maybe you care to put it in a poem?

Beard flips the table at Harald and the two start to wrestle around. They bump into Dorian Slaughter, who is reading a book on Norse mythology. The bump causes Slaughter to spill his warm tea all over his shirt and the very expensive book. Slaughter takes the book and smacks both men in the head with it before he walks off to find something to clean himself up with.

[Lee]

Backstage Rush is talking to Theron Daggershield

Rush: I don't get it.

Theron: Dungeons & Dragons (commonly abbreviated as D&D or DnD) is a fantasy tabletop role-playing game (RPG) originally designed by Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson. It was first published in 1974 by Tactical Studies Rules, Inc. (TSR). The game has been published by Wizards of the Coast (now a subsidiary of Hasbro) since 1997. It was derived from miniature wargames, with a variation of the 1971 game Chainmail serving as the initial rule system.D&D's publication is commonly recognized as the beginning of modern role-playing games and the role-playing game industry.

D&D departs from traditional wargaming by allowing each player to create their own character to play instead of a military formation. These characters embark upon imaginary adventures within a fantasy setting. A Dungeon Master (DM) serves as the game's referee and storyteller, while maintaining the setting in which the adventures occur, and playing the role of the inhabitants of the game world. The characters form a party and they interact with the setting's inhabitants and each other. Together they solve dilemmas, engage in battles, and gather treasure and knowledge. In the process, the characters earn experience points (XP) in order to rise in levels, and become increasingly powerful over a series of separate gaming sessions.

The early success of D&D led to a proliferation of similar game systems. Despite the competition, D&D has remained as the market leader in the role-playing game industry. In 1977, the game was split into two branches: the relatively rules-light game system of basic Dungeons & Dragons, and the more structured, rules-heavy game system of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons (abbreviated as AD&D). AD&D 2nd Edition was published in 1989. In 2000, a new system was released as D&D 3rd edition, continuing the edition numbering from AD&D; a revised version 3.5 was released in June 2003. These 3rd edition rules formed the basis of the d20 System, which is available under the Open Game License (OGL) for use by other publishers. D&D 4th edition was released in June 2008. The 5th edition of D&D, the most recent, was released during the second half of 2014.

As of 2004, D&D remained the best-known, and best-selling, role-playing game in the US, with an estimated 20 million people having played the game, and more than US$1 billion in book and equipment sales worldwide.The game has been supplemented by many pre-made adventures, as well as commercial campaign settings suitable for use by regular gaming groups. D&D is known beyond the game itself for other D&D-branded products, references in popular culture, and some of the controversies that have surrounded it, particularly a moral panic in the 1980s falsely linking it to Satanism and suicide. The game has won multiple awards and has been translated into many languages.

Rush: Have you ever seen a pair of titties?

[Lee]

The camera fades in on a kitchen, modern, clean and large; a woman with red hair is cooking a meal as the camera pans past her and two children run across the frame. It eventually stands still on a man sat on the sofa, behind him in a display case are a series of championship belts, a Eurasian championship, an Elite X Championship and at the top a pair of Tag Team championships alongside a photo from Kingdom Come V with a tank on the entrance ramp. James Howard sits there proudly, smiling.

James Howard: I’m sorry I couldn’t be there tonight in person to say goodbye to WZCW. It was one of the greatest times of my life. I don’t have much to say really other than Thank You. Sincerely, everyone who’s ever been involved in this crazy endeavour deserves all the love and respect of everyone involved. Waiting for the show to be live was always thrilling and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss it. Thunderbuddies for life. Goodbye WZCW.

[Lee]

Showtime and Sam Smith are speaking backstage.

Showtime: I never thought I'd see you again.

Smith: Why?

Showtime: Wern't you in Big Brother?

Smith: A different Sam Smith.

Showtime: Singing?

Smith: A different Sam Smith.

Showtime: Right and you don't have the sneakers either?

Smith: Good grief.

[Lee]

Backstage Leon Kensworth is with Haven.

Leon: Well Haven, a final goodbye to WZCW. Ready to defend your home?

Haven: Coast City?

Leon: I mean Coast City doesn't exist. It's a DC Comics location, where the Green Lantern is from. Who would do that and make up a location?

Haven: Like Keystone City? Home to Wally West?

Out of nowhere Red Mask appears.

Red Mask: Excuse me. Keystone City is as real London. What's with the Green?

Haven: It's better than Red.

Red Mask: No it's not. What's with the cape? It looks stupid.

Haven: It's easier to woosh.

Red Mask: To quote Edna Mole. No capes.

Haven: Yeah well your mask is just a Red version of Black Mask from Batman. Or the Red Hood.

Red Mask: Well you're just the Hurricane!

Leon: Yeah we can't mention him. Let's take it to the ring fellas.

[Lee]

Ricky Runn is walking around backstage with his entourage, The Swag Pack following him around. Each time he passes a female employee, he sexually harasses them in some form.

Runn: Swiggity Swag I got this win in the bag.

Becky Serra, Ricky's one time one interest but not really because it was actually El Swago, passes by and Ricky slaps her ass.

Runn: Swiggity Swooty, coming for that booty.

Becky turns around on a dime and slaps Ricky in the face.

Runn: She totally wants me.

Ricky walks away, the Swag Pack following, so he can find more women to send dick pics to.

[Lee]

Stormrage: I've held a lot of gold in my career. You name it, I've done it.

Mikey shrugs a little.

Stormrage: Hell, in early ninety nine I beat Ocarina of Time. I was a legend in my town.

The gamer let's out a sigh.

Stormrage: They say this is the end. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I just know one thing. Of all the things I have accomplished in my career, this ring right here, its the most important.

Instead of his Hall of Fame ring, Mikey shows the camera his wedding ring.