Sam's Thread of Movie Lists and Chit Chat (w/Jake)

[Fallout]

Swansea are getting relegated, but Cardiff are going up, so I guess it's a mixed bag for me. Shame, I wanted another Premier League derby. Haven't paid close attention to footie in years, but from what I remember, Stoke were a defensive powerhouse of a side.

Also, Demolition Man has aged like a fine wine. I don't want to say it was ahead of its time, because I think a lot of its commentary was accidental, but it's a great metaphor for the internet.

[Y 2 Jake]

It's definitely unintentional so don't tell anyone.

We were great defensively until two and a half years ago when Mark Hughes needed to start thinking about updating his Pulis era defense. He plumped for some misfiring strikers instead.

[Uncle Sam]

It transpires that Secret Cinema is a thing in which people pay to participate in elaborate live action roleplay, if you can imagine such a thing. I have trouble enough making eye contact with my girlfriend. No thanks.

Swansea are getting relegated, but Cardiff are going up, so I guess it's a mixed bag for me. Shame, I wanted another Premier League derby. Haven't paid close attention to footie in years, but from what I remember, Stoke were a defensive powerhouse of a side.

Yeah, well, spare a thought for those of us in League One. God, that was a penalty all day long. I'm not normally one to send death threats to referees but I might just have to on this occasion.

[Uncle Sam]

1. Lady Bird ★★★★★
2. Coco ★★★★★
3. Paddington 2 ★★★★
4. Isle of Dogs ★★★★
5. The Shape of Water ★★★★
6. A Quiet Place ★★★★
7. Phantom Thread ★★★★
8. Avengers: Infinity War ★★★
9. Annihilation ★★★
10. You Were Never Really Here ★★★
11. Mute ★★★
12. Black Panther ★★★
13. Deadpool 2 ★★
14. The Cloverfield Paradox ★

It's not entirely insufferable, it's just not very funny. Like, when it does do jokes, the ratio of hit to miss isn't awful, it just doesn't seem to attempt jokes for a weirdly long chunk of its runtime. Props for adding comic accurate (ish) Cable, Domino and [SPOILER] to comic accurate Colossus though. And I wasn't a huge fan of that kid in Hunt for the Wilderpeople and I'm not a huge fan of him in-- wait, no, he has an accent that's different to mine and, on reflection, that's literally the funniest thing ever.

Really, I wish people would just watch Crank and Crank 2.

[SSJPhenom]

Man you guys have really been hard on Deadpool 2, yet the media and a lot of reviews say it's better than the first film. Question, what did you rate the first film?

[Uncle Sam]

I gave it a four that I reduced to a three after peer pressure from Tastycles. Mind you, this is the same year I gave Suicide Squad three stars so there was obviously something in the water.

Again, I cannot recommend Crank highly enough. Well, I can, but it's basically doing a much better version of what Deadpool is attempting, minus jokes about X-Men continuity.

[Y 2 Jake]

Deadpool 2 ☆☆☆

What Sam said. It just isn't funny.

[SSJPhenom]

I liked the first Crank. The second one.......meh.

[JGlass]

Aren't you one of those weirdos that says Blade 2 is better than Blade 1?

[Uncle Sam]

Curveball: Blade 3 is the best because of Triple H and the best comeback in cinema history: Dracula asks Blade if he's ready to die and Blade responds, "I was born ready, motherfucker." Plus the shot for which Wesley Snipes refused to open his eyes so they CG'd eyeballs onto him.



All in all, a cinematic masterpiece.

Crank is indeed better than Crank 2, if only for the reveal of Jason Statham being able to read subtitles in universe.