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Thread: Tiger King

  1. #1

    Tiger King

    Human beings are a very weird bunch, eh?

    At any moment our whims can simultaneously focus on one form of influence, and in this case I'd say it's a classic case of mass hysteria.

    There's this whacked out docuseries on Netflix that's taken the world by storm, and it's called Tiger King.

    For the few of you who haven't seen it, Tiger King can be over-simplified as being a flame-war battle-royal between a bunch of socially backward bozos. If you want the professional summary; Tiger King is the story of a man named Joe Exotic who considers himself to be such a powerful tiger enthusiast that he dubs himself the Tiger King.

    For me; my main reason for watching every episode was due to every episode managing to bait a "What the fuck!?" reaction out of me.

    I'll summarize my opinions of every major character in this wacky saga of American White trash.

    Doc Antle:

    I see this guy as White R Kelly, or rather a living example of the question of what would have happened if R Kelly were White. It's plainly explained by a woman who escaped his psychological prison that you only exist with the privileges of petting cute baby tigers all day and the ability to acknowledge sunlight if you let him have his way with you sexually. If I remember correctly, girls are recruited to live on his compound before they're of legal age to consent to sex. This isn't a keen insight on my part, this is literally what's happening with this piece of shit and he unapologetically gloats about it. One insight I have however, is that the concern on part of anyone who comments on his situation isn't that he's an evil piece of shit, but that he's an amazing man and that he deserves to be able to sexually exploit girls and women if he's found a means to do so.

    I understand that he's currently being investigated for cruelty to animals. That's fine, though I wish there was some kind of law that prevented brain fucking vulnerable youth into believing that you're God.

    Carole Baskin:

    I really don't hate Carole, my only issue with her is that she's so staunch about why it's wrong to exploit animals for profit. It's noted, but not by her, that she got her start in the zoo business by breeding wild animals for the sole purpose of selling them for profit. She seems to get a lot of hate however, because she "threatened" Joe Exotic's business by lobbying for legislation that would make it illegal to breed and/or sell wild animals in the US. Maybe that's giving her haters too much credit, more like Joe hates her for that reason and the majority of her haters hate her because they relate so well to Joe and want to just hate anything that he does.

    Whatever. Also; I doubt that she killed her husband. It's noted that her missing husband liked to hide money, and likely had millions of dollars stashed in bank accounts all over the world. The docuseries does a cute attempt at being an episode of Forensic Files when it focuses on Carole's missing husband, but I didn't see anything that indicated evidence of murder. There were a lot of conflicting assumptions of what Carole did.

    Did she feed her husband to her tigers? That would be a fun twist, except tigers aren't fucking hyenas. Tigers can eat a person, but they won't even try to gnaw bones down to edible portions. It's also shown that the few tigers that Carole has at her zoo are, I would say, over-domesticated. I get that she could have killed him, chopped him up, and fed the meaty portions to the tigers while disposing of the bones elsewhere. But Jesus fucking Christ, I get that psycho-paths come in all shapes and sizes, but I highly doubt that Carole is the type to do all that.

    Did she bury him under her septic tank? The suggestion of this makes the whole idea lose credibility for me. Joe put out video of himself performing a mocking impression of Carole's missing husband, screaming about wanting to be let out from under the septic tank. Okay, so we're just abandoning the idea that she fed him to her tigers? I guess we're going to entertain any random stupid idea until we manage to bait Carole into reacting in a confirming manner.

    I believe that her husband just fucking left, went to anywhere else in the world with a ton of spare cash and lived out the rest of his life happily ever after.

    Jeff Lowe:

    You know what. He's an asshole and a piece of shit, but I don't hate him. I believe that he's a con-artist and that he scammed everyone he duped into working with him, and I still don't hate him. He hired a woman to be the nanny for his child in what is most likely an attempt on his part of have a live-in side-piece, and I can't bring myself to hate him.

    From what I saw, he never mistreated the animals, that's my reason for not hating him.

    I think that Jeff saw that Joe Exotic was a paranoid moron, and that he could manipulate him without and fear of repercussions. He knew that Joe's staff hated him, he knew that Joe didn't have any clue of what the laws were in regard to what would warrant an FBI investigation, and he knew that he could easily murder Joe at any point in front of everyone and nobody would turn him in. He saw the opportunity to get a free zoo, and he took it. I'll go more into that when I annihilate Joe Exotic.

    Jeff is the big winner in all this. I'm not sure how his business is being effected by COVID-19, but in the end he won and he won harder than anyone else in the documentary.

    Carole spent, if I remember correctly, 1.5 million dollars and over a year of litigation in her successful attempt to sue Joe Exotic. That's a bit of a pyrrhic victory, just saying.

    Jeff put on a rage disguise, and scared Joe off of his zoo so hard that Joe gave everything to Jeff. That's all it really took. Albeit, Jeff had to spend half a year making an impression on Joe. But still, one day everything was fine, and the next day Jeff had Joe running away from everything in fear that he might get yelled at some more.

    Joe Exotic:

    White trash like Joe Exotic is why I'm often reluctant to shop at Walmart.

    This dude is so fucking backward as a human being, I'll try to note every way in which I'm aware.

    First off, this guy can't sing or write music or even play a fucking guitar. That's weird considering the docuseries portrayed Joe Exotic as having a beautiful singing voice in contrast with his raspy speaking voice, and that all the music he performed was written by him. You see, Joe Exotic is a worthless sack of shit who believed that he was on the brink of becoming famous for having a successful reality tv show and thus managed to convince The Clinton Johnson Band to produce music for him for free and with no credit given to them so that he could put their music in the show and thus give them publicity. Wait, what? How in the fuck were they supposed to get publicity if the show indicated that Joe produced and performed the fucking music!? Joe Exotic doesn't have any music talent whatsoever, but he wanted to live the dream of being a respected musician. Like all pathetic arrogant sacks of shit in this world, it was more enticing for him to figure out a way to fake his way through it all instead of humbling himself and taking a fucking music lesson.

    This guy feeds his patrons garbage. That lovely thanksgiving dinner? That was ALL provided with food that had gone past its expiration date at a local Walmart. The pizzas that Joe provides to patrons so they can eat and watch tigers? They're made with ingredients that belonged in the trash. I get wanting to save money, I'm an avid coupon-clipper myself. This piece of shit is feeding garbage to his patrons, and they're praising him for it. This takes me to my next point that...

    Joe Exotic pays his staff less than a living wage under the table, and justifies this because he also grants them their pic of the expired food provided by Walmart. Carole has her army of volunteers, Doc has his sex-slaves, and Joe exploits the homeless by making them work long hours at his zoo for roughly $150 a week. They seem satisfied because they can take their pick of expired meat, and interact with wild animals. Either way, it's made clear in the docuseries that Joe will often berate his staff and in doing-so gleefully suggest that he could put them back on the street if they don't show him more "respect". It amazes me how people in this world who literally deserve no respect whatsoever are often the ones randomly demanding to be honored by anyone they see as an easy target.

    That internet show, for fuck's sake. Joe Exotic always wanted to be famous, and he would produce his own live internet show to exploit his whims to whomever might be pathetic enough to observe. This is where Joe could vent all his rage and hatred toward anyone he didn't like, and most often that was directed at Carole Baskin. Joe would take his revolver and shoot the head of a Carole Baskin effigy, and brag that he was going to put venomous snakes in Carole's mail box. To some of us, those are the mindless rantings of a pathetic little bitch, so of course the other pathetic little bitches of the world rallied around Joe (some continue to do so). The docuseries implies that there's a chance that Joe didn't really pay someone to kill Carole, and that the whole thing might have been a conspiracy concocted by Jeff Lowe to implicate Joe Exotic. Whatever, even if that's true, Joe went way the hell beyond the pale of common sense in his depictions of what he'd like to do or have done to Carole Baskin.

    This fucking idiot testified in his own defense at his trial. Good fucking lord, there are people out there who want Joe Exotic to be pardoned. Are you FUCKING SERIOUS!? If, and that's a big if, this guy didn't pay anyone to kill Carole and he's also innocent of the charges of animal cruelty, he did EVERYTHING in his power to ensure that he would be found guilty of those charges. You want to talk about someone who just doesn't have a motherfucking clue? This moron spent years of his life producing evidence that he wanted everything ranging from death to slow and horrifying torture to a combination of both to happen to Carole Baskin, and when confronted with a charge that he had paid someone to kill Carole Baskin, he thought that the wisest thing to do would be to testify IN HIS OWN DEFENSE!

    On top of everything, this tiny billy-badass wannabe got ran off his own zoo, that he spend decades investing his life and money into, because Jeff Lowe shouted at him. I guess that it's only a theory on my part, but hear me out. The docuseries shows Jeff screaming at Joe, apparently because Jeff "found out" that Joe was using profits from the zoo to fund a gubernatorial campaign. Jeff was screaming "THAT IS A-LEGAL!", which it realty isn't. Joe had given the zoo to Jeff already on paper, as a means of avoiding the fallout from Carole's successful lawsuit against Joe. But, Joe and Jeff were friends and they were going to work on the zoo together. When Jeff put on what I believe was an episode of fake outrage, he suggested that the FBI were going to investigate them and that Joe is nothing but trouble. From what I saw, Joe packed up everything he could and sold off the animals that he could before promptly leaving with the promise that Jeff would shoot him if he came back. While Joe was waving guns around and playing with dangerous animals in an attempt to look like a powerful person in his cute little internet show, the days were ticking away to when he would shamble off of the zoo he built because he was scared of getting shouted at.

    Please Mr. President, don't pardon Joe Exotic like so many White trash pieces of shit are begging you to do. Let that guy rot here he's not going to destroy anything with his compulsive toxicity. Let the obnoxious fad that is "Tiger King" fizzle out and let the people involved who I feel don't deserve to be in prison (I hope Doc Antle burns in hell) have their lives without the constant badgering of people on social media with too much time on their hands.

    Ah, there. Did anyone else watch this American train wreck?
    Quote Originally Posted by Spidercanrana View Post
    If the internet has taught me anything, it's that a show is either touched by God's mighty pen or Satan's diseased penis.

  2. #2
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    The Undertaker endorses Doc Antle.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Y 2 Jake View Post
    The Undertaker endorses Doc Antle.
    Yeah well, people do stupid shit when they're going through a mid-life crisis.
    Quote Originally Posted by Spidercanrana View Post
    If the internet has taught me anything, it's that a show is either touched by God's mighty pen or Satan's diseased penis.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Spidey's Avatar
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    I'm with you on the Baskin murder bit. If we weren't all quarantined and looking for a punching bag, I doubt she would be hated like she is now. Her biggest fault was that she wasn't as charismatic as the rest I think. The production crew literally used slow mo to villainize her at one point.

    They also glossed over how he was a slimey 40 year old rich dude that took advantage of a 19 year old, but between the underage sex and meth cults that was damn near normal.

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