Spidey's Snack Shack | Cult/Horror Review & Recipe Thread

[Spidey]

#18, 19, & 20: The Neon Trilogy

Special Reservation Via Invitation. ������

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Appetizer: Director's Filmography

Click for Spoiler:

1996 - Pusher
1999 - Bleeder
2003 - Fear X
2004 - Pusher II
2005 - Pusher 3
2008 - Bronson
2009 - Valhalla Rising
2011 - Drive
2013 - Only God Forgives
2016 - The Neon Demon

Let's kick this trilogy off the right way by discussing the neo-crime film Drive. When it first came out, it made a lot of people angry in theaters because the trailer made it seem like a popcorn action flick. It isn't. Far from it really. But that bait-and-switch pays off with a linear story executed fantastically. This is Ryan Gosling at his best - a broody yet caring protagonist who is swallowed up by the criminal waters of Los Angeles. A stuntman turned getaway driver smacks of B movie fun, but there are so many additional elements to this it makes my head spin.

The music, while jarring at first, is icing on the cake in what is obviously aiding the movie in paying homage to what we like about the 80s. Lighting gives this (and the rest of his work) a cool synthwave vibe to them and since I love that kind of music, this gets brownie points from me.

It's a simple tale of doing right by doing wrong. There may be a bit more patience required for the juicy bits, but that makes it all the better for me. Don't expect explosions, but there will definitely be blood.

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Next I want to briefly examine The Neon Demon. I watched this with a few friends and by the end they were emotional wrecks. SO of course I loved this film. The characters were way more lively than they were in the other two, and I can see why most label this one Horror, but for me it wasn't really Horror. It was a drama with horror undertones followed by a hell raising third act. Sort of in the same sense Hereditary is, where it's not apparent you'll get gruesome, but oh you will.

I noticed by this movie that Refn has a thing for pacing. It's unconventional and requires the audience to stay with the character even if what they're doing isn't exciting. He holds on to a shot, and it gives the film a dreamlike essence.

Fine enough film for arthouse horror. It isn't grip-you-by-the-balls terrifying, but it does something different with a archetype we've seen a hundred times plastered on billboards and magazines. Fair bit of fashion industry critique also makes this a pleasant ride with an unpleasant detour.

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Only God Forgives

(We can only have 2 videos per message. The trailer is in URL format.)

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And that brings us to Only God Forgives. This movie is the odd-man out. For half of it I was getting a hard David Lynch-vibe (right? Not from the dark supermodel nightmare but THIS one), with several moments reminding me of Blue Velvet. Gosling is still the quiet brooding protagonist, but this time there seems to be focus on him standing or sitting around compared to Drive, and no gentler side to fall back on. Gosling spends a third of the movie just staring at hookers. At least in the car flick the setting was visually stimulating and the music made you pay attention. While the set pieces and lighting were gorgeous here, it never really offered anything narrative-wise. Dialogue was also so flat and uninspiring it had to remind the viewers "Hey, Ryan is going to kill someone, we promise, this is a revenge story, just wait some more."

When people use the phrase "all style and no substance", this movie comes to mind for me. Count all the scenes that play with orange and blue colors. Make a damn drinking game of it.

I will give Refn and this movie in particular its props - stylistically it's a treat. Characterization with focus on what the cast is doing, wearing, etc. is superb, practically Tarantinoesque. When we finally, finally get around to violence, it goes above and beyond the other two films. Nobody is relatable in this movie but at least their blood is the same as ours.

If you haven't seen any of these but want to go on the journey, I'd start with this course first to get it out of the way.

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My Overall Take

There is one word that describes Refn, and it's aesthetic. Like Wes Anderson and Hitchcock, it's easy to pick up on who it is that's directing the movie. That's the mark of a true film auteur. His worlds are pretty but also seedy, full of bittersweet vengeance and understated lines. It is insane to know that this director is also colorblind, because when it comes to lighting and color choice, he is a champion. Old Hollywood meets millennial flavors in these films, and it's well worth price of admission let me tell you. Subdued until it can't be anymore, this kinda sorta trilogy is a thinking man's action movie gauntlet. Be prepared to shift in your seat and soak in the purple and pink spectacle.

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Tonight's Special: Grilled Fish Tacos (Seal of Approval)

A colorful as well as appetizing snack for your movie going purposes, this recipe is a favorite of mine for those pleasant summer evenings.

INGREDIENTS (Serves 6)

Adobo-Rubbed Fish

4 teaspoons chili powder, preferably made with New Mexico or ancho chiles
2 tablespoons lime juice
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
2 pounds mahi-mahi or Pacific halibut, 1/2- 3/4 inch thick, skinned and cut into 4 portions

Coleslaw
1/4 cup reduced-fat sour cream¼ cup low-fat mayonnaise
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
1 teaspoon lime zest
2 tablespoons lime juice
1 teaspoon sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt
Freshly ground pepper to taste
3 cups finely shredded red or green cabbage
12 corn tortillas, warmed


1. To prepare fish: Combine chili powder, lime juice, oil, cumin, onion powder, garlic powder, salt and pepper in a small bowl. Rub adobo rub all over fish. Let stand 20 to 30 minutes for the fish to absorb the flavor.

2. To prepare coleslaw: Combine sour cream, mayonnaise, cilantro, lime zest, lime juice, sugar, salt and pepper in a medium bowl; mix until smooth and creamy. Add cabbage and toss to combine. Refrigerate until ready to use.

3. Preheat grill to medium-high.

4. Oil the grill rack or use a grilling basket. Grill the fish until it is cooked through and easily flakes with a fork, 3 to 5 minutes per side. Transfer the fish to a platter and separate into large chunks.

5. Serve the tacos family-style by passing the fish, tortillas, coleslaw and taco garnishes separately.

[Spidey]

Goddammit with edits screwing up my beautiful skulls

Drive: 💀 💀 💀 💀 💀

The Neon Demon: 💀 💀 💀 1/2

Only God Forgives: 💀 💀


There will be a full list of the movies and their skulls at another time. I'll have them in order of best to worst, with skulls of equal value categorized by whichever one I favor most.

Been a fun ride. Will start back up again at a later time. If any of you have questions or comments, hit me up. I'd be happy to chat here.

Bon appetit!

[Spidey]

My Overall Enjoyment:

💀 💀 💀 💀 💀 - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
💀 💀 💀 💀 💀 - Drive
💀 💀 💀 💀 1/2 - Twin Peaks
💀 💀 💀 💀 - Ginger Snaps
💀 💀 💀 💀 - Hereditary
💀 💀 💀 💀 - Dead End Drive-In
💀 💀 💀 1/2 - Suspiria
💀 💀 💀 1/2 - The Legend of Billie Jean
💀 💀 💀 1/2 - The Neon Demon
💀 💀 💀 1/2 - Logan's Run
💀 💀 💀 - Phantasm
💀 💀 💀 - Escape From LA
💀 💀 💀 - A Boy And His Dog
💀 💀 💀 - Friday The 13th (1980)
💀 💀 1/2 - Jennifer's Body
💀 💀 1/2 - Orphan
💀 💀 - The Domestics
💀 💀 - Only God Forgives
💀 1/2 - Darling
💀 - The Bye Bye Man

[Spidey]

[nightmare]

I hope you have seen Mandy. Its.... intense.

[Spidey]

Haven't seen it but I've heard it's a "holy shit" flick, so it's on the list.

Placing this here as a reminder for movies to check out next:

Dead Alive

Mandy

The Diner Is Open To Requests

[Spidey]

#21: Halloween (1978)

Opening Date: October 27, 1978

Appetizer: US Billboards Top Song At The Time

Click for Spoiler:

"Hot Child In The City" by Nick Glider (October 22 - November 3, 1978)

Halloween is an American slasher film with one remake, seven vanilla sequels, and two remake sequels. Written and scored by John Carpenter, it made $47,000,000 at the box office in the US and 23 million internationally, becoming one of the most profitable independent films of all time. Touted as one of the best horror movies ever made, it is currently getting a reprisal this October so I figured I'd check it out again and see if it holds up.

The first thing we are treated to is that score of Carpenter's, and it's still has that looming presence about it - synonymous with Michael Myers. To put it bluntly, it is unforgettable. Even if you never seen a Halloween movie, odds are you know it. That gets an A+ in my books.

But what about the plot/characters/acting/etc? Well, one thing that I really like about this movie is the jumpscares. Weird, I know, but there really was an art to them once upon a time. Like when Laurie doesn't look where she's going and runs into a guy...there's no loud shrieking music. It does play a ditty when Myers arrives, but that's not bad in this case. The film doesn't lie to us, and that's commendable. As far as plot goes...eh honestly it's an average story, but then again Carpenter has said Michael Myers was inspired by the old campfire horror tale about an escaped mental patient. This was never meant to be revolutionary. This flick has also been lampooned, parodied, etc to death. You know where it's going even if you've never seen it, but that is mostly because this movie is so well-known that it's been ingrained in many of our minds. Just because you know The Wizard of Oz doesn't mean you can't enjoy it, right? Well, there are a tiny details here I didn't think I'd see, like the pure virginal archetype Laurie Strode smoking pot. That was cool.

Best part for me is the film theory/analysis. I'm not going to say anything unique here I'm sure (this film has been done ad nauseum, google it), but it still bears mentioning. This is a new twist on horror location. Usually horror movies up until now were set in places you'd expect horror, because of the unknown variable (slaughterhouses, hotels, woods, the sea, foreign lands, etc). This movie hits close to home, because it all takes place in the suburbs. We all know this locale as that safe place where nothing bad really happens. That's why you see characters keeping their doors unlocked or even open - this was considered normal once. It's not "the bad side of town" nor is it "where the poor live". It's white bread America, so of course it births a slasher icon. It's what these Middle Class folk don't see that's gonna get them. Monsters can and will come from anywhere so lock your fucking doors.

Also worth noting that nowhere in this film is there a connection to Laurie Strode and Michael Myers. Later films picked up her being adopted. This made the original much more engaging as I thought "wait when will they establish that important information?" and they don't. Myers is trying to kill her because she was with the other girls walking on the sidewalk. That's it. That's all it took.

Death scenes were fine-to-fuck that was more graphic than I recall . Scenes gave new info each time (even "How'd Michael even learn to drive?" was brought up), and the characters were likable, even the victims, which became sorely missing in future slashers. Not once did I think they deserved to die. Pacing was better than I remembered, building to a proper climax. Yeah, this is a roundabout way of saying yes, after 40 years this scary movie has remained scary. Even the acting wasn't as bad as I remembered it to be.

So go ahead and pull up a chair while I toss this baby in the oven. Oh. Oh no.

💀 💀 💀 💀 💀

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Tonight's Special: Classic Meatloaf

It may not be originally American, but it has found its place at many a dinner table over here. A staple of comfort food, we can't go wrong with the simple classic.

INGREDIENTS (Serves approx. 10)

1 lb. 90% lean ground beef
1 cup dried bread crumbs
1/2 cup diced yellow onion
1/2 cup milk
1 large egg beaten
2 tbsp. ketchup
1 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp. dried parsley leaves
3/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 tsp. ground black pepper


Topping:

1/4 cup ketchup
2 tbsp. packed light brown sugar
1 tbsp. red wine vinegar



1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

2. In a large bowl, add the beef, bread crumbs, onion, milk, egg, 2 tablespoons ketchup, worcestershire sauce, parsley, salt, garlic powder, and pepper. Use your hands to mush and mix these ingredients together until well combined.*

3. Add the meat mixture to a loaf pan. Pat the meat down into an even layer.

4. In a small bowl, add 1/4 cup ketchup, the brown sugar, and vinegar. Stir to combine. Pour the sauce on top of the meatloaf and spread it into an even layer.

5. Bake uncovered for 55 minutes.

6. Let the meatloaf rest for 8-10 minutes before serving (or it may fall apart).

[Spidey]

#22: Mandy

Theatrical Release: September 14, 2018

Appetizer: Other Movies That Were Released The Same Day

Click for Spoiler:

The Predator
Unbroken: Path to Redemption
A Simple Favor
White Boy Rick
Final Score
MDMA

Mandy is an action horror film set in 1983. Receiving positive reviews from Sundance and overall critical acclaim, Rotten Tomatoes gave it 93% Fresh and IMDB places it at 6.8/10. It's a revenge story where Nicholas Cage hunts down a hippie cult. It is also the last movie famed Icelandic composer Johan Johannsson (The Theory of Everything, Sicario, Mother!) worked on, deserving a posthumous end credit. This review is a too-go order for one nightmare.

First thing's first - Nicholas Cage is completely in his element here. It's a crazed, drug-fueled guitar solo of a film, and it's totally 80s eye candy. The mood is melancholic, with vibrant strokes of pulsating red, blue, and purples like it would be at any swanky nightclub. Visual effects were ace. Acting in general is well done, lighting is A+, capturing much of the fantastical atmosphere we see in hair metal album covers.

The end scene is a touch confusing though I think, and it does leave the audience wondering what it was they were really watching. For me it doesn't matter how real any of it was. This movie is very much a love letter to the 80s, specifically all the trippy sci-fi/fantasty novels that were popular at the time. There are three chapters to the film that I recall, "The Shadow Mountains", "The Children of the New Dawn", and "Mandy" which sound either like books or song titles of that time. Mandy herself is an artist, drawing and painting some of the more iconic symbols like tigers, moons, etc. She is also seen reading a high fantasy novel called Seeker of the Serpent's Eye throughout the movie. The ending does a good job tossing the viewer's beliefs in a tailspin with "is this fantasy? NO, it's real...wait it's..." and honestly, it works. The universe the story takes place doesn't break its own rules with the flip-flopping and that is quite a feat, really.

Grab an axe and a demon's bike 'cause you're in for a ride with this one. But before you go, have something from the Snack Shack on us.

💀 💀 💀 💀 1/2

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Tonight's Special: Baked Mac And Cheese

The hippies are baked. The drug peddler is baked. Cage is baked. Everyone is seeing moons, man.

Cheddar Goblin: It's Gobblin' Good!

INGREDIENTS (Serves 12)

1 pound elbow macaroni
1/2 cup unsalted butter
1/2 cup flour
2 teaspoons powdered mustard
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon paprika
6 cups milk
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon coarse ground black pepper
1 large egg
4 ounces Monterey jack cheese
4 ounces mozzarella
12 ounces sharp cheddar divided


1. Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees.

2. Shred the cheeses, keeping 2 cups of the cheddar off to the side for the topping.

3. Cook the pasta two minutes shy of the instructions, rinse and let cool. (We don't want the extra starch of the water making the mac and cheese too thick)

4. Add the butter to a large stockpot and melt on medium-low heat.

5. Add the flour, mustard, cayenne and paprika and whisk together until fully combined, cook for an additional 15 seconds.

6. Add the milk slowly while whisking to keep the mixture well combined.

7. Add in the salt and pepper and cook for an additional 5 minutes.

8. Turn off the heat.

9. Remove 1 cup of the milk mixture and let cool for a 3-5 minutes in the refrigerator in a larger glass measuring cup or bowl.

10. Add the egg to the cooled milk and whisk it well until fully combined.

11. Turn the heat on the pot back on to medium-low.

12. Slowly pour the egg and milk mixture into the rest of the milk while whisking very well.

13. Add in the Monterey jack, mozzarella and 1 cup of the sharp cheddar and whisk until combined.

14. Add the cooled macaroni back into the pot and toss with the cheese sauce.

15. Pour into a 9x13 baking dish and top with the remaining 2 cups of shredded cheddar cheese.

16. Bake for 30 minutes, uncovered.

[Spidey]

From our web to yours, Happy Halloween!

[Spidey]

#23: Dead Alive

Theatrical Release: August 13, 1992

Appetizer: US Billboards Top Song At The Time

Click for Spoiler:

"End of the Road" By Boyz II Men (August 9, 1992 - November 13, 1992)

Dead Alive (or Braindead) is a New Zealand dark comedy/zombie horror movie written and directed by Peter Jackson. Considered by many critics to be "the goriest fright film of all time", this flick bombed at the box office but managed to develop a cult following after Jackson became successful with the Lord of The Rings movies. This movie was suggested by Jeff Deliverer of Mail.

As far as technical aspects including special effects goes...yeah. This movie goes above and beyond the $3 Million budget it was given - to put this in perspective, The Room had a $6 Million budget (adjusted for inflation, Dead Alive still doesn't top it). So with what little Jackson had, he did wonders. The gory scenes are indeed cringe-inducing and I can't even describe how over the top it is. I grew up on Evil Dead and Troma films and this movie manages to give them a run for their money. Just slapstick shlock all around - lighting, environment, acting, makeup/prosthesis, you name it. And when we get to the house party...oh man. A delightful hellscape cometh.

This film is a uhhh love story? A matricidal fantasy? Pure gonzo filmmaking? I have no idea. I'm just a kid who tries to make sense of the things he sees on television, but sometimes that fails me. Dead Alive isn't like anything I have seen before, and I've seen some crazy stuff. I can't tell if this movie has a deeper meaning. It sure feels like it sometimes. But the nihilistic comedy offsets that to a degree that it confuses me (but it doesn't annoy). Don't get me wrong - this is not a movie I see myself watching a few more times to get a better picture. It most definitely is the sort of film I would suggest to friends to watch them squirm though. For that it gets points.

Grab some rope and tie yourself in for a left turn into absurdity. Don't forget to leave a tip and kick some ass for The Lord.

💀 💀 💀

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Tonight's Special: Simple Custard

When the WLWL are invited over for a meal, this dessert really gets the blood going.

INGREDIENTS (Serves 8)

4 cups of milk
4 eggs
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon butter
1/2 cup white sugar


1. Cook and stir milk, vanilla extract, and butter in a saucepan over medium heat until simmering. Remove mixture from heat before it comes to a boil.

2. Whisk eggs, sugar, and cornstarch together in a bowl until sugar dissolves.

3. Set saucepan back over low heat. Pour in egg mixture slowly, whisking constantly, until custard thickens enough to coat the bottom of a spoon, 5 to 10 minutes.

-not to be confused for #7's Egg Custard-