His name always sucked. It's weird and way too close to Dirk Diggler, a fictional pornstar. So let's play a game. Come up with a better name for this guy, who kinda seems like he needs a repackaging anyways. What's his deal anymore? Hell if I know. I'll start.

Donk Dudley - the lost Dudley boy from the Outback. Eh? There's even a precedent there with Dudleys being an extended family.