Oh lord are we there yet?

WrestleMania 34 looks like a stacked card that's had, frankly, one of the weirder builds of modern times:

  • Attempting to get the (at best) divisive 'Big Dog' and anointed face of the company cheered by having him get murdered at every turn by a special attraction, fighting machine champion? Check.
  • Having a rusty aging hero and a green all conqueror pair up to take on two executives who are self-aware but still clearly believe and buy into their own hype? Check.
  • Making two cool, though clearly under performing, babyfaces seem like total idiots by a cunning though now widely adored villain? Check.
  • Turning a bully monster into a bullied monster? Check.
  • Putting the hottest act on the card into a fun (though middling) tag team championship programme that makes the entire division look weak by comparison? Check.
  • And then there's the Undertaker vs. John Cena 'feud'...


Where do we even begin with that last one? For weeks Cena has blathered on and on about not having a spot at WrestleMania, in spite of the fact he's John bloody Cena and resorted, after failing to get into either WWE or Universal Championship matches, to calling out a supposedly retired Undertaker. He's called him a coward, a self-centred, ego-maniacal son of a bitch and last week resorted to stealing moves and mannerisms from 'The Phenom' during (and after) his match with 'Taker's brother, Kane. Tonight is the final chance for the 'Deadman' to rise once more and accept a match we all know is taking place. The real question of course is under what circumstances does this one take place? Is it a gimmick match? Which Undertaker shows up? Will he show up tonight or just at Mania? Can John Cena stop making ridiculous faces and cutting daft promos? We'll find out tonight as RAW sends its side of the card home to WrassleMania 34!